Dreaming Of Potatoes

 

              Every college student’s dilemma: It’s 1am, and after a long night of studying and socializing you are absolutely famished. The problem is, the last dining halls closed almost 5 hours ago and other options are just too far away and expensive to be viable. Most students would give up by this point and settle for instant noodles or some other ready made meal laden with sodium and other additives. I am guilty of resorting to this option as well on many occasions, but as the semester intensifies and the frequency of these late study nights increase it becomes apparent that doubling your daily sodium intake at the end of the day is not one of the secrets to following a happy life. That’s why this blog exists. Not to create pretty or delicious foods that seem like great ideas but end up costing a fortune or taking two hours to make. You won’t want to post these foods to your instagram and you won’t exactly look forward to eating them all day. However, I can promise that these recipes will be dirt cheap, and you will be able to make them in less than twenty minutes tops.

               So without further ado, I present the first meal I ate on campus when I realized that the dining halls close way too damn early. The first thing I picked up from my grocery run on the first day was a sack of potatoes. These will run you less than two dollars on most occasions and last for a month under normal consumption. Being that you’ll probably be making these at 2 am and of foggy conscious, let me give you a warning that is clear enough to remember at that time. If you don’t want to get food poisoning, wash the potatoes. It doesn’t matter even if you have to take them to the bathroom and dry them under the hand dryer. A 2am meal isn’t worth not being able to leave your room for a week. Second warning: Poke many, many holes in your potato before starting the baking process. A potato without holes is not a potato anymore. It is a pipe bomb waiting to explode in your microwave or oven and will probably piss everyone in your hall off. Wash the potato, prick the potato, stick it in the oven for 5 minutes. You will hear your potato hissing in the oven. Don’t worry, it isn’t angry. That is the sound of air venting out of your potato and it is the reason why your potato hasn’t exploded yet.

          After 5 minutes, open your microwave, flip the potato, and cook it for another 5 minutes. After this the potato will be extremely hot so exercise caution. Take the potato out of the oven and slice it down the middle. At this point the potato is ready to eat, but we are college students not animals. Slather the potato in butter and salt and pepper because right now it is blander than your grandma’s chicken pot pie. Add some cheese on top of the potato and blast it for another 30 seconds until the cheese is nice and gooey. If you’re seriously not done yet then add some sliced green onions, bacon, and sour cream. But even I’m not even that fancy, so the standard recipe should work in most cases. You can make two potatoes at the same time if your roommate is hungry too or that last calculus problem really beat you up back there. Next issue we will be exploring what kind of instant ramen is best and how to make them taste better than they already do.

3 thoughts on “Dreaming Of Potatoes”

  1. I like how informative this is! I want to know about more recipes and late night snack ideas in future posts. The point of this blog is to inform students of healthier ways to eat food.
    -Parmis

  2. Now I know how to cook potatoes on a college budget. Thanks Raiid. In the future I would like more recipes. And nutrition information, I’m on a diet, I’m trying to lose weight because I’m fat. Thanks!

    Peace and Love, Zack

  3. Your post made me hungry reading it and this is probably the most relatable thing I have read so far!! Some questions I have for your future blog posts include:
    – What other late night snacks have you made during college?
    – Have all these late night snacks gone to plan or have you encountered any difficulties/tragedies along the way?
    I am interested in knowing the answers to these questions because I am relying on you to provide me with more late night snacks to make at a cheap cost other than potatoes!

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