How to Properly Word A Complaint to Your Friend or Partner
Hello! This semester, I have been taking CAS203-H with Professor Worley. A few weeks ago, I read an entire chapter about conflict and how best to handle it in our relationships. I think that the tip that I am about to share if vital for handling conflict with those you love, so as to not offend them and to not escalate things.
When communicating a complaint you have, you should use as many ‘I’ statements as possible. It shifts the blame from them a bit, showing that you know that it could just be your own, unique interpretation of things.
Here is a construction of the best way to engage in confrontation:
“I feel ___ when you ___. I would like for you to ___ so that I feel ___.”
This is not a cookie-cutter phrase, it can vary depending on the situation! However, it is a healthy blueprint to have when approaching conflict. What is especially crucial is the latter half of the phrase, mentioning a realistic way of how their behavior could change and how it would make you feel better. It shows to both conflict partners involved that a resolution is attainable.
I hope that this helps! Good luck in your relational conflict – remember, it is perfectly normal as long as it is helpful and productive! It is all about how you manage it, not necessarily about how often it happens!
Have a great day. 🙂