Final Post: Beyond the Binary

Over the course of this civic issues blog, I have done my best to introduce to you and explain the gender spectrum and impart the knowledge that gender is not a binary system and there is so much more than male and female. I have tried to make you aware of some of the struggles that nonbinary and non-cisgender individuals face on a daily basis. I have explained that a gender spectrum has important implications for the orientation spectrum as well.

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Now, at the end of Beyond the Binary, I’d like to reiterate the most important points that I hope you take away from your experience reading this blog:

  • Gender identity is not a choice.
  • Gender identity is not constricted to a binary system of male and female.
  • Romantic orientation and sexual orientation also fall along a spectrum, as there are more than just two genders to which a  person could feel attraction.
  • Nonbinary, trans*, and non-straight individuals face extreme prejudice, discrimination, abuse, and fear in their everyday lives.

There are also many things that I would have liked to write full posts about, but sadly there wasn’t enough time. So, at this point, I’ll leave you with little blurbs of things that I would also like readers of this blog to be aware of, and hopefully you’ll be interested enough to look into them for yourself! (link to a great blog that talks about some of these issues: whatdoesenbymean)

  • Now that issues of heteronormativity and gay rights have become more popular in the media, television shows have started to replace the trope of a token nonwhite character with that of a token gay character.
  • There is a huge difference between “gender” and “sex,” and these terms are not interchangeable. “Sex” refers to a person’s biological organs and “gender” refers to a person’s innate identity.  Also, biological sex itself can fall on a spectrum. Different chromosomal combinations lead to people being born with combinations of reproductive organs associated with both “male” and “female,” so even biological sex can’t be considered a binary system.
Intersex – (noun) someone whose combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. In the medical care of infants the initialism DSD (“Differing/Disorders of Sex Development”). Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now considered outdated and derogatory.
Intersex – (noun) someone whose combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. In the medical care of infants the initialism DSD (“Differing/Disorders of Sex Development”). Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now considered outdated and derogatory.
  • The issue of LGBT+ rights was not solved with the legalization of same-sex marriage. We still have a long way to go in terms of recognizing the minorities in the LGBT+ community and establishing equal rights and equal respect for all people. The “big progress” of legalizing same-sex marriage is really just a small step in the big picture. Also: it’s not the legalization of “gay marriage,” it’s the legalization of “same-sex marriage.” Just because the people getting married are the same gender does not mean that either or both of them are gay.
  • We do have some good news! Some toy stores have started making efforts to remove gendered labels on their toys to allow all children to play with whatever toy they want.
  • And perhaps the issue I would have most liked to make a full post about: pronouns. Learn them, ask for them, respect them, use them. It doesn’t matter if it’s hard for you to ask or if it’s hard for you to remember. Make the effort. Don’t misgender someone because you don’t want to use their pronouns. Look at it from their point of view, and imagine what it’s like to go every single day of your life being referred to as something you’re not.

Above all: be respectful and, as cliché as it is, treat others how you would like to be treated. Accept people for their differences and accept them for who they are.

Because they can’t change.

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The Stereotype About Nonbinary Identification

This week we get to the hard-hitting, makes-you-uncomfortable-that-people-think-that-way kind of stuff: how people who are nonbinary are perceived by people who don’t know much about the topic or don’t bother to learn more about the topic once they’ve established their opinion. The viewpoint of these people is probably one of the most confounding, ungrounded views I’ve ever come across: they think that people who are nonbinary or trans* along the male/female binary are simply labeling themselves as such to gain attention.

I’m going to try to keep this neutral.

First things first, I would like to reiterate what I’ve said in previous posts: gender identity and orientation are not a conscious decision, they are not a choice, and if they fluctuate it is never on purpose.

(Melanie Gillman 2014)
(Melanie Gillman 2014)

This fact is the first point that conflicts with the popular stereotype. The idea that people deviate from the so-called “gender norm” on purpose is completely false. No one can choose their gender identity, and the repercussions and consequences that come with identifying as a gender that falls outside the binary male/female are too great to face on a whim. As much as I wish it were different, a person’s gender still largely dictates how they can act, what they can wear, and what they can do in today’s society without being ostracized. When a person figures out that they do not identify with the publicly accepted male/female system, they have to deal with the fact that clothes, behaviorisms, and even body language that are accepted and categorized by the majority are no longer completely applicable to them. Suddenly, they are faced with finding a mix or a happy medium or some combination of whatever makes them feel most natural and most like their outside reflects their inside, and most of the time the end result falls outside of societal “norms.” No one would choose to go through this experience.

The second point that conflicts with the stereotype is the fact that the majority of society is still largely unaware of or very prejudiced against a nonbinary gender spectrum. A lot of people today still attack, both verbally and physically, that which does not conform to their idea of what is acceptable. The majority of people who identify as nonbinary have experienced verbal and physical abuse, and this happens even without a formal statement from their person establishing their identity. They also have to face purposeful misgendering when people knowingly or unknowingly use the incorrect pronouns, or even worse: use “it.”

(debate.org)
(debate.org)

Even if a person who is nonbinary chooses not to identify themselves to others—which is a valid decision—many times their outward behavior or appearance still singles them out as different, and people attack. People have been beaten; harassed; assaulted verbally, physically, and sexually; denied medical care; raped; murdered; and even driven to suicide.

And now I ask you: who would voluntarily choose to go through that?

Identifying as nonbinary is not a cry for attention. It is not a choice. It is not always something that a person wants to do and they may deny it their whole life.

When a person publicly identifies as nonbinary, accept it for what it is: the truth. And when they do, support them and educate yourself so that hopefully their public transition may be easier than so many of the others who tried and have since lost their lives.

(lgbthealthwellness.files.wordpress.com)
(lgbthealthwellness.files.wordpress.com)

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_towards_non-binary_gender_persons
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Research
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_nonbinary_gender_people#Nonbinary_erasure
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelsie-brynn-jones/when-being-trans-is-not-t_b_6340728.html