I won the lottery. Now, I’m no Mega-Millions or Powerball winner, but I’ve collected my fair share from scratch-off’s, two $50 tickets to be exact, and both were gifts from my girlfriend. But, I also won a different lottery. A lottery that many people don’t really consider until it affects them or somebody they know. The incurable disease lottery. Sicknesses that never really go away and that become a piece of a person for the rest of their lives. A person may struggle to see how anyone would consider that winning the lottery, but there are two sides to every story. It opens the eyes of those who have few challenges. It encourages self-reflection like few other events can. It changes the perspective on how to enjoy and cherish life. Because of my experience winning this obscure lottery, I believe in finding the good in every situation.
In eighth grade, an already uncertain time in the middle of… middle school, I faced pain that I had never experienced before. Beginning with a few stomach pains per day, it quickly grew into dozens of crippling pains throughout the school day and following me back home. Eating become undesirable as I lost weight and suffered from anemia due to the lack of nutrients in my body. I barely had enough energy to make it through a day at school and I would come home to take a lengthy nap afterwards.
One day, standing the hallway with a friend after school, I got a stomach pain. Clutching my books, I leaned against a pillar in the hall struggling not to double over in pain. My friend, as well as a teacher passing by in the hall, asked if I was okay. I meagerly responded, “Sure” since, at this point, nobody knew what was wrong with me. I felt like I needed to hide my pain because there were no answers for what it was.
After months of this pain, my lucky numbers were finally picked and my jackpot read “Crohn’s Disease.” This bowel disease meant the beginning of a lifetime of monthly IV treatments to maintain remission but finally a return to feeling normal. A return to an appetite, to energy, and to having answers to tell people. As I’ve grown older, I’ve thought more deeply about my disease and how it affects others too. Comparing my case to many others out there, I consider myself extremely lucky to have so far avoided many of the more severe consequences of this disease. No longer are the little things taken for granted, and I was granted a new perspective on life after going through tough times.
I consider myself lucky to have been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. On one hand, a diagnosis led into a successful treatment plan, but on the other, it opened up a whole new way to look at life. When everything lovable and enjoyable about life is quickly swept away, there is a new reference point to base the future from. Looking back, things were pretty terrible and there will be more terrible times in the future, but there is always something to learn and gain from an experience. It will rarely be clear in the moment, but after some time the “glass half full” will present itself. It is important to embrace the bad times while they are around because they will not last forever and they will be the best mentors of a lifetime. My disease has opened my eyes to enjoy life and look for the bright side, a jackpot I consider to be priceless.
It’s very peculiar that you compare having your disease to winning the lottery. At first I was confused but you did a good job explaining that more as you moved through your script. You tell us the story of how you learned you had Crohn’s disease, but I think we could also use an example of how it has taught you to look at the bright side. Looking at the bright side is the lesson you learned from your disease, but what bright side is there to having your disease? I think that is what is missing from your piece.
Overall though I enjoyed your script and the message that came along with it! I think it is one more people could use!
I think you have a clear conflict of learning how to deal with this disease and leaning to accept it and look for the good in it.
There is a clear beginning middle and end. It flowed very nicely.
When it comes to characterization, I think you don’t really need to work on it, because this piece doesn’t have other people in the story really, so I was never lost in who the characters were.
I think that your belief matched up with your story. It was a perfect example.
I think you have a fair amount of imagery.
I honestly think this was a good piece and I can’t find any sentences that need rephrasing or shifting around. Overall, I think you tell a great story with a great message