This I Believe Draft 1

Men are strong and will provide for the family. They will not cry and they will do as they are told. These are the stereotypical values of the past that my father held when he came from Peru. His parents taught him to listen to his elders without question. These ideals were what my father tried to teach me. I listened to him even if I disliked it because it was all I knew. People has moved past these methods of raising kids for a more compassionate route as children responded better towards this and hearing about how other parents were raising my friends, I wanted something to change. I was angered that I was following this mentality that my dad pushed on me because it was pushed on him. As a result, I began trying to express myself how I wanted. If I had feelings I wanted to talk about, I would talk about them. If I was curious on why my dad asked me to do a certain task, I would ask.  I even let my normal voice out rather than purposely deepening it so my father could see me as a man. However, my father would not change his opinion overnight. I had to continue to fight him on these issues on how to raise a child as I was dealing with the issues a kid my age had to deal with. The problem is these ideas have been ingrained into our minds for generations that no one really questions them. The difference is people should be recognized for more than their gender. Everyone has a different personality and to hold them to a certain stereotype limits people’s self-expression. People should be able to act however they want because it is who you want to be that matters. I continued arguing with my father about these issues and he thought I was being silly and naïve. He called me many different names and it crushed my confidence a little more each time. My mom tried to support me but I did not know if I could continue because trying to change my father’s ideals would be very difficult as we become more stubborn as we grow older. The backlash one will get for speaking up against the typical way of living deters many from trying at all and it almost stopped me. One night my mom was tired of hearing my dad yell at me and calling me names and she spoke up against him. She told me to leave as I was about to break down for hearing my father speak about me so negatively. I heard yelling to the point where my mom came storming past my room yelling, “it’s your fault your father and I have all these problems” as she stormed out. I was heartbroken that I potentially ended my parent’s relationship. I felt selfish and that if I just kept my mouth shut, the world would be happier. The next day my mom came back and apologized about what happened the night prior and I forgave her. However, she told me to not stop expressing myself and to fight in what I believe in no matter how hard it gets. This small comment gave me the fire to continue. I have talked with my father more about this and although his opinion has completely changed, he has begun to understand my view and has let my sister choose how she wants to be raised. However, the fight is not over. Expression is something that is needed in every aspect of your life. I still am working on getting the confidence to be myself in public and I will continue for the rest of my life. I also try to work on getting other people to express themselves in the way they want to. Guys can be emotional or romantic and girls can dress comfortably or independent. People worry that if they act in one of these ways, they will be judged, but if someone is truly worth your time, they will accept you, no matter how you act. Everyone else just wants to be accepted as much as you so just accept others and your kindness will be rewarded. This is a process that will not be completed overnight, but if we all work towards the goal of being able to express ourselves, I see a lot more color in the world.