I believe in being basic.

Growing up as a triplet, I grew frustrated being referred to as “one of the Carpenetti triplets” instead of by my name. I felt like I needed to develop a unique personality–one that would distinguish me from my siblings. I wanted to be my own person, separate from the trio that seemed to define me my whole childhood. I wanted to define myself, and the only way I thought I could do that was by developing a distinctly different identity from my siblings.

It started with the little things, like how all our toys were distinguishable by our signature colors. Then it spread to interests. When my brother was praised for his singing voice, I decided I would never pursue singing as a hobby. When my other brother was described as talkative, I became quieter.

In attempting to differentiate myself from my family, I developed this mindset of isolating myself from my peers as well. I think I subconsciously believed that this was the key to being special… that I only had value if I was completely unlike anyone else. This pursuit manifested into a bias against anything popular.

Walking through the middle school halls, I prided myself on not caring about superficial things like social media or makeup. I rejected trends, often criticizing my peers for quote “giving in” to them.

But then something remarkable happened the summer before high school: I got a haircut. Not just any haircut, oh no. This haircut changed the trajectory of my life. The days of frizzy triangle hair became a thing of the past, and I could finally see my natural curls. At long last, I liked how my hair looked. And my wavy curls just so happened to be on-trend. For once, I felt positive about something superficial. And so began my ascent through popular culture. I spent hours watching YouTube outfit inspiration videos and hair tutorials to learn from girls who had already figured these things out. I watched shows everyone was always talking about like The Office and Parks and Recreation. I got Instagram. I even turned off auto-capitalization on my phone–something I scoffed at previously but now still live by to this day. Recently, the trend of flare leggings and wide leg jeans has revolutionized my wardrobe, and if I hadn’t seen other girls wear them first or saw them on display at the mall, I would never have discovered the comfort that is wide leg pants.

It wasn’t giving in, it was freeing. Opening up to things I had previously considered to be below me gave me more options, more looks that made me feel confident, more knowledge about topics I could talk about.

I learned that perfect, complete originality doesn’t exist. There is a sense of comfort in sharing interests and style with my peers, and that it shouldn’t be discredited as vapid. Now, whenever I hear someone bash a popular trend before trying it, I have to remind them that (not all but) most things are popular for a reason.

I’ve heard girls be described as “basic” countless times, as if dressing in a trendy style makes one boring. But now I believe that individuality does not come from appearances, but from experiences.