This week’s topic for deconstruction comes from a more recent personal experience. I won’t go into too much detail, as to keep the bulk of the post about the topic itself and not my rambling stories about my weekend. A friend came to visit me this weekend, and caused me to think about the idea of how we perceive distance. This friend was not from the area, and had to travel several hours to get to me. Though I wasn’t the one traveling, it made me realize that I had never really thought about distance as one of the things I took for granted.
Distance is a difficult concept for humans to wrap our minds around. This ties into our difficulties with objective time perception, as I have discussed before. The only way we really have to judge distance is how much time it takes to get somewhere, and this can change based on individual perceptions, as well as mode of transportation. A plane minimizes distance; walking or waiting for a public bus to get you somewhere by a certain time seems to maximize it.
Distance can be measured, that’s true. But those measurements are just additional attempts by humanity to micromanage the universe, and have no more weight to them than any other measurement. They have the same varied scales – meters, miles, feet, centimeters – several different measurement systems that have no values inherent to their existence. Humans make standards that can be compared to, but that is no use to a child on a long car ride or a young couple trying to stay together despite how far apart they seem to be.
Technology is also making the world smaller. Miles are still there, but the ways people communicate make it so there is no difference whether someone is a foot away or a state away or a continent away; you can still text them goodnight. This is beneficial to relationships that must endure distance as a factor, but is also twisting out perceptions of distance. Like the little stickers on car mirrors that proclaim “objects are closer than they seem;” this is becoming the mentality not just with cars on the highway, but also with business partners across the world, fathers and husbands away at war, and best friends separated when they go off to college.
The idea that distance defines the space between two things is a legitimate claim. The part that becomes deceptive stems from the many devices humans have engineered to make people or things appear closer out of convenience. It makes sense to attempt to eliminate distance as a limiting factor of human existence because humans are attracted to instant gratification. The concreteness of distance is valid no matter how fast time seems to pass because there will be a passage of time associated with a certain distance. An individual’s perception of the length of that time span may vary, but if something is not close, you cannot get to it physically without crossing that distance.
Though distance does strain personal relationships, there are ways of making it work to your advantage. Surprises and phone calls can limit the effects of distance, and though the mail is often unreliable, it’s an option. This extends beyond romantic relationships as well. Most of us are some distance away from our families and friends from home, and that distance can strain those relationships just as much.
Distance can also be liberating as much as it is restraining. Separating yourself from home can be a wonderful experience, though also a sad one. Striking out on one’s own life journey is a terrifying and exciting time. Distance from people can allow you to evaluate the relationship, and can take away the pressure to exist peacefully that arises from constant contact. That does not, however, give you permission to ignore your mother’s text or your father’s email.
Video of the Week: I’m Already There
- This song is one of my favorites, and the inspiration for the title. It can apply to many situations involving distance, depending on your own interpretation. I will warn you, it’s as depressing as it is reassuring.