Of the 10 to 15 times my phone rings each day, 90% of the time I don’t answer. Using the silent button on the side of my phone has become instinct. Because of this, I also get 10 to 15 messages every day from angry family, friends and relatives who express their annoyance at my lack of communication. And that’s the keyword for this blog today: Communication.
Studying at Penn State has highlighted the importance of communication in my life. With best friends across the country, and family across the world, keeping in touch with my loved ones is the most important aspect of maintaining relationships. Of course, keeping track of multiple people alongside the busy schedules of our lives is difficult. But communication and open communication is imperative to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.
Psychologist Sherrie Bourgh Carter suggests that the lack of healthy relationships originating from unhealthy communication has been one of the key factors causing stress. Individuals look towards friends, family and gatherings as a stress buster from the chaos in their busy lives. When such gatherings become limited due to faltered communication patterns, one falls into the trap of perpetually working. This becomes an unhealthy lifestyle that propagates stress.
Realizing this is a key aspect of growing as an individual. The first thing we think to neglect in times of a busy work life is our social life, and the communication we hold with our loved ones. We tend to take family and friends for granted, expecting to return to them after rocky phases in our life has passed. However, such a mindset only leads to the magnification between the distance between our friends and family. Eventually, these communication problems present themselves as the four problems that psychologist John Gottman stated: stonewalling, criticism, defensiveness and contempt. This only leads to a domino effect of worsening relationships.
Our lives as college students today is difficult. We have busy schedules, and exams; classes and club meetings. In the midst of this, we tend to falter in how much we communicate with our family or high school friends. Today, we may think that our packed schedules do not allow for high levels of communication. However, working after college in the future will present us with busier days. I think that this calls for our attention to being mindful of communication with the important people in our life.
November 26, 2018 at 8:32 pm
I feel that this post is incredibly relevant to me right now as the Thanksgiving break has made me realize how much I miss my family. Unfortunately, ever since I arrived in State College to begin my first semester, I have not been in close touch with the people I used to spend the most time with. I agree that it is incredibly important to keep in touch with those closest to you as it keeps you grounded knowing that they are there to support you. Another great blog post!
November 29, 2018 at 11:07 pm
Another beautifully relevent post! I think everyone (especially college students) can relate to the difficuty of keeping in touch with those we care about. I really apprecaite your honest yet advising tone in this peice; this post was equal parts comforting and educational. Thanks for sharing!