The 12 Steps of Al-Anon
Suggested Preamble to The Twelve Steps
The Al-Anon family groups are a fellowship of relatives
and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope
in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is
a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political
entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy;
neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership.
Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.
We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to
families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the
alcoholic.
The Twelve Steps
Study of these Steps is essential to progress in the Al-Anon
program. The principles they embody are universal, applicable to everyone,
whatever his or her personal creed. In Al-Anon, we strive for an ever-deeper
understanding of these Steps and pray for the wisdom to apply them to
our lives.
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives
had become unmanageable. - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could
restore us to sanity. - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the
care of God as we understood Him. - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs. - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects
of character. - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing
to make amends to them all. - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others. - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it. - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His
will for us and the power to carry that out. - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps,
we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles
in all our affairs.
Information for the Newcomer (S-4)
The members of Al-Anon and Alateen understand how it feels
to come to a meeting for the first time. Since there may be a few
things you are wondering about, we would like to share with you some of
the answers to often-asked questions about the group and what happens at
our meetings.
Who are the members and why are they here?
Members are all kinds of people from all walks of life:
wives, husbands, lovers, sisters, brothers, children, and parents of alcoholics.
No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share
a common bond: we feel our lives have been deeply affected by another person’s
drinking. We meet together to share our experience, strength and
hope.
How will it help me?
You will probably hear about a situation much like your
own. If you don’t find someone with the same set of circumstances,
you may still be able to identify with the way many of us feel about the
effects of alcoholism on our lives. We are all individuals striving
to become the best people we can, each in our own way. That way is
not the same for each of us, but there is help for everyone whose problem
is alcoholism in others.
Do I have to say anything?
If you wish to speak, please do. If you would rather
sit and listen, that’s all right, too. We try to listen to each other
with an open mind. We also say, “Take what you like and leave the
rest.”
Will anyone say I’ve been here?
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program.
It provides a safe place for members to share. We use first names (or
first names and last initials) only. We do not talk about the people we see, or repeat
what we hear at meetings. We guard the anonymity of all Al-Anon
and AA members.
Is this a religious fellowship?
Al-Anon is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one.
Members of any faith, or none at all, are welcome, and we make it a point
to avoid discussion of specific religious beliefs. The Al-Anon program
is based on the spiritual idea that we can depend on a “Power greater than
ourselves” for help in solving our problems and achieving peace of mind.
We are free to define that power in our own terms and in our own way.
Does Al-Anon have professional counselor or therapists?
Al-Anon offers a non-professional self-help program of
recovery.
Can Al-Anon recommend treatment centers?
Because we are non-professional we do not recommend sources
of outside help. Through sharing of our personal experiences, members
gain insight into dealing with their own situations.
Who is responsible for the group?
We all are. We elect group officers to serve for
short periods of time, perhaps three months to a year. In giving
service to Al-Anon, as part of our recovery program, members volunteer
to lead meetings, set up the room, display the literature, and fill other
group needs.
Are there other groups like this?
Our group is one of many thousands of Al-Anon and Alateen
groups in more than 110 countries around the world. We are tied together
through a World Service Office (WSO) in Virginia Beach which acts as a
clearinghouse for ideas and service. In the U.S. and Canada, each
group belongs to a district and an assembly area. The group representatives
meet and elect delegates to the annual World Service Conference.
(Refer to Al-Anon Service Manual P-24/27.)
How much is this going to cost?
There are no dues or fees to join an Al-Anon or Alateen
group. Most groups pass a basket at meetings, and we put in what
we can afford to contribute on a voluntary basis. We use the money
to pay the rent for a meeting place, to provide Al-Anon Conference Approved
Literature for the group, and to support our local
and world-wide service centers.
Now what do I do?
We Al-Anon members find it helpful to:
- Obtain a meeting schedule.
- Go to meetings.
- Talk to each other before and after meetings.
- Exchange phone numbers.
-
After while, you may wish to ask a longtime member to be your
sponsor – a special friend with whom you can continue sharing your personal
feelings. -
Read Al-Anon and Alateen books, pamphlets, our magazine,
The
Forum, and Al-Anon and Alateen newsletters.
If you still have questions, feel free to ask them.
We offer you our friendship and our understanding. Please Keep Coming
Back.
Excerpts from Purpose and Suggestions (P-13)
Al-Anon Family Groups
Al-Anon Family Groups, Al-Anon and Alateen, are a fellowship
of men, women, and children whose lives have been affected by the compulsive
drinking of a family member or friend.
Whether or not the alcoholic has found sobriety, the family
and friends can do a great deal to help themselves as well as the alcoholic.
Purpose
Each Al-Anon Family Group has one purpose: to help families
and friends of alcoholics. This goal is achieved by:
-
Offering comfort, hope and friendship to the families and
friends of compulsive drinkers. -
Providing the opportunity to learn to grow spiritually through
living by the Twelve Steps adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). -
Sharing experience in coping with the disease of alcoholism
and learning how the Al-Anon program helps us to give understanding and
encouragement to the alcoholic.
Suggestions for Newcomers
Learn to accept the fact that alcoholics suffer from an
illness. Try to avoid nagging, scolding and arguing.
It doesn’t help; it hurts – both you and the alcoholic.
Improve yourself in Al-Anon work; helping others helps
you, too.
Search out your own shortcomings and try to correct them.
Later you will find that you can detach your mind from your troubles, a
sign of real progress.
Meditate daily on Al-Anon’s simple slogans:
- One Day at a Time
- Keep It Simple
- Easy Does It
- How Important Is It?
- Just for Today
- Keep an Open Mind
- Let It Begin with Me
- Listen and Learn
- Think!
- First Things First
- Easy Does It
- Live and Let Live
- Let Go and Let God
Detachment (S-19)
Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the
effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to
bear without help. In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible
for another person’s disease or recovery from it.
We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and
begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and
rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.
In Al-Anon We Learn:
-
not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other
people; -
not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in
the interest of another’s recovery; - not to do for others what they could do for themselves;
-
not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed,
get up, pay bills, not drink; - not to cover up for anyone’s mistakes or misdeeds;
- not to create a crisis; and,
-
not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of
events.
Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not
imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we
are detaching. It is simply a means that allows us to separate ourselves
from the adverse effects that another person’s alcoholism can have upon
our lives.
Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically
and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.
Al-Anon Is a worldwide organization that offers
a program of recovery for the families and friends of alcoholics whether
or not the alcoholic seeks help or even recognizes the existence of a drinking
problem. Members give and receive comfort and understanding through
a mutual exchange of experiences, strength, and hope. Sharing of
similar problems binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is
protected by a policy of anonymity.
Al-Anon Is Not a religious organization or a counseling
agency. It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other
organization offering such services. Al-Anon Family Groups, which
includes Alateen for teenage members, neither express opinions on outside
issues nor endorse outside enterprises. No dues or fees are required.
Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one’s own life has been adversely
affected by someone else’s drinking problem.
Just for Today (M-12)
Just for today I will try to live through this
day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something
for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it
up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This idea assumes
to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are as happy as
they make up their minds to be.”
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my
“luck” as it comes and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be
a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought,
and concentration.
Just for today I will focus on what I can control, not
on the things I can’t control. I will also realize that the only one I can
truly control is myself.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will
look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, and criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with
anything nor try
to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may
not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from
two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try
to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially
I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as
I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
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