I recognize that I have mostly been interviewing female feminists, so I wanted to get some diversity in this blog. I want to make sure that I am getting different perspectives, and I want to show those fairly evenly. I can’t control what people are going to say when I ask them if I can interview them, but I can be respectful of their opinions. So, while I do not agree with everything this person said, I do recognize that they have the right to have their own opinions.  I know that most of the people who read my blogs are normally feminists, so I encourage you to respect this person, and to respond with your opinions. If you don’t agree, comment why. The purpose of this blog is to learn more about other people’s perspective and to understand where they are coming from, while also learning more about reasons for and against feminism. This person is a male faculty member at Penn State, and these are his views on Feminism.

What is a feminist?

Someone who believes men and women should have the same rights and responsibilities in society.

Are you a Feminist?

No. Although I am in favor of equal rights for men and women I also believe women are better suited to some jobs than men.

Why are you not a feminist?

I believe men and women are made differently and have different talents, abilities and gifts. For example, women can bear children, and men cannot. Women are usually warmer and caring and more concerned about the process, rather than the goal. On the other hand, men tend to be colder, more goal oriented, and more concerned with fairness even if it hurts. In general, women are not as strong as men, so women are not as suited to hard physical work as men. I therefore believe certain jobs are more suited to men than women and vice versa.

Have you ever noticed a time when feminism excluded other groups?

Sure. For example in a church, the elders are all male. Feminists would not agree with this fact, and might want women to be elders, but I believe that is right because the Bible tells us so.

How can feminists include these groups?

I want to know if feminists are willing to accept that there are fundamental differences between men and women that make women more suited to certain functions than men (like caring for children) and vice versa (like leading a body of people like a church). If that is not the case, then how is there going to be acceptance by feminists of these people?

Do you think there is a perception of a “real woman” in society today? By this I mean are there certain standards that women are held up to in order to be considered a woman? If so, how would you describe this woman?

I don’t know what a ‘real woman’ is and I don’t particularly like generalities. Every woman is different so I don’t think you can say all women have to do the same thing. I also think today’s society thinks differently about what a real woman is than I do. So let me give you my thoughts. I think that the most natural thing for most women to do is to have children and care for them. Before a woman has children, or after her children have grown, it is easy for a woman to have a job. But if she chooses to have children, the woman should be willing to set time apart to care for them. Men should be responsible for making sure they can sustain the family.

If you could say one thing to feminists what would you say?

I think most feminists consider being a mother and homemaker is not a worthwhile calling. Considering that my own mother was one and that I greatly appreciated her being at home for us, I think this is something worth reconsidering.

Do any aspects of feminism appeal to you?

Equal rights for women and men (voting rights, access to education, equal salaries for similar positions).

Now there were several responses that I agree with. For example, being a mother and a homemaker is something that I admire, and I don’t think feminists should tell others that being a mother or a homemaker is a bad thing. However, I don’t think a woman should be forced to do this, or feel like this is her only option. A woman should be able to choose what she wants to do, and feel comfortable and free to make that choice. If a woman wants to be a mother, than she should be able to be a mother without feeling ashamed of that, and the same goes for being a CEO. I also agree with the fact that if someone decides to have children, they should set time aside for them. Being a parent isn’t a decision someone should take lightly, and I think a person should be prepared for the responsibilities that come with a child. If you aren’t ready to be a parent, don’t have sex, or be prepared to put a child up for adoption. However, I think that a woman can do any job she sets her mind to. If she decides she wants to be a weightlifter, just you try and stop her! She has the right as a human being to make those decisions, and she shouldn’t be told she can’t have a job because she won’t be as good as other people. She should be encouraged to try and be the best she can be!

This week, I am going back to introducing new people, and stepping away from the topic of rape and sexual assault. If you ever want to talk about it, feel free to send me a message, because I am more than willing to do so! Some of you may recognize this lady from our english class. Her name is Gabby Giotto, and she had some very insightful things to say. I think the point I liked the most, and that made me think the most, was that of intersectional feminism. The fact that this feminism exists shows how feminism has a long way to go. Feminists shouldn’t feel that they aren’t being fairly represented in the feminist movement; feminism should be intersectional feminism, where any person feels comfortable and feels as though they are being protected and represented. I think this is a big problem in any group. People are always excluded, and are never really fairly represented, and I think that is one of the bigger issues with Feminism today. Everyone should be a feminist, and everyone should be represented equally in feminism. So without further ado, let me introduce you to Gabby.

Are you a Feminist?

Yes. 100%.

Why are you a feminist?

I’m a feminist because I’m a woman and there are people out there who still think that they are better than me simply because of that fact and that needs to be changed. Is that a grammatically correct sentence? I don’t know.

Why do you think there is so much negativity associated with feminism?

I’ve struggled with this question over the years, but I think feminism has a negative connotation because of the fact that it is called “feminism.” People today don’t take the time to do a simple search of what the actual definition of feminism is, and they simply dismiss it at women who want to be on top. In my beginning years of first realizing that I am a feminist, I thought that we should just call it equality, but now I know that feminism needs to be called feminism because women were and are the oppressed. We started this movement and we are going to follow it through until it is over.

Have you ever noticed a time when feminism excluded other groups?

Yes, but I can’t really pinpoint a specific time. I’ve recently learned a bit about intersectional feminism, which essentially is feminism that includes every type of feminist whether you are white, black, gay, trans, gender-neutral, whatever you may be. A lot of people have been speaking about even within the feminist movement there are oppressed people. White women are the least oppressed out of all women because of their skin color as we know, so this can cause them to ignore other women and ignore the fact that black women or Latino women or transgender women have more difficult or even completely different experiences with oppression than they do.

How can we include these groups?

The key to including all groups in my opinion is never letting your own problems be the end all be all. What I mean by that is you always have to try to empathize with other people and take a look through their eyes because we all may be fighting the same war, but some people have different battles within it. I’m not saying that your individual problems don’t matter, but it’s really essential to never leave anyone out. So, when you are discussing an issue like equal pay in the workforce, don’t just stop after you say that women make 78 cents to a mans dollar because that’s just not true. Black and Latino women make even less than that; that 78 cents is only for white women.

How can feminism change the world?

Feminism can change the world because it’s all about love and acceptance. That’s really all there is to it. You may not agree with a person’s points, but at least acknowledge that their opinions matter simply because they are human. That’s what I really love about feminism. Treat everyone with respect because they are no better than you and you are no better than them.

What is one issue that makes you mad as a feminist? 

When a woman disagrees with a person and that person acts like she flipped out on them. The best is when they shrug it off and say something like, “oh she must be PMSing.” Are you kidding me. That REALLY ticks me off, and I can get super heated. One fact about that line is that PMS only happens to 3-9% of women, the real, medically diagnosed form the DSM version of PMS. I’m gonna stop before I start rambling, but if you ever want to talk about PMS with me, I’m down. Also the fact that while writing this I was trying not to sound like a raging maniac because I didn’t want you guys to think I was crazy is making me mad because that’s exactly what I’m trying to stop. Love it. Love life.

If you could say one thing to people who are against feminists what would you say?

Do your research on what it actually means to be a feminist and then come talk to me. I get really angry when people say they aren’t feminists or if they don’t believe feminism is right and then I ask them why and they give me an answer like “they are just all crazy” or “they hate men.” This just isn’t true. There may be some feminists out there who are crazy and there may be some who hate men, but feminism at its core does neither of those things.

This week, I want to continue the topic that I brought up last week with my I. Smith post. The issue of whether or not there is a rape culture in our society is prevalent in many situations, and I feel that it is somewhat addressed by Penn State, but at the same time, if there are conflicting thoughts on whether there is such a thing as a rape culture at Penn State, they aren’t addressing the issue completely. Penn State made all of us complete the PSU Safe and PSU Aware, but did these really address the issue of rape and rape culture? Did they really accomplish anything? I hope that Penn State will make a bigger deal of the definition of rape, and make a bigger deal of the problem of rape. For this post today, I talked with a woman who was raped about her experiences and thoughts on the rape culture, and Penn State’s resources. The person I interviewed today wished to remain anonymous.

What do you consider a feminist to be?

To me a feminist is somebody who believes in the equality across all the borders, of all the sexes, no matter if you associate as a woman, a man, a transgender, whatever you are. Someone who believes in equality across all the genders and sexes.

Would you consider yourself a feminist?

Yes.

To move on to the issue of rape in general, why do you think rape is such a big issue in our society. 

I think rape is such a big issue, more or less because we teach women to not necessarily fear men, but to consider themselves inferior to men. That’s not just because I have feminist values, I think that from the time we are young, we are taught that boys are boys and girls are girls, but that there are certain things boys can do that girls can’t do. For example, there is the issue of the dress code. In my high school, there was a rule that girls had to wear tops that had three inch sleeves, and covered their bra straps. But if a guy wore a muscle shirt or a sleeveless shirt, it was okay. So I think we are teaching men that it’s okay to act how they wish and not respect women. But we’re teaching women to almost have this inborn fear of men, because men are seen as more powerful no matter what kind of situation you are in. I think the other reason rape is a big issue is because our society is based in victim blaming. Yes, I will say that some women put themselves in circumstances that could make them more likely to be sexually assaulted, but does that ever mean it’s their fault? No. I don’t know how someone can go and say to someone that has been sexually assaulted that it’s their fault they were sexually assaulted. It’s never your fault that you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, or whatever it is. I actually had this conversation with my parents just the other day. My dad said the girl is basically letting it happen when she lets a guy into her room, and I said not necessarily. I could let my boyfriend, who I am in a perfectly happy relationship with, into the room, and we could kiss and do all kinds of things. But if I didn’t want to have sex, and I said no, and he kept going, he is still raping me. Just because I let him in, doesn’t mean that I’m giving him consent to do whatever. You still need consent to do each step of the way and I think people always think that it is the girl’s fault, that she flirted with him, that she wore a low-cut shirt, that she invited him back, that she drank too much. It’s always about what the victim did, and never about what the guy who raped her. And it goes the other way too, for women who rape men. It’s not just a female problem. It’s a universal problem, and it’s awful.

So with your personal experiences, could you just describe some of the victim-blaming that you experienced?

I was raped before I came to college, while I was at a party at home. I drank too much, and became intoxicated, and I had sex with someone. I don’t remember whether I gave consent in the moment, but would not have given consent if I was sober, and if I had a properly thinking mind. That was all the victim blaming I got; “you drank too much, it’s all your fault, you drank too much” “you can’t remember whether you said yes or no, so it’s your fault. Because what if you did say yes? Then you did give consent” No, because I was drunk, it doesn’t matter whether I gave consent or not, I was still drunk. So either way, it’s not consent. Another form of victim blaming I got was from the fact that I wore a crop top to a party. “Well you were asking for it because you looked like a slut.” I wore a crop top and long pants. Sorry I showed maybe a few inches of my stomach, and that means I am asking to get raped. I didn’t go into this party and say “while I’m in here tonight, I want to get raped, that is my goal.” The part that made it worse for me, was that the guy who raped me knew that I was extremely drunk, and he was not extremely drunk. He knew that what he was doing was taking advantage of me, just from the fact that I was intoxicated. That was the part that hurt the most. Somebody that I knew from my school, and that I talked to, was like “well since she is drunk, let’s just throw everything else away.” That was really hard to deal with.

With being intoxicated, and not really knowing whether you said yes or no, did you take a rape kit?

No, I didn’t report my rape. For such a long time, I believed that it was my fault because I was drunk. I’m not the kind of person who dwells on things, and so I decided I would move past that, and learn from it. I decided I would share my experience and help other people to know that they should and can report it, and there are people that are going to help them. I had heard so many stories of people in my town reporting that they had been raped, and the police almost victim blaming them. They would say “Well, you were drunk, so how do you know?” Under the law it still says that if I was drunk, I was raped. That was really hard for me to comprehend.

What is the main reason you believe people don’t report their rapes?

They might be scared of the victim blaming, scared of the person who raped them, scared of being the boy who cried wolf. If a girl says she thinks she was raped, and it turns out she wasn’t raped, but she was sexually assaulted in another way, and then she does get raped, people might think “you weren’t raped the last time, so why should we believe you this time?” Our society is so accepting of rape, that women don’t feel comfortable reporting their rapes because they think society thinks rape is okay, and that it’s not a big deal to them. In reality, it’s a huge problem and it needs to be addressed. One in five women should not be getting raped when they go to college. People don’t go to college and say “I’m going to get good grades, I’m going to get a good job, I’m going to graduate and I’m going to get raped.” But the statistics in our country say that you’re more likely than not to get raped. Should you always have to feel like you always have to have your guard up, you always have to protect yourself, you can’t go out on a date without thinking the guy will take you back to his room and rape you? How are you supposed to feel about that? At Penn State, they have great services, and we are lucky enough that the police do take great consideration into what they do. The rapists here are prosecuted and have consequences, but there are universities where the victims are told that they need to be quiet because the rapist is an athlete, they do this, they do that. Why does it matter who they are, it should matter who I am. I am a victim, but I am just as much of a human being as they are. Just because they play basketball, or hockey, does that mean I’m less than them? Or is it just because I am a girl?

What do you think our society can do to help people feel more comfortable with reporting their rape, and coming forward to talk about their rape?

It’s sad because I wish I could say we should just fix the fact that we live in a rape culture society, and that we should just teach men to respect women, and understand there are boundaries in the world. Just because a person is drunk, or on drugs, or vulnerable doesn’t mean that you should take advantage of them. Teach people to respect other people, and that would be the beginning of fixing the problem. But just with being comfortable coming out and talking about, people have to keep sharing their stories. I didn’t talk about it at first, because I didn’t know anyone else who it had happened to. But, when you look at the statistics, in reality everyone knows someone that it has happened to. I feel that people don’t feel they can talk about it, so nobody does. Whereas, if people realize that people want to know, and want to be educated, you could talk about it and it would be so much easier for people to understand what is going on. It’s more about educating people than anything. It’s not about being reactive, it’s about being proactive. It’s about having people come into high schools and saying this is a problem, look at this. It’s about having people come to colleges, and saying that these colleges have a rape culture. At Penn State we have a rape culture. It’s just the reality of coming to a big school where there are people that drink and party a lot, and there are guys that take advantage of women, women that take advantage of guys, or guys that  take advantage of guys, or whatever. It doesn’t matter what sex you are. The statistics go down if you are a man, but does that make it any better? No, it just means you are less likely to be raped. I think that happens because we have such a male-dominated society. If we started teaching people that people are equal, regardless of gender, or sex, there wouldn’t be this power struggle of men feeling as if they have to force themselves on women because they feel they have the right to.

Going along with the idea that there is a rape culture at Penn State, why would you consider Penn State to have a rape culture?

If you go out on the weekend, and you go to a frat, you see so many guys just on top of girls that are completely wasted. And I think to myself, “there is a huge chance that something could happen to her tonight.” It’s so hard to reason with drunk people, so you could try to reason with her, but she wouldn’t believe anything would happen to her, because she thinks she is invincible. I feel the same way. When you are intoxicated, you don’t think anything is going to happen to you. But, we get those text alerts, and the fact of the matter is, that we get those, but there are so many more that we don’t get alerts for. We don’t get alerts for those that happen off campus, in apartments or at frat houses. One in five means that if there are 25 girls at a party, five of them are going to get raped. That’s the reality. They might not all get raped in the same way. It might be oral, it might be anal, it doesn’t matter. It’s still rape. We’re lucky here because more people are reporting their rapes, and are feeling more comfortable because we are making it more accessible for people to realize they can get help, and that the police are going to do something and investigate it. It doesn’t matter if they were drunk or on drugs. But, we have one of the biggest greek systems in the entire nation, and I’m not saying it’s all frat brothers that rape, but I am saying that having those houses off campus means that we have those rapes that we don’t know about because they happen off campus. The police know about it, and that’s great, but if it doesn’t happen on campus, we don’t find out about it. That is hard to deal with. My mom texted me the weekend after we moved in, and told me that there were four sexual assaults on campus that weekend that were reported. So that means there were probably 16 more that weren’t reported. In two days, there were probably about 20 sexual assaults. We had been here for a week. Imagine what the rest of that week held. That week is silly week, so everybody goes out, so how many more happened from Monday to Thursday. We have a rape culture, because the amount of rapes that happen around us are so high. It’s not that Penn State doesn’t have resources because there are resources, they do help people that are victims of sexual assaults, the police do investigate it, and we are lucky that we go to a university that does do something about it and doesn’t push it under the rug. But the scary part is that so much of this stuff still occurs. We can keep talking about it and keep teaching women to protect themselves, but it’s going to keep happening. Rape is an inevitable thing and I don’t think we are ever going to rule out rape from our society, no matter how advanced we get. But the reality is that the numbers should be a lot lower than 1 in 5. I shouldn’t have to fear I will get sexually assaulted when going to a party with 4 other girls because that’s what the statistic tells me.

What do you think Penn State does well, and what do you think we can work on with the sexual assault resources we have?

I think Caps and the Women’s resource center are great. I wish they brought more representatives to campus events, or had them at the hub. I wish they spoke more often, maybe even once a month, just so people got to know them better. It’s hard to go somewhere and start talking about something that happened to you with someone you don’t know. If they even had pamphlets that had pictures of the people who worked there, and told you what they did, and people they had worked with in the past, it would go a long way. We also get those alerts, and they are great. But they also only are for those that happen on campus. I think there should be something different that tells us specifically something that tells us what happened at fraternities over the weekends. The number would go up and the number would be so staggering to people, they would think about “if I go to a frat party, I need to be more careful.” Another thing with those alerts; We never find out what happens after. We never know if the victim got help. We don’t know if they deenrolled. We don’t know whether the perpetrator was arrested or was kicked out of school.There are days I sit in my classes, and I think “he could have raped a girl. They could have investigated it, and he could still be here, just because they don’t have enough evidence.” That’s the sad thing about rape. When a girl wakes up after a night of drinking, and is hungover, they immediately think they have to take a shower, because they smell like alcohol. So they go and take the shower, before they have even realized that something could have happened to them, and can wash away the evidence. They might be scared to go and get a rape kit because they are just starting to realize what is going on, that they wait too long, and the evidence is gone. It could be scary to have it plastered all over the dorms and things like that, but it might be helpful if there was even a little questionnaire that had a few little questions like “Did you go out last night? Did you get drunk? Do you think you could have been sexually assaulted?” Or something like that. Penn State knows their students drink, they’re not dumb. The RA’s know students drink. They know that rape happens. The first morning I woke up after the rape, it didn’t start coming to me that what had happened to me was rape, until I really started to think about it. When you wake up and are hungover, you don’t think about that first, you think about washing off the smell of alcohol. When you get your clear bag from welcome week, there is a pamphlet for the Women’s resource center, but it’s very little, and it doesn’t really say what to do if you think you have been raped. There are things on your door that say the safe walk number, what happens if you possess alcohol, and what to do in case of an emergency. Why can’t there be one that says what do to if you feel you may have been sexually assaulted. I think the resources are there, but aren’t public enough. They aren’t thrown at you as much as things such as the consequences of underage drinking.

Was there anything you regretted about your personal situation, and is there anything you would recommend for anyone who has that situation?

Definitely report it. Even if you don’t want to press charges, still report it. Also, don’t be afraid to talk about it with people you are friends with. There are bound to be people in one of your classes, people who live on your floor, who have either been raped themselves, or know of people who have been raped. Don’t be afraid to reach you because you think that no one else has experienced your situation. The statistics are high. There are people in your situation. There are about 45 people who live on a floor at a typical Penn State dorm. That means that 9 people have been raped, or will be raped. It may not be sexual intercourse rape, it can be penetration in any way. It can be that he didn’t even use his own body, he could have used something else, it’s still rape. Reach out to people. Sometimes it’s hard to reach out to adults, reach out to people on your floor. If there is someone you feel comfortable talking to, but you aren’t sure how they will react, sit them down with another person there, and just talk about it. There are people who have been through the same thing you have. There are resources you can use, and I know it is scary for you to talk to people at first, because you think people won’t believe you. But, especially at a big university like Penn State, people know that people do get sexually assaulted. We have such a big student body that it’s bound to happen. There are about 40,000 students. That means that 8,000 women have been raped at some point in their college career here. It’s crazy. That’s 2,000 people in our freshmen class.

If you ever are in the situation where you are sexually assaulted, or even think that you may have been, don’t be afraid to get checked out. Here is the link for the Women’s Resource Clinic (http://ccwrc.org ) and the Pregnancy Resource Clinic (http://www.scprc.com). I know the Pregnancy Resource Clinic provides free STD testing, and I believe the Women’s Resource Clinic has some resources specifically for Rape victims. Know your rights as a Penn State Student, and as a human being. Keep informed with the privileges that you have, and the resources available to you.

So this next post is going to be a little different than my usual posts. Normally, I would post a picture and introduce a person who is attending Penn State. However, this week, I am going to introduce someone from another University. This girl was a friend of mine in high school, and she contacted me because she wants her story to be spread. I won’t tell you her name because of the touchy topic introduced, but I will refer to her as I. Smith.

If you read my last post, you will remember that the Willard Preacher told me that there is no Rape culture at Penn State. In fact, based on his comments, I think he would argue there is no such thing as a rape culture. However I believe this story will show part of the reason why people believe there are rape cultures around university campuses.

I. Smith was attending Westminster College. For those of you who have never heard of it before, this is a Presbyterian college located in New Wilmington PA, and it is a liberal arts college. It is a smaller school, with a 12:1 student to teacher ratio. By reading this statistic, you would assume a student who goes here would have many employees who are connected to them.

On September 20th, I. Smith believes she was drugged and raped. She went to the hospital, and had a rape kit done. Injuries were found on her genital regions, and she had a bruise on her right bicep, which the nurse told her looked like a bite mark. I. Smith left the school after the incident, and returned home. It has been 18 days since she left, and yet not one single school official has contacted her with any sort of condolences or kind words. Even at this religiously affiliated school, her counselor did not contact her telling her she was at least keeping her in her prayers.

The only correspondence I. Smith has received from Westminster has been e-mails that remind her to tell her professors she won’t be in class, to coordinate with them to get her work so she can continue to work from home, and a reminder that if she returns to the school it will be very hard to get back on track. At a school with a 12:1 student ratio, I would expect a person to get e-mails wondering how she is, especially if there was an alleged rape. Her room was on lock down by the police and had tape all over the door, so the university must have known about it. If the university is going to take money in the form of tuition from a student, they should at least have the courtesy to inquire as to a person’s health after an alleged rape, and try to figure out what happened. The fact that this college did not do so, shows that a rape culture is indeed evident in our society. The fact that none of the professors contacted her, shows that a rape culture is evident in our society. The fact that the school counselor contacted her only to remind her to tell her professors she wouldn’t be in class, and didn’t ask her if she was okay, shows that a rape culture is evident in our society.

When her counselor e-mailed her about an appointment they had schedule that I. Smith missed because she had gone home, she first of all asked “Did you get your medication situation taken care of?” Instead of acknowledging that I. Smith was in the hospital due to the alleged rape, she makes it seem like I. Smith is taking this too far. It seems like she is insinuating that I. Smith is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, which is really rude and inconsiderate. I. Smith told her that she had been raped and that she went home because of it. And yet, the counselor did not respond. I. Smith’s mother told the counselor as well, and yet there has been not a single word of condolences. The only person who is taking this alleged rape seriously, is Chief of police Carmen D. Piccirillo. He stayed in the hospital with I. Smith after her rape test until her mother arrived to pick her up, and has been investigating the allegation.