Hello and welcome! This is not going to be a typical self-improvement blog post. Instead, I want to discuss the topic of perfectionism and how it can be harmful. As my first blog post, I thought it would be important to discuss perfectionism, striving for it, and how to accept that being perfect isn’t attainable. While many people conflate perfectionism with positive attributes such as ambition, and having high standards, perfectionism has extremely negative impacts on productivity and leaves most people in a perpetual state of frustration and self-inflicted turmoil. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist myself, it’s a harsh way to be productive and can be detrimental to self-esteem.
Striving for perfection is harmful for a lot of reasons; for one you tend to lose value in yourself when you inevitably fall short at something (like most humans do). One of the hardest things to do sometimes is accepting that not everything in life will be perfect. Many people spend their entire lives trying to achieve perfection or what they perceive to be perfection. In some cases, they often expect perfection from others which is an impossible challenge thus facilitating a toxic cycle. To truly grasp and understand perfectionism, just look to literature and the fabulous minds that impacted the world. I for one have read many books involving the pursuit of perfection in a variety of ways. A quote from an awe-inspiring memoir, Edith Eger’s “The Choice” has really spoken to me over the years. “Perfectionism is the belief that something is broken — you. So you dress up your brokenness with degrees, achievements, accolades, pieces of paper, none of which can fix what you think you are fixing.” Perfectionism is something that has long shaped how we as people approach accomplishments and try to meet goals. Every human has an innate desire for excellence but it’s key to understand the difference between healthy motivation and self-destructive tendencies. When you indeed pursue perfection, it’s vital to actually learn from your experiences.
Research however suggests perfectionists are intensely self-critical and not willing to take risks for fear of failure and are progressively being viewed as unhealthy and debilitating. Perfectionism is often tied to depression, anxiety, and many other mental health disorders. Thomas Curran’s research shows that perfectionism is rising among young people at a dangerous rate. He also goes into detail about “socially prescribed perfectionism,” or the need to be deemed perfect for others to value you. To be clear I am not saying perfectionism is all bad, in fact striving for it can have a significant impact on your life in beneficial ways. For instance, it has allowed many influential figures to reach millions of people through online platforms, become inspirational leaders, gather the attention of the masses, and foster a strong work ethic. Some individuals might even succeed past those who hold themselves to a lower standard. However, you must remember your journey is not to strive for the unattainable and that failures are not just acceptable but inevitable. Wanting to be perfect is unrealistic and you can only better yourself, not perfect yourself. As imperfect people, we should strive to learn from failure and utilize our knowledge gained from it.
sources: https://hbr.org/2018/01/perfectionism-is-increasing-and-thats-not-good-news
sources: https://www.thomcurran.com/
The Choice: Embrace the Possible
https://hbr.org/2019/04/how-to-manage-your-perfectionism
Hi, Alyssa! I really loved how you acknowledged the harm that perfectionism can inflict upon someone. Especially in college (and in an honors course), when we are striving to maintain the highest grades possible, we can lose sight of what is really important—taking care of ourselves. I would say that I was a bit of a perfectionist throughout high school; however, I am now starting to realize the truth of some of the points you made in your post. I especially resonate with how you mentioned that perfectionists often expect others to maintain the same degree of perfectionism, when in reality, this is not possible. I also agree with how you said that perfectionists are self-critical—we always think that we can be doing better. However, I like the duality of perfectionism that you concluded your post with—that although it is harmful, the motivation to achieve success that comes with perfectionism can be beneficial. But, as you noted, we must always remember that life not being perfect is what makes it so beautiful.
I really liked what your blog post talked about, especially the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionists. The visual that you included was great and really helps the reader understand the difference. You also did a good job relating it to yourself, building ethos with the reader so they take in what you are saying more. The only comment that I would have would be to talk more about healthy perfectionists, and how a person can do that and benefit from it. Other than that it is great.
Hey, Alyssa, I liked the diagram you used to show how we can still be somewhat of a perfectionist but not to the point where we start to break down. I agree that people take perfectionism too seriously. When people say, ‘practice makes perfect,’ I always want them to say that failing at practice will make you somewhat perfect. I will say that what if people are too sacred to be perfect and try less because of this fear? Is the fear of being perfect holding others back?
I really enjoyed reading your blog post. Like many others and yourself, I have been guilty of self-proclaiming myself as a perfectionist and at a very young age. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was going to put a toll on the way I go about everyday life and schoolwork. Now that I see the negative impacts, I’m slowly growing out of the slump that I’ve been in due to the realization that having a perfectionist mindset wasn’t benefiting me and I’m getting a better viewpoint on how great it is to grow and how amazing it is to fail and get back up.
This blog post was so refreshing to read- it reminded me that no one is perfect and it is ok to have flaws. From a young age, I would bash myself over little things ranging from grades, social life, and appearance. I really loved your point about how being perfect is not attainable by any means- rather what can be achieved is working on bettering myself as a person.