Due to some health issues last week, the drafts of my analysis and speech are more outline oriented, but I am confident in the analytical aspect of my projects that I believe I it will come together.
To begin I will share the outline that I have of my rhetorical analysis essay. . .
Introduction –
- Hook that grabs attention
- Question our societies beauty standards to appeal to the uneasy emotion of pressure in our cosmetic world
- “Have you ever loved a product so much, yet you just want to hate it because of what it represents? This idea of promoting a false message through the use of products that define standards, is common in the beauty industry, specifically through make-up products.”
- Question our societies beauty standards to appeal to the uneasy emotion of pressure in our cosmetic world
- Introduce Maybelline company
- Main civic artifact – “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline”
- Maybelline, an American multinational cosmetic company, is evidence of how the beauty industry alters their message to emphasize the unrealistic beauty standards held up in our society using yer notion of female trickery
- Main civic artifact – “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline”
- Thesis
- Through the use of commonplaces that lure men into the fraud nature of artificiality and rhetorical situation, in which Maybelline is emphasized as the secret to beauty, the “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline” slogan defines societies dated notion of looking at appearance unlike companies such as Dove, who’s messages solely promote inner beauty.
Body Paragraph 1 – Commonplaces
- Topic sentence
- Explain what a commonplace is and how our cosmetic industry prominently uses notions to sell products
- Introduce the notion of female trickery
- Highlight how we use the “artificiality” of women’s features (i.e. eyelashes) to denote our definition of beauty
- Fraud nature of artificiality
- The deception of women’s beauty is lost in the constant portrayal of using products to alter looks using makeup
- Maybelline mentions that a women’s face is born beautiful, but until she uses their products does it actually stand out
- The deception of women’s beauty is lost in the constant portrayal of using products to alter looks using makeup
Body Paragraph 2 – Rhetorical Situation
- Topic sentence
- Explain the idea of the women luring men through beauty advertisements
- Delve into how Maybelline references a specific cause (their products) that result in a woman being beautiful
- Finish out by talking about how Maybelline is emphasized to be the “secret” behind a woman’s beauty rather than her natural features without extra additives
Breakaway Paragraph – Compare/Contrast the commonplace that Maybelline uses compared to Dove
- Topic sentence
- Introduce Dove’s company and their stand on inner beauty
- Explain the commonplace that Dove uses
- Beauty is only skin deep (Inner beauty is more important than physical beauty)
- Dove completely re-directs the detection of overlooking artificial beauty and rather than even mentioning the possibility to be naturally beautiful, they jump straight to the focus of all inner beauty
- Beauty is only skin deep (Inner beauty is more important than physical beauty)
- Compare Dove’s standards of beauty to that of Maybelline (Natural Beauty v. Inner Beauty)
Conclusion Paragraph
- Restate thesis
- Explain a possible call-to-action as to how this analysis shapes our beauty industry
- Summarize points made and what can be done to change the advertisement to be more centered around today’s world
Now moving onto my speech, I will solely be focusing on the Maybelline artifact: “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.”
In order to share my analysis of this artifact, I am going to start my speech showing this advertisement of the slogan.
Following a short pause to be allow the audience to get a full look of the image, my analysis will begin. To start I will question the audience with critical thinking questions to provoke the complexity of the “simple” ad. After questioning the audience a bit and emphasizing the details of the ad that I am about to go into within my analysis, I will probably take another short pause before sharing the intentions of the analysis. Going into more depth from the rhetorical essay, I am going to combine the ideas of women luring mean and creating a fraud nature of artificiality into one, while also analyzing the visual rhetoric in the ad. To analyze the first part of the ad in regards to women luring men, I will talk about the verbal cues and commonplaces associated with the slogan. To then analyze the visual rhetoric, I will talk about the company’s choice to use the colors black and white as if the appeal of a women is that she either is born with natural beauty or she uses Maybelline to look beautiful, yet the real-world situation is that we are all beautiful. Altogether, I want my speech to propose the false reality of women’s features being used to define beauty when our everyday society is leaning towards a more progressive route in the beauty industry that does not make women seem “fake” if using makeup.
1. Identify the writer’s main claim about the rhetoric, ideology, lenses of analysis, or and subtext of the piece.
-Through the use of commonplaces the Maybelline artifact that Elizabeth has examined emphasizes society’s unrealistic beauty standards, while her other artifact promotes inner beauty through the same lenses of commonplaces.
2. Identify and comment on the writer’s introduction or “way in” for this piece of rhetoric. Name one thing that might be added, deleted, changed, or moved.
-I can tell that your introduction will be strong and powerful when you put it all together. I especially liked your hook as it makes the audience consider their own values. I would recommend you give a short summary of each artifact just so the reader has a better idea when approaching the essay.
3. Warning flags: check any of the following predominant themes this paper contains that might suggest a weak introduction or thesis:
Rhetoric is everywhere___
Artifacts try to persuade us__X_
Life really isn’t like what the artifact proclaims_X_
Rhetoric has many components__
Ads are deceptive_X_
The artifact did a great job__
The artifact catches your eye__
4. Find a strong analytical topic sentence and a weak one. Explain why you have identified them as such.
I felt Elizabeth is on track for all her topic sentences being strong. I would just recommend that she makes sure that they get to the point and don’t introduce too much information early on.
5. Comment on the organization of the piece. What other possible arrangement strategies might make more of the material and develop arguments more fully? How well is the second comparative piece of rhetoric incorporated?
-I think it is smart how you split up your essay for each paragraph to focus on each artifact. It definitely helps you organize your analysis. I like how you plan on taking time to explain commonplaces and their impact on the beauty world before delving into your artifacts. I believe this will help the reader get a good understanding of your analysis.
6. You wanted to read more about….
-I would love if you included some quotes or experiences of how girls react to these kinds of ads. It would help convey how powerful the use of commonplace is.
ignore number three, there was no weakness in your thesis:)
Wow, I was very impressed with your speech! I could tell you were well prepared, and you seemed confident and relaxed. Your delivery was well paced which made it easy to follow along and engage with your analysis. In addition, the graphics you used were beneficial and did not take away from your speech at all!
Your speech was excellent. The pace of it was steady and you did not stutter. Your voice could easily be heard. You explained the advertisement very well. I liked how you got right into analyzing your artifact. You also efficiently explained the gist of the makeup industry and how society relates to it. There were no distractions in the frame. The lighting was good because I could see your facial expressions. Overall, I think you were very prepared for your speech due to your confidence and ability to articulate the implications of the artifact.
I think you have a very strong foundation for your essay. Dove is a great comparison company for Maybelline. However, I think it would be beneficial to use an artifact from Dove, rather than the entire company. This would provide better focus and direction in the analysis portion. For the speech portion, I think your plan of giving time for the audience to internalize the artifact is great and often overlooked. I also like how you plan on putting men into the conversation when it comes to the role of cosmetics in society.
1. Identify the writer’s main claim about the rhetoric, ideology, lenses of analysis, or and subtext of the piece.
Her main claim is that Maybelline relies heavily on rhetorical strategies and commonplaces to garner higher market share.
2. Identify and comment on the writer’s introduction or “way in” for this piece of rhetoric. Name one thing that might be added, deleted, changed, or moved.
Her introduction is very strong because it utilized something that is very familiar. This also grasps the audience’s attention. One thing I would maybe change is adding more introduction pertaining to the rhetorical strategies used.
3. Warning flags: check any of the following predominant themes this paper contains that might suggest a weak introduction or thesis:
Rhetoric is everywhere__
Artifacts try to persuade us__
Life really isn’t like what the artifact proclaims__
Rhetoric has many components__
Ads are deceptive__ CHECK
The artifact did a great job__
The artifact catches your eye__
4. Find a strong analytical topic sentence and a weak one. Explain why you have identified them as such.
WEAK: “Following a short pause to be allow the audience to get a full look of the image, my analysis will begin.”
– I don’t think it was necessary for her to state, “my analysis will begin.”
STRONG: “To analyze the first part of the ad in regards to women luring men, I will talk about the verbal cues and commonplaces associated with the slogan.”
– This is a great topic sentence because it effectively introduces how she will analyze the luring aspect.
5. Comment on the organization of the piece. What other possible arrangement strategies might make more of the material and develop arguments more fully? How well is the second comparative piece of rhetoric incorporated?
The introduction is well organized. It briefly covers what will be talked about in the essay. The second comparative piece is well incorporated. However, it would be nice to see more information about Dove and the analysis that will follow.
6. You wanted to read more about….
I wanted to read more about the societal influences that push people to use makeup. I think this would combine nicely with the rhetoric of the slogan.