Sexuality is a topic that often is uncomfortable, taboo, controversial. What we do in our most intimate moments, who and when we do it with, is not something that is easy to do, especially for women. Women, since the beginning of time, have often been looked down upon or seen as a certain way when they attempted to explore of discuss their sexuality. It was considered unladylike, not classy, and earned them labels of “whore” and “slut”.

This double standard, this label that society puts on women who want to talk about their sexuality and all that comes with it, is a clear stereotype and toxic way of approaching the already sensitive topic of sexuality. Girls should not grow up under the impression that they can not ask about things like sex, or their bodies, or sexuality. Girls should be informed and educated on the risks that come with a sexual lifestyle, not chastised for even wondering.

What a woman chooses to do with her body is not the opinion of a government or a society, but hers alone. If a woman wishes to wait until marriage, that is her choice. Just as it is her choice if she wants to explore her sexuality with different partners. The praising of men for “sleeping around” and the harassment of women for doing the same thing is a societal norm that must end. Intimacy should be exactly that: intimate. It is a personal choice made by an individual based on their own value system: not a decision that needs input and bullying from different people in a person’s life.

Women’s sexuality also translates to how a woman dresses, and the way that assumptions are made of her because of this. Women’s dress codes are far stricter than mens, even from the time of elementary school. Hypersexualization of women’s bodies have made things like elbows and shoulders deemed inappropriate to be seen during school. A woman is deemed “asking for it” when she shows skin, but a prude when she covers up. There seems to be no remedy for society’s judgement: everything a woman wears is bound to be scrutinized and held against her.

I have learned that the expression of one’s sexuality, especially as a young woman, is so important and vital to learning who I am. I will not please society with how I dress, but I will dress in what I feel happy and confident in. I believe that it is my right to discover who I truly am in anyway, and it is important that women support one another in this venture.

It seems from the time a girl is able to understand her body and the fact that she is becoming a woman is the time at which she realizes that society has already established whether her body is or is not deemed “beautiful”.

The idea of body standards and beauty standards in today’s society dictates almost every facet of life: advertising, entertainment, etc. When girls grow up constantly surrounded by advertisements of perfect, tiny, bodies, and when they grow up playing with perfect, impossibly small waisted dolls, and when they grow up being told exactly what is beautiful, it is no wonder that most girls will suffer from eating issues and body image insecurities.

Almost 80% of women have issues with how they look. This is a crazy, and disheartening amount. Much of this is attributed to the constant objectification of women’s bodies, which in turn lead to a hyper focus on how one looks. Women are expected to have large breasts and a big butt but a small waist and slender legs and a perfect nose and skinny arms. It is impossible to fit these standards society is putting forth, and because of that women are resorting to unhealthy habits.

I myself have been struggling with eating and body issues since I was 12 years old. Suddenly I was conscious that I didn’t look the like the beautiful girls on my television screen, and I didn’t know what to do about it. So, I started counting calories obsessively, restricting my eating an unhealthy amount, and spending my free time trying to make myself look like these seemingly perfect women. I ended up unhappy and hating myself even more when I messed up or ate too much or didn’t workout enough. I have learned to realize that this is not how to live one’s life. The bodies that are seen on TV are the work of professional diets and trainers, and genetics that I just don’t have. And I have accepted that.

It is so important for young girls to see representation of all different body types in the media. For example, Dove has a campaign with women of all shapes and sizes, encouraging normalization of every type of body, not just stick thin models. The media does have an impact, and it is vital for young girls to see that they are beautiful at every size.

In today’s increasingly digital society, the rise of social media has affected almost every facet of human life and society. Everyone can be found with the click of a button on various apps, and lives are amounted to a profile page of perfect pictures. Social media, while contributing much to society in terms of communication, economics, and information sharing, has also come with consequences to mental health, self image, and even gender representation.

 

As a teenage girl on social media, I have grown up with these apps for a good majority of my life. I have had profiles since I was in middle school, and have followed and watched as they expanded and grew. I have grown along with them. I have seen that women are expected to be perfect on these apps: perfect bodies, perfect outfits, perfect face, perfect life. And it has created a pressure in me like no other. I could never be these women, yet I was constantly being told that I had to be in order to be accepted.

“Skinny” teas and waist trainers and diet pills and hoards of makeup and tiny dresses have all been thrown in my face while I still had braces on. I was constantly being promoted products to make me more beautiful by the beautiful girls themselves, and this led to an unending feeling that I should be doing more in order to be those girls. More so than with men, social media has constructed an image of the perfect woman and put on a pedestal anyone that seemingly checks off the boxes. And for those that will never be that skinny or rich or beautiful, like myself, it can seem like you are nothing.

But what I have come to realize is that this isn’t the truth. My Instagram profile is not who I really am, and these seemingly perfect models do not actually look like that. They use layers of photoshop and filters and have personal trainers and diet regimes and are paid to put forth the image of perfection. But no one is truly perfect, and I wish that these Instagram influencers could promote this idea, especially for little girls, instead of one that is a false narrative of beauty. Women are more that their waist size or follower count or likes on a picture. And I feel that this is an important issue that we must focus on going forward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDn4tri1mPY

This week’s topic is something that hits a little closer to home, a personal issue that I have started to see unfolding within my own life as a student here at Penn State. My major is Business Marketing, and I am in the Business school here. And I have started to notice the way I am being treated by some of my male peers.

In recent years, there has been a strong push for women and girls to become more involved and interested in STEM professions: science, technology, engineering, and math. Various initiatives have been created in order to help achieve this goal, with various programs such as Girls Who Code, and various scholarships and grants set up in order to incentivize women.

Business does not technically fall within this area, as it is not considered a hard science. The percentage of women that pursue business related positions is in fact higher than those in hard science paths, yes. However, I have noticed that the treatment of girls and women within business classes has shown the discrimination held by many of my male peers.

Within my classes, I have noticed that I am automatically not looked to for ideas or solutions within group work. My male counterparts are more dominant, and make sure that their voice is heard over everyone else. This aggression is genetic, I suppose, but also troubling. I have had to raise my voice over and over just to be heard, and deal with the surprised looks of my peers when I offer a working solution. Often times, many of my male peers are wrong in their beliefs, and yet unwilling to accept the opinion of me or any other female students. I am looked to as inferior by many.

I do not want to stereotype all men, or give off the notion that everyone of the men in my classes or in business fields act like this towards women. That is not my intention. And perhaps I may be biased- I went to an all girls high school, where I constantly felt empowered and strong to participate and speak my mind. Maybe I am just not used to be overpowered. However, speaking with some other women in my major proves that I am not alone. These women also feel as though they often are overpowered and written off within this field of study, and want to make sure that they are making their way in the world.

This issue may be unsolvable, but I feel that it is important to talk about. I hope in my future classes I, and my other female peers, are able to treated as equals.

The Me Too movement, as stated in the previous post, was a call for survivors to stand up and take a stand on those who had abused them. While the movement was started in 2006, it regained a new life in the wake of large Hollywood scandals, as well as front page new stories of assault.

In 2017, actress Ashley Judd broke the story to the New York times detailing the sexual abuse she experienced by Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, a huge movie producer. Following the break of this story, hundreds of other women came forward with their stories of the abuse they experienced by Weinstein. These women include: Rose McGowan, Cara Delevingne, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Cate Blanchett, Uma Thurman, and countless others. These accusers ushered in a new era for the Me Too movement, coining the hashtag #MeToo as a way to bring back the original premise of the movement: making abusers feel strong enough to stand up in solidarity with others and share their story. Harvey Weinstein was one of the most powerful men in Hollywood, and many actresses feared what would happen to their career if they did speak up about their abuse.

The #MeToo movement was not limited to only Harvey Weinstein, but sparked a new revolution in which countless men in powerful positions were accused and taken down for sexual abuse. This included big names such as Morgan Freeman, James Franco, Casey Affleck, Louis C. K, Matt Lauer, and Bill Cosby. The #MeToo movement made victims feel as though they were vali and that the stories they had to share were worth telling. This did not translate solely to Hollywood. On a smaller scale, women felt more comfortable to acknowledge and stand up to sexual harassment in the workplace, an epidemic that affects people of all different backgrounds. Workplace sexual assault is a terrifying idea, as many believe and have lost their jobs as a result to speaking up. These movements helped validate these stories, as well as those of actresses, and provide resources to those who have been abused.

The Me Too movement has changed and evolved since its original creation in 2006, but the purpose has stayed the same. The movement helps victims of sexual abuse feel as though they can speak up and share their stories, and relate to others who have experienced similar pain within their lives.

The phrase “Me Too”, now known by the majority of society and existing as a large aspect of popular culture was launched in 2006 by Tarana Burke. Burke used this phrase as a way of creating solidarity between victims of sexual assault, and allowing for survivors to feel as though they had an outlet in which they able to share their stories.

Sexual assault, as with many issues involving sexuality and gender, was considered a taboo issue up until recent history. It is difficult to hear such stories, especially when they involve figures that we know and admire. But Tarana Burke knew that this taboo was something that needed to be erased, an issue that needed to be destigmatized.

The idea of “Me Too” was a way to achieve a sense of normalcy, or comfort, that one was not alone in what they were experiencing. Sexual harassment, especially in the workplace, causes women to second guess their actions. They retrace their steps and make sure that they did not do anything that would lead their boss to do such a thing. Girls have grown up with a mindset that they must prevent assault in any way they can: cover their shoulders, do not drink too much, do not ask for anything in a career but wait for it to be offered. These ideas, these preventative measures often leave women wondering if they missed a step in preventing such acts.

In reality, sexual harassment is a rampant issue that is never the victim’s fault. By creating a sense of solidarity between those affected in any environment by some type of sexual assault, Me Too has helped women realize it is not their fault, and that they were not the ones who should have “prevented” such an act.

 

The Me Too movement also creates a sense of hope for victims. They are able to meet women and men of all ages from all over the world who have experienced similar stories, and learn from their coping and lives. They are able to realize it is not their fault, and a whole world lies out there to explore and love. Me Too is a step in the right direction in the fight to eradicate sexual assault, and has brought people together in the process of doing so.

 

I was sitting in class when I received the text alert on my phone from Penn State.

“Your Right to Know: 

Sexual Abuse Took Place by Four Unidentified Fraternity Members”

Seeing news like this, especially as a young, naive, college girl, is chilling to the core. Perhaps the worst was the fact that the victim herself did not even report it, but a third party who she told had to.

This is not the first, nor the last of these types of headlines. Sexual assault on college campuses is an epidemic, affecting girls and boys of every race, religion, and sexual orientation. It is disheartening to hear, and is one of those problems that seems to lack a clear solution, which often can lead to hopelessness. Girls are often taught how to prevent sexual assault, instead of boys being taught to simply not be perpetrators of such crimes.

 

So what is there to do? What is the prescription for a seemingly incurable dilemma?

Well, it is first necessary to have a clear and distinct definition of what is considered sexual abuse, or rape, or assault on a particular campus. Each campus has their own specific definition, so it is necessary to be educated on your campus’. Penn State has a clear definition of all, and even has incoming students participate in an online education course about the best response to sexual assault, as well as informed them of their options in case such an event did occur.

As a young woman on a huge college campus, I have much to deal with already, as does everyone. I am struggling to keep up with mountains of homework, job searches, and a social life, all while maintaining my sanity. But I, along with thousands of others women here and millions all across the country also have the added worry of maintaining a sense of safety. I know I am not to walk alone past a certain hour. I know that going out means always having a buddy system, no matter what, and leaving when even one person feels uncomfortable. I know that women have to deal with the worry that comes with every rejection they have to give, that it is necessary to phrase it in such a way that allows for us to not be left with a potentially dangerous individual.

College is scary and overwhelming enough: we do not need this as well.

This MUST end.

So I urge you to read up and know the resources offered to you throughout campus, as well as take into consideration some of the practices I and many others partake in.

 

 

In this new decade, in the turn of the clocks to 2020, issues involving gender inequality, expressions of sexuality, and the idea of gender within the workplace seem like problems that should have been resolved, or at least problems where great strides have been made. Some may argue that they have, and I guess that is hard to dispute. Comparing 100 years ago with where we are today gives the illusion of progress, of reform. Women couldn’t even vote then, and the idea of expression of sexuality, whatever that may be, was not only frowned upon, but dangerous in society.

But this naive notion that our work is done in regards to this issue proves severely incorrect. How could it possibly be? We are in a time where the #MeToo movement is at the forefront of popular culture, where there exists little shock when a girl reveals she was sexually harassed, where women are taught how to “prevent” such behavior as opposed to men being taught to not commit such acts.

This blog is going to tackle some of these various issues that are existing in today’s society with regards to gender and sexuality. I am going to be largely drawing from research and statistics in order to touch on what is largely affecting a majority of the country, as I feel that this is an unbiased way to arrange the topics which are important for discussion. I don’t claim to be an expert, but maybe that’s okay- maybe new minds is what is needed in this fight against inequality.

I also don’t want to present myself as a victim; I am privileged as a white, straight, cis woman in this world and I do not claim to be enduring the same plights as many of my fellow sisters within this world. I will not speak to points I cannot understand or claim, as that is not my territory. I will however aim to discuss and learn along with others about what is occuring, and how someone in my position can help effect change.

I leave you with this video about the power of one woman, the power that women hold in our world. What I want to come from this insignificant little blog is hopefully just a moment of two where one is left to question if we are contributing to the problem, or the solution. I hope I am able to do just that.

 

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