Improving Mental Health in the University System
In 2020, a shock wave spread across America and went by the name of Covid-19. During the pandemic, the mental health of Americans plummeted due to self-isolation, job insecurity, and overall disruption of normal life. This time of internal reflection emphasized the need to stay mentally healthy and brought awareness to the state of mental health in America. One of the groups that were hit the hardest during this time was students attending college. In a time when a young adult is meant to be discovering themselves and carving their own path in the world, students were at home, facing stress, depression, anxiety, and many other mental health disorders. Because of this dark time, universities have a newfound awareness of the mental well-being of their students, and just how poor this state currently is. It was found in 2022 that over three-quarters of college students (77%) experienced moderate to serious psychological distress(1). College students’ vast array of challenges including “… coursework, relationships, and adjustment to campus life to economic strain, social injustice, mass violence, and various forms of loss related to COVID-19″(2) all contribute to the spine-chilling statistic mentioned above. It is painfully obvious that students in universities across the country are suffering, and that the mental health initiative is not pursued in vain. Universities have increased their mental health service offerings since the pandemic, but it is painfully obvious that the issue is getting worse rather than improving. While some universities such as The University of Pittsburgh have one of the highest-ranked student mental health in the country, other universities such as Penn State is ranked 29th on a list of 50 colleges with the most depressed student bodies (3). The inequality between university mental health programs is staggering and brings up the question: shouldn’t every young adult in college have equal access to proven effective mental health programs to prepare them for their future career and the rest of their life? The answer is yes, yes they should, but that can only be achieved by breaking the stigma on college campuses surrounding mental health and instating proven programs on (all?) college campuses to regulate the care and support that every college student deserves.
(1) https://www.bestcolleges.com/research/college-student-mental-health-statistics/
(2) https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/10/mental-health-campus-care
*Don’t end on rhetorical questions
*need second paragraph to hash out thesis and potential policy?
*articulate a path forward – what is the policy and what instruments does it use?
*dont have to invest a policy but reintroduce Pitt’s
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
Your title introduces the topic of your issue brief very well. It reflects your thesis without fully giving away the main points of this paper so I think your title it very well selected.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I like how you introduce your topic by talking about the pandemic. It makes this piece relatable to all readers because that was something that everyone had to go to. It also amplifies the existence of this crisis. I also like how you included the college’s statistics because it shows how widespread this issue is and begins to connect it to your overall topic of mental health in universities.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
Your thesis does a really good job of setting up your argument. It was a good choice to set it up as a question because it makes it very obvious to readers that this is your thesis.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.- “improving mental health at universities”, does reveal issue being discussed, does not provide any clear hints to a thesis per se, more just a vague description of the topic.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.- Yes. You have done a great job of formatting this introduction in a way that makes it clear mental health at universities is a prominent issue. Your use of statistics and connection to the covid pandemic aid in connecting the subject of mental health to university students in particular, which will definitely allow for a very detailed and specific brief.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?- I believe that the thesis is something along the lines of “shouldn’t every young adult in college have equal access to proven effective mental health programs to prepare them for their future career and the rest of their life?” (apologies if it’s not i’m kinda bad at figuring out thesis’). This does set up a very clear argumentative claim. It does seem to advance a change of practice in universities in terms of mental health resources, and definitely sets up the brief to hold an argument on university accommodations for mental health.