A Guide to Self-Reflection

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This I Believe (DRAFT)

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The main goal of this essay is this I believe you cannot love someone else until you love yourself

As children, we were always taught to help one another, share, and put others’ needs before our own. On the surface those seem like wonderful messages, teachers and parents want to teach children to be kind, selfless, and loving. However, people forget to teach children to love and respect themselves. By failing to do that, we destroy them.

The 8th grade is a crucial year for mental growth. Young teens who are 13-14 are beginning to develop and mature. The events that happen during such a vulnerable time in someone’s development stick with them for a long time. I had a friend, a best friend. We’ll call their name Alex to allow for the continuity of the story without revealing their identity. Alex was an outcast of sorts. They had a falling out with the majority of kids in my class. Sure Alex had a few friends, but they spent most of their time at school trying to avoid other people. Even though Alex was an extrovert! One day at lunch I decided to pay more attention to Alex and spark up a conversation with them and we clicked instantly. We bonded over movies, games, common interests and we continue to spend lunch together for weeks. Eventually, we began texting and facetime each other almost every night. I found it hard to see why nobody liked them, they were so friendly and genuinely loved me. Alex comforted me when I wasn’t feeling myself when I was crying over my family issues when I was insecure. They helped me through all of that. Sounds nice right? Yeah… it was nice. 

The thing about friendships and relationships is it’s hard to balance being independent while being with another person. Getting a good mix of quality time with the person you love and time with yourself is extremely important. Sadly, nobody told me that last part. Alex was an outcast for a reason, they had serious mental health issues. I knew Alex was going through a rough time…cutting himself…having suicidal thoughts. Alex would tell me about their difficult times they had, as one friend should. Alex was there for me I HAD to be there for Alex. Alex would tell me a tragic story about their past and then say, ”I’m shocked you didn’t cry, most people cry when I tell them that story.” Or if Alex was feeling down and I asked why they weren’t better, they might answer with “No offense, you’re not the best at comforting me.” Those made me feel a little uneasy, having to carry the crosses that Alex was burdened with. But that’s what relationships are all about, right! Worst of all, Alex always said “everybody leaves me” as if I had already left them. Loving another person is about being there for them and making sure they’re okay. It was my job to be there for Alex. Even if that meant staying up on the phone until 5 am while Alex had angry and scary panic attacks where they would throw things that made me worried they’d hurt someone. Being that close to someone who’s mentally ill… takes a toll on you sometimes. 

Alex and I had a fight… a few of them actually. Eventually, I distanced myself from them completely and found a new friend to pour my heart into. One day I get a phone call from a strange number and for some reason, I had an uneasy feeling that I should answer. It was Alex… they were in the mental hospital again. I was Alex’s one phone call in the hospital. Of course, he had already seen his parents and siblings after dropping them off, but after them, it was me. On that phone call, I told them it was best if we weren’t friends. That I cared and appreciated them, that I wanted them to be happy, and that I couldn’t make them happy. I could hear the crack in Alex’s voice from holding back the tears. I wanted to distance myself from Alex while they were still in the hospital so they could heal. If had waited until after… maybe Alex would have to start healing all over again. I cried and cried for days. I was so worried about Alex. I couldn’t help but feel guilty… but it was for the best. 

As children, we were always taught to help one another, share, and put others’ needs before our own. But people forget to teach children to love and respect themselves. Teach them it is ok to say no if they feel uncomfortable, teach them to share toys… not share pain… Teach them to love one another, but to save some love for themselves back.

On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character Reflection

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Writing in the first person about events that occurred in your life takes a lot of self-reflection. As stated in the reading, you must be able to “see yourself from the ceiling” Think about what your friends and family think about you, analyze what you project onto the world. Stay true to yourself, you are still you. Take the quirks and “flaws” you have and implement them into your character. The purpose of your character is to entertain the reader, not to justify your ego. Your character shouldn’t be perfect, it should be you. Really think about your identity… What is most important to you? What values do you hold? Why do you do the things that you do? What are some critiques or imperfections? Using these in your writing without explicitly saying them will make your first-person essay interesting to read.

When turning oneself into a character, actions speak louder than words. The reader would be bored if you simply stated your name, age, hometown, etc. It is important to remember what characters are like in novels we read. We learn more and more about the character every few pages, leaving the reader to keep reading so that they can learn more. It is tempting to introduce ourselves first, but it is important not to give everything away at once. Think about the novels you read, it often takes the entire first chapter just to find out the protagonist’s name and gender. You don’t want to say “I’m so weird,” you want to show the reader you’re weird.

When writing a memoir, gender, ethnicity, social class, political affiliation are all important to identify in order to create your character. Your past experiences are important as well. These things set you apart from other characters. However, you cannot rely on them to create your entire personality. In your writing answer a few questions… How do these characteristics impact me? How do they affect my actions and beliefs? Which characteristics are crucial to the story?

The most important advice I took from the reading is that even though you should stay true to your flaws, quirks, strength, and identity, you are a character, not a person. The reader doesn’t need to know everything that doesn’t pertain to the story. Your character exists to entertain the reader, it is okay to deviate from reality a bit. The character is inspired by you, but sometimes the movie doesn’t perfectly match the book.

Filed Under: RCL

Civic Issues and This I Believe

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(I had SO MUCH to write about my passion blog ideas I made it a completely separate post)

Civic Issues

For my Civic Issues Blog, I would definitely like to write about pollution and climate change. I’m very passionate about our environment and our responsibility as humans to take care of our home. I research global warming a lot in my free time, I believe it is important because if we destroy the home we have we won’t be able to deal with all the other political issues. If I cannot write about “Ecosystems, Access, and Pollution,” my second choice would be social media and technology. I definitely want to write about something STEM-related.

This I Believe 

This I Believe… you cannot love anyone else until you love and respect yourself. I think that this is a topic I can expand on past romantic love but with all relationships. You must learn to love and respect yourself to truly know the support you need from others. I especially love the analogy of yourself as an ecosystem. You have to protect your little ecosystem, and if someone is polluting it, you should communicate with them they are causing harm. If they find excuses, blame you or others, they shouldn’t be part of your ecosystem. If they apologize and ask to help fix your ecosystem, they are welcome to stay. You are NOT responsible for anyone’s happiness. Even if they’re your friend or family sometimes they need greater help you just cannot provide. You should certainly offer love and support, but you cannot fix everyone’s issues.

 

Filed Under: RCL

Passion Blog Ideas Spring 2021

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Hello RCL Classmates! I’m excited to get to know everyone I don’t already know this semester.

I started my Pop-Culture Blog last semester fall 2020. This blog is a guide to self-reflection, using simple everyday pop culture topics to discover one’s individuality. It is designed to help you think about what is important to you, what you value most in life, how you view yourself, and so much more!

Please comment on movies/TV shows/book series you would like to hear from. I would normally do Harry Potter, Star Wars, Marvel, Disney, and Zodiac Signs, but if we have any interests in common I would love to work with those.

If the Pop-Culture Blog is confusing that is completely okay! I have a few more blog ideas to start a new blog.

  1. Self-Reflection through Pop-Culture Blog
  2. A Travel Blog
  3. A Dancer Blog

The Travel Blog will only be places I’ve actually visited pre-covid. My family is from Martinique and I have dual citizenship with France, so I’ve been to Europe and South America a few times.

These places include…

  • Paris, France
  • Normandy France
  • Brussels, Belgium
  • London, England
  • Toronto, Canada
  • Montreal, Canada
  • Lima, Peru
  • The island of Martinique
  • The island of St. Lucia

The Dancer Blog would be the different styles of dance every blog, such as Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Kick-line, Contemporary, Pointe, Zumba. Anything and everything to do with dance. Maybe the history of each style, how it began, and how it evolved to today.

 

Leave comments about which Blog you would like to read and which movies/TV shows/book series you would like me to incorporate 🙂

Ted Talk Reflection & Brainstorm

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TED Talk Reflection

I found this assignment much more difficult than the rhetorical analysis speech. Rhetorical analysis is a subject I have been studying since high school, and I am sure a lot of peers can relate. Since I am more familiar and practiced with rhetorical analysis, it went a lot smoother than the paradigm shift TED Talk. I had never heard of a paradigm shift until class, and although it was fascinating it was difficult to wrap my head around. I felt that my speech was well organized, however, it was much more complex than my rhetorical analysis speech. It was also longer, and I looked down at my paper for reference of data and quick facts quite frequently. It went very well, but there is a lot more I need to improve on. 

 

Ideas for A History of a Public Controversy Public

For our history of a controversy, I have a few ideas. We could do something modern but, I think something historical would be a lot more interesting. The war of Vietnam is a great topic, it was very controversial and the first time war was advertised and judged by the public. Whether or not we had business fighting in Vietnam is still a controversial topic that is talked about today. Another historical controversy is the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The loss of innocent lives to end a war is a huge controversy. The death penalty is a modern controversy that would also make a fascinating topic. Privacy rights are also a big modern controversy I would be interested in doing. 

Filed Under: RCL

The Zodiac Signs

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Hello RCL Classmates! I have returned to an all-time favorite topic of mine. This blog (((as usual))) is a guide to self-reflection, using simple everyday pop culture topics to discover one’s individuality. It is designed to help you think about what is important to you, what you value most in life, how you view yourself, and so much more!

We’ve talked about zodiac signs before, however, I realized not everybody is familiar with them.

There are a lot of lengthy descriptions of the zodiac signs on the internet that are nice but too long to read, and there are short descriptions I find highly inaccurate. So by taking every person I know in my life of each sign and seeing what traits they have in common, here is a short description of every sign of the zodiac- just for fun 🙂

 

Constellations and the Zodiac | LoveToKnow

Aries- (the ram) fire sign, the leaders/pioneers, adventurous, can be impatient, very smart, very loving, often misunderstood, childlike, has a temper and/or has temper tantrums 

 

Taurus- (the bull) earth sign, very “down to earth” grounded- like a bull, likes stability and does not do too well with change, food, very home-oriented, stubborn very stubborn and likes to feel safe and secure, practical, 

 

Gemini- (the twins) air sign, very social, outgoing, talkative, loving, a bit all over the place, smart, indecisive/often conflicted and can’t make up their minds-like twins,

 

Cancer- (the crab) water sign, crabby outside, soft inside. Moody and emotional, have a hard outer shell (so either closed off and hides their emotions or crabby/pinchy on the outside) stereotypically cries a lot, the most loving, compassionate, and caring, generous, faithful, kind, likes the cozy indoors

 

Leo-  (the lion) fire sign, the most reserved of the fire signs but none the less is confident, outgoing, determined, strong opinions, loyalty, consistency, think like a lion, they think everything’s ab them 

 

Virgo- (the virgin) earth sign, reserved, super down to earth, observant, logical, funny, honest, skeptical, seems put together all the time but really isn’t, organized, smart

 

Libra (the scale) air sign, seeks justice and fairness, sees both sides of the story, is outgoing and social, loves having friends, very loving, diplomatic and keep it real, energy

 

Scorpio- (scorpion) water sign, somewhat dark, the sign of sex and death so take that as you will, intense, emotional, intelligent, secretive, ambitious, loyal, competitive, passionate 

 

Sagittarius- (archer) fire sign, impulsive, charismatic, straightforward, independent, (sometimes seem closed off by their independent-ness), charming, bold, clever

 

Capricorn- (goat) earth sign, work-oriented, focused, ambitious, honest, charismatic, willful, resourceful, does not allow their emotions to stand in the way of their goals

 

Aquarius- (water bearer) air sign, determined, ambitious, intelligent, philosophical, curious, detached, witty, humanistic, friendly, good debaters, persistent

 

Pisces- (fish) water sign, emotional, the dreamers, artistic, caring, imaginative, romantic, sweetest if you’re on good terms but ruthless if you are not 

 

The Story of Wonder Woman

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Good morning RCL classmates and welcome back to my passion blog! 

This blog is a guide to self-reflection, using simple everyday pop culture topics to discover one’s individuality. It is designed to help you think about what is important to you, what you value most in life, how you view yourself, and so much more!  Today I encourage you to think about your favorite role model in pop culture, and why you look up to them. 

What Is Wonder Woman 1984 About, New Trailer DC Fandome

I’m really enjoying this girl-power theme so I’m sticking to it. We all have role models we look up to, today I will be talking about my favorite (and objectively the best ) 😉 female superhero: Wonder Woman. 

Wonder Woman is unlike any other hero. She is not an alien, like Superman or a billionaire like Batman: she is a Greek goddess with godlike powers, an Amazonian warrior, and the epitome of emancipated femininity. She is an incredibly skilled fighter, a born leader, and has a brilliant mind. Although she is a force to be reckoned with, Wonder Woman is graceful and elegant in every moment whether in conversation or combat. 

Wonder Woman tells the tale of Princess Diana of Themyscira. She is a representation of the Greek goddess Artemis (or Roman goddess Diana), the leader of the Amazons. 

Diana is the daughter of Hippolyta, was the queen of the Amazons (a utopian society of women warriors founded on sisterhood and female empowerment). Her origin story says she was formed out of clay by her mother, Hippolyta, and had life bestowed upon her by the Greek God Zeus.

The mission of the Amazonians is to one day defeat Ares, the god of war, and bring peace. Princess Diana was created as a gift in order to bring peace and prosperity to humanity. This is why Diana is conflicted between wanting to bring peace and the necessity to fight back against those causing destruction. She was created to finally defeat the god Ares in the name of the Amazons. 

Wonder Woman Spin-Off May Be in Development at WB /Film

As a woman created by Zeus, she is imbued with the superhuman qualities often associated with Greek gods. Wonder Woman’s powers and abilities include:

  • omnilingualism (she can speak the language of any person she encounters)
  • superhuman strength and durability (both assets during big battles)
  • the power of flight, superhuman speed, reflexes, and agility
  • enhanced senses (including smell, vision, and hearing)
  • a magic lasso that forces her enemies to tell the truth and reveal their secrets and has her famous bulletproof bracelets

Wonder Woman’s ability to fight with purpose, dignity, and grace is what makes her such an incredible role model. She is strong, beautiful, intelligent, and invested in being a force of positive change. Princess Diana is the woman I inspire to be. 

 

Lessons Learned from the MCU Universe 

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Hello RCL Classmates, and welcome back to my passion blog! Today, I will be reviewing some of the lessons I’ve learned from the Avengers, or more broadly, the MCU Universe. 

Black Widow and Captain America | Avengers, New avengers, Marvel films

There’s no shame in needing help /You are never alone

Too often superheroes assume they are all-powerful and don’t need anybody to save them, which is quite the contrary. In Endgame half the population is eliminated and those who are left have to live with the grief. The Avengers completely split up and isolate themselves, none of them, especially Natasha, can bear to lean on anyone. Even Captain America, who constantly tells everyone they are not alone, isolates himself. 

10 Best Scenes From Comic Book Movies – The Nerdd

Teamwork makes the dreamwork

This one makes sense, we are taught at a young age not to fight with one another and work together instead. Yet, throughout the MCU there is always a character or two or sometimes all of them think they can stop the threat all on their own. It is important to realize that at the end of EVERY movie there is an epic fight scene where everybody teams up to defeat the villain. 

Nebula and Gamora From Guardians of the Galaxy | 38 Perfect Pop Culture Halloween Costumes For Sisters | POPSUGAR Entertainment Photo 5

The past doesn’t dictate your future/ Surviving abuse

Nebula was one of the new and more recent characters of the MCU universe, and adding her story to the plot of endgame was one of the best parts of the movie. Gamora and Nebula were sisters, pinned against each other since childhood, and constantly set to be competing with each other. Surviving abuse is not always spoken about, and it was brave of the MCU for tackling such a serious and important topic. Nebula was heavily abused by her father Thanos for not being “good enough” compared to her sister Gamora. In the end, we see that Gamora and Nebula are happier and more powerful together. 

Loki Laufeyson & Bucky Barnes & Joker - Heathens x Sucker For Pain - YouTube

Making bad decisions doesn’t make you a bad person

There is a reason why Bucky and Loki are such popular characters. They are relatable in the sense that they are so gone they never think they are worth redeeming. After Loki is the threat in countless Avengers movies, his brother Thor is still willing to fight for his redemption with his life on the line. Although Loki has made more bad mistakes than anyone could count, Thor knows there’s still a neglected child in there who just needs to be appreciated. Captain America also risks his life numerous times to save Bucky, his best friend from childhood who went down a seriously dark path. Even if Bucky did join Cap, he was afraid that with his demons, battle scars, PTSD, and all the trauma that comes with it, he would not be able to assimilate into his life. The MCU teaches us here that anyone can become a hero, and Bucky is an Avenger for Endgame. 

The Stigma of Mental Illness

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For my RCL TED Talk and Speech, I began researching the paradigm shift of the stigma of mental health. Upon my research, I found that this has been a slow, gradual shift in “social norm” without one event at the forefront. I also found that the paradigm shift is still going on today. While there has clearly been a great shift in how the public views mental health, there is still a stigma against people with mental illness, even though it is more accepted in today’s society. 

https://publicsquaremag.org/editorials/is-it-time-for-a-paradigm-shift-in-mental-health/ 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7348454/ 

These sources call for a paradigm shift in the treatment of mental health… and the results show some scary statistics. The article states,  “…a New York Times analysis of data from 2018 found a tripling of the rate of people taking antidepressant medication for at least five years since 2000.” Although there has been much more treatment of mental health over the years, people are still suffering. These treatments also often last a lifetime, leading to 20+ years on antidepressants. 

 

https://www.hannover-re.com/1569050/recent-medical-news-mental-health-a-slow-paradigm-shift-in-stigma-diagnostics-and-treatment-2020.pdf In this source from insurance company Hannover Re, doctors write about the paradigm shift of the stigma behind mental health. There is also a call for a paradigm shift in the treatment of mental health. Even though the public has grown to be more excepting of mental illness, suicide rates are still climbing every year. This could be because doctors are repeating the same forms of treatment, and they are not working. 

 

https://www.ellewellstudio.com/2017/12/21/paradigm-shift-mental-health/ A trained profession speaks about the stigma of mental health. As a therapist themselves, they are able to provide reliable information involving therapy. 

 

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