miles27gender – Accidents in Archaeology

Final Post: Beyond the Binary

Over the course of this civic issues blog, I have done my best to introduce to you and explain the gender spectrum and impart the knowledge that gender is not a binary system and there is so much more than male and female. I have tried to make you aware of some of the struggles that nonbinary and non-cisgender individuals face on a daily basis. I have explained that a gender spectrum has important implications for the orientation spectrum as well.

Now, at the end of Beyond the Binary, I’d like to reiterate the most important points that I hope you take away from your experience reading this blog:

Gender identity is not a choice.
Gender identity is not constricted to a binary system of male and female.
Romantic orientation and sexual orientation also fall along a spectrum, as there are more than just two genders to which a person could feel attraction.
Nonbinary, trans*, and non-straight individuals face extreme prejudice, discrimination, abuse, and fear in their everyday lives.

There are also many things that I would have liked to write full posts about, but sadly there wasn’t enough time. So, at this point, I’ll leave you with little blurbs of things that I would also like readers of this blog to be aware of, and hopefully you’ll be interested enough to look into them for yourself! (link to a great blog that talks about some of these issues: whatdoesenbymean)

Now that issues of heteronormativity and gay rights have become more popular in the media, television shows have started to replace the trope of a token nonwhite character with that of a token gay character.
There is a huge difference between “gender” and “sex,” and these terms are not interchangeable. “Sex” refers to a person’s biological organs and “gender” refers to a person’s innate identity. Also, biological sex itself can fall on a spectrum. Different chromosomal combinations lead to people being born with combinations of reproductive organs associated with both “male” and “female,” so even biological sex can’t be considered a binary system.

Intersex – (noun) someone whose combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. In the medical care of infants the initialism DSD (“Differing/Disorders of Sex Development”). Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now considered outdated and derogatory.

The issue of LGBT+ rights was not solved with the legalization of same-sex marriage. We still have a long way to go in terms of recognizing the minorities in the LGBT+ community and establishing equal rights and equal respect for all people. The “big progress” of legalizing same-sex marriage is really just a small step in the big picture. Also: it’s not the legalization of “gay marriage,” it’s the legalization of “same-sex marriage.” Just because the people getting married are the same gender does not mean that either or both of them are gay.
We do have some good news! Some toy stores have started making efforts to remove gendered labels on their toys to allow all children to play with whatever toy they want.
And perhaps the issue I would have most liked to make a full post about: pronouns. Learn them, ask for them, respect them, use them. It doesn’t matter if it’s hard for you to ask or if it’s hard for you to remember. Make the effort. Don’t misgender someone because you don’t want to use their pronouns. Look at it from their point of view, and imagine what it’s like to go every single day of your life being referred to as something you’re not.

Above all: be respectful and, as cliché as it is, treat others how you would like to be treated. Accept people for their differences and accept them for who they are.

Because they can’t change.

The Stereotype About Nonbinary Identification

This week we get to the hard-hitting, makes-you-uncomfortable-that-people-think-that-way kind of stuff: how people who are nonbinary are perceived by people who don’t know much about the topic or don’t bother to learn more about the topic once they’ve established their opinion. The viewpoint of these people is probably one of the most confounding, ungrounded views I’ve ever come across: they think that people who are nonbinary or trans* along the male/female binary are simply labeling themselves as such to gain attention.

I’m going to try to keep this neutral.

First things first, I would like to reiterate what I’ve said in previous posts: gender identity and orientation are not a conscious decision, they are not a choice, and if they fluctuate it is never on purpose.

This fact is the first point that conflicts with the popular stereotype. The idea that people deviate from the so-called “gender norm” on purpose is completely false. No one can choose their gender identity, and the repercussions and consequences that come with identifying as a gender that falls outside the binary male/female are too great to face on a whim. As much as I wish it were different, a person’s gender still largely dictates how they can act, what they can wear, and what they can do in today’s society without being ostracized. When a person figures out that they do not identify with the publicly accepted male/female system, they have to deal with the fact that clothes, behaviorisms, and even body language that are accepted and categorized by the majority are no longer completely applicable to them. Suddenly, they are faced with finding a mix or a happy medium or some combination of whatever makes them feel most natural and most like their outside reflects their inside, and most of the time the end result falls outside of societal “norms.” No one would choose to go through this experience.

The second point that conflicts with the stereotype is the fact that the majority of society is still largely unaware of or very prejudiced against a nonbinary gender spectrum. A lot of people today still attack, both verbally and physically, that which does not conform to their idea of what is acceptable. The majority of people who identify as nonbinary have experienced verbal and physical abuse, and this happens even without a formal statement from their person establishing their identity. They also have to face purposeful misgendering when people knowingly or unknowingly use the incorrect pronouns, or even worse: use “it.”

Even if a person who is nonbinary chooses not to identify themselves to others—which is a valid decision—many times their outward behavior or appearance still singles them out as different, and people attack. People have been beaten; harassed; assaulted verbally, physically, and sexually; denied medical care; raped; murdered; and even driven to suicide.

And now I ask you: who would voluntarily choose to go through that?

Identifying as nonbinary is not a cry for attention. It is not a choice. It is not always something that a person wants to do and they may deny it their whole life.

When a person publicly identifies as nonbinary, accept it for what it is: the truth. And when they do, support them and educate yourself so that hopefully their public transition may be easier than so many of the others who tried and have since lost their lives.

(lgbthealthwellness.files.wordpress.com)

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_towards_non-binary_gender_persons
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Research
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_nonbinary_gender_people#Nonbinary_erasure
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelsie-brynn-jones/when-being-trans-is-not-t_b_6340728.html

Broaden Your Horizons – The Romantic and Sexual Orientation Spectrums

In recognizing that a nonbinary gender spectrum exists, we must also recognize that the spectrums for romantic and sexual attraction are nonbinary as well. This means that, contrary to common belief, there are more orientations than just straight, gay, and bi. Also, it is incredibly important to note that a person’s romantic and sexual orientations do not have to match; a person can feel romantic attraction towards one gender/many genders and feel sexual attraction to a different gender/other genders.

Another important note, and this one gets its own paragraph, is that romantic and sexual orientation (just like gender) are flexible and may not stay the same for a person’s whole life. At any point, a person has the right to change the term they use to identify their orientation. Also, people do NOT have to pick a label for their orientation at all and do NOT have to justify their decision not to label themselves to anyone. If they feel that none of the currently existing labels fit their orientation, or if they do not want to put their orientation under the limitations of a label, they do not have to pick a label. Also, sexual behaviors do not necessarily have to match a person’s sexual orientation. For example, a straight man can still have sex with men.

Also in its own paragraph: while choosing a label is a conscious decision, romantic and sexual orientation ARE NOT a conscious decision, and neither is gender identity. Orientation and identity are innate traits that people are born with.

image source: http://acepositive.tumblr.com/

At this point I would like to describe, to the best of my ability and knowledge, some of the current labels for orientations. This list is not comprehensive as gender and orientation are constantly fluctuating and people may not fall under the common labels that exist today. Also, people may choose slightly different definitions for what they feel the labels mean to them. The labels I will talk about apply to both romantic and sexual orientation, and they are formed by a certain prefix and then either the suffix -romantic or -sexual (for example, aromantic or asexual).

Hetero: attraction to a member of the opposite gender/sex

Homo: attraction to a member of the same gender/sex

Bi: attraction to two genders/sexes

Poly: attraction to multiple, but not all genders/sexes

Pan: can be described in two ways:
- Experience attraction towards members of all genders/sexes
- Gender/sex does not factor into whether a person feels attraction to another person

A: not experiencing attraction towards any gender/sex (aromantic is abbreviated “aro” and asexual is abbreviated “ace”)
- Gray-a: under certain circumstances, such as a specific person or situation or after a certain period of time, a person may feel some attraction

Demi: before a person feels attraction, an strong bond must be established first (demiromantic: establish friendship before feeling romantic attraction; demisexual: establish romantic feelings before feeling sexual attraction)

Sapio: attraction is established based on recognition of intelligence in the other person (intelligence is the most attractive factor)

Andro: attraction towards men/males/masculinity

Gyne: attraction towards women/females/femininity

Skolio: attraction towards genderqueer and trans* people and expressions, i.e. people who don’t identify as cisgender

Also, another label exists called “polyamorous” which means that an individual may feel attraction to more than one person at the same time. A polyamorous relationship consists of more than two people, and every individual in the relationship feels an equal amount of attraction towards each member of the relationship. The arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship is called a constellation.

Source: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/

Apparently, You Can’t Just Go When You Gotta Go

One of the most basic issues—and on of the most basic needs, really—faced by people who don’t fit the binary standard is finding a bathroom. And despite how simple and non-problematic it sounds, this issue has only recently started to see solutions emerge. The majority of the population may not even be aware that it is an issue. Granted, the majority of the population may not be aware of gender identities beyond the binary system; people who are transgender only started gaining recognition within the last couple decades, and even now many people claim that people who are transgender are just “looking for attention.”

Until very recently, people who are not cisgender have had to either go by word of mouth to find establishments with bathrooms that don’t restrict consumers to “male” and “female.” Their only options were to use the family bathroom or use one of the binary bathrooms that most matched their physical appearance based on the gender stereotypes of their society. For the people who are transgender males or females, or genderfluid on a spectrum that includes male and/or female, they may not have the physical traits of the gender they are. This means that in order to escape ridicule, verbal and even physical assault, or requests to leave the establishment, they have to use a bathroom that does not match their gender. For people with genders not including male or female, they never have the option of using a bathroom labelled to their identity.

This is especially terrifying for children and teens in school, where officials deny any reason to have nonbinary bathrooms or consider it a threat to safety because they don’t trust students of multiple genders to use the same bathroom. Some colleges have established gender neutral dorms in which room assignments are not allocated by gender and the bathrooms on the floor are not labelled, but sadly, this is not the norm.

Many times, there have been locations where state or city governments tried to pass laws that would establish gender neutral bathrooms or prevent discrimination in public bathrooms, but anti-equal-rights activists employed scare tactics to get the public to vote against the law. They claim that such laws would declare open season for rape and sexual assault. Some states have even tried to enact bills that would prevent people from using the bathroom that matches their identity, once again claiming it would protect against sexual predators. The problem with these scare tactics?

There have been no cases of sexual assault by a transgender person using the bathroom that matches their gender identity. There aren’t even any cases of someone “pretending to be transgender” entering the “incorrect” bathroom and assaulting someone. Rather, 70% of people who are transgender have reported being denied access to, harassed, or assaulted in a bathroom. As an interesting counterpoint, there has been a U.S. Senator arrested for sexual misconduct in a bathroom (way to go, Larry Craig). Some states have successfully passed laws or bills establishing gender neutral bathrooms, and none of them have had any issues since they were enacted.

Claims of threats versus reports from states with safe bathrooms. Image Source: http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/03/20/debunking-the-big-myth-about-transgender-inclus/198530 — Claims of threats versus reports from states with safe bathrooms. Image Source: http://mediamatters.org/

For the locations without safe bathrooms, several organizations have taken it upon themselves to connect non-cisgender persons with establishments that have neutral bathrooms. Two of these organizations have created websites, called REFUGE Restrooms and Safe2Pee, that will help people either travelling to new places or unaware of safe bathrooms in their own community.

Sources:

http://www.refugerestrooms.org/about
https://safe2pee.wordpress.com/bathroom-resources/
http://www.attn.com/stories/4080/transgender-bathroom-panic
http://mic.com/articles/114066/statistics-show-exactly-how-many-times-trans-people-have-attacked-you-in-bathrooms#.fw8sOWmki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig_scandal
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/03/20/debunking-the-big-myth-about-transgender-inclus/198530