Black is Back

For this blog post, I decided that I would go back to the basics. When I was in elementary school, one of the first English lessons I remember having was a talk on adjectives and feelings we associate with certain colors. For example, the color white is meant to be associated with ideas of goodness and purity, while green is connected with nature and envy. But, the color I remember getting the worst wrap was the color black, due to its ties with nothingness and anger.

This interpretation of color apparently coincides pretty well when it comes to fur color.

Squirrel fur color, that is.

Up until this point, I assumed that all squirrels had the same mannerisms. That they were all very spastic, quirky, and driven by food. But, after doing some extensive research (I typed squirrel fur colors into Google) some new information came to my attention. Black squirrels, which are native to the Midwestern United States, Ontario, Quebec, and parts of the Northeastern US and Great Britain, are actually significantly more aggressive than your average grey and red squirrels.

This difference in behavior is due to the squirrels’ higher levels of testosterone. This above-average level leads to the squirrels being “faster, fitter, fiercely territorial, and more aggressive.” More often than not, this means that black squirrels often beat out grey squirrels for both food and mates, which is ironic considering black squirrels are a sub-species of the grey squirrel (talk about betrayal, am I right or am I right).

So where did these black squirrels come from, and what environmental impact are they having in areas where they exist?

Now, it is still under dispute whether these mammals were dispersed throughout the England, the US and Canada after being brought from foreign lands, or whether the black subspecies was simply a genetic mutation, resulting in the development of this squirrel sub-species around the world. As far as their impact on their surrounding environments goes, they have been creating quite a bit of trouble. First of all, some scientists believe that this “mutation” makes the mammals more immune to diseases, which could lead to an increased overall squirrel population. And, just as I mentioned in one of my earlier articles, the grey squirrel in regions of England was harshly competing against the native red-squirrel, resulting in a large decrease in the red squirrel population. Now considering that the black squirrel is even more aggressive and territorial than the grey squirrel, they are obviously creating massive issues for both red and grey squirrels. In fact, black squirrels have become such an issue in parts of England, that in Cambridgeshire, England, as of 1958, all red squirrels have been extinct—the area now only consists of black squirrels.

Visual showdown– 3 ways this time. The black squirrel is cute but looks moderately aggressive.

Blog Writing Is Getting Difficult

 

I can’t believe I’ve never written about this topic before, so I figured now should indeed be the time.

So there’s really only so many things you can say about squirrels, especially the dark side of squirrels… I mean, squirrels in general just aren’t really all that dark (I mean this in a figurative sense, of course. Squirrels come in a variety of colors, including brown, grey, and black). In fact, most things about squirrels are pretty great, like the fact that they, I don’t know, WATER SKI.

Twiggy the squirrel (I should really say squirrels. The act has gone through many, many squirrels. They just keep renaming all of them Twiggy. Currently, they are on Twiggy #9) first began water skiing in 1979, when Chuck and Lou Ann Best, Deltona Florida citizens, decided nothing could be more fun than training a grey squirrel to water ski on the back of a remote controlled boat. Now it is important to note that the squirrels used in these water skiing performances are not taken from the wild against their will. You see, The Bests only train abandoned, orphaned squirrels to become the next great Twiggy.

Twiggy the squirrel is actually quite a popular act, despite how bizarre the concept may seem. Twiggy is on tour 9 out of 12 months of the year, and when not performing across the country, makes guest appearances on TV shows and movies, such as Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgendy and Brad Paisley’s recent music video, Riverbank.

For her performances, Twiggy only uses the best of the best. The squirrel has a custom made boat that she skis behind, accompanied by her American flag-themed, custom made life jacket. Currently within her acts, she sports skills such as hand gliding and jet skiing, but is still in the process of learning wakeboarding.

Twiggy is also quite a character, according to the Bests. Her favorite foods include pistachios and cooked oatmeal, and she also loves to run around and play with her other rescued squirrel friends in her free-time. She is a very tame squirrel overall, obviously due to her constant exposure and interaction with humans, but also has several dislikes. According to the family, Twiggy strongly dislikes cranes (she has been attacked by one before) and loud rock music.

Twiggy even has her own Facebook page! The page provides updates to fans about her upcoming tour dates and other squirrel related stories. You can check it out if you don’t believe me… she also evidently works for her own company, according to the page– Twigy’s Inc!

https://www.facebook.com/twiggysrehab/

I also figured that I had to provide some photos and videos… this story isn’t nearly as exciting unless you see it in action. I promise that you won’t be disappointed!

Oh my god they even have stuffed animal squirrels driving the boat I can’t handle how cute this is.

She even has a legitimate sponsor. I can only hope to be as successful as this squirrel honestly.

It’s Electric

Living in a place like rural PA, visible power-lines are a pretty common thing. You know, the tall wooden polls along roads and houses, strung together by thick black wires that carry electricity. For us, these wires are essential to our everyday lives because they power the things that we can’t live without– televisions, coffee makers, microwaves, and phone chargers. But, these power-lines aren’t only important due to their source of power, but also as a source of leisure. No, not a source of leisure for humans, but rather, for small mammals! Animals such birds, rats, and SQUIRRELS love power-lines as perching spots and a means of getting around town in the quickest and most efficient way possible. But, as you could imagine, these power-line excursions aren’t necessarily the… safest. Animal electrocution on power-lines is -unfortunately a commonly-occurring activity, which is not only detrimental to the animals themselves, but also creates quite a problem for the electric companies. In fact, it has been creating such problems that a New York Times journalist decided to do his own personal research on the topic. John Mooallem published an article in August of 2013 relaying his study’s results, which are, quite frankly, pretty shocking. John first became intrigued by the topic when in April of 2013, a single squirrel (who unfortunately did not make it…RIP) created power loss for over 700 Florida residents, forcing the delay of three Florida state-wide achievement tests in 3 nearby schools. John’s studies go on to document an additional 50 power outages among 24 states caused by squirrels between Labor Day of 2013 (May 27th) and the time that the article was published in August. The most extensive of these power outages occurred in Portland, Oregon, where in the month of July alone, over 9,000 people collectively lost power due to squirrels.

Now, I know this a touchy topic to discuss, it being death and all… especially because it involves the cutest and fluffiest animals on this planet, but I feel as if I need to get into the specifics a bit.

So, power-lines are designed to take on this kind of interruption. Once the… electrocuted animal falls to the ground from the power-line, the flow of electricity continues. But, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes… you know… the squirrels… get stuck. Yes, they get stuck in the power-lines sometimes, and this is what creates the massive interruptions in the flow of energy. The electricity essentially… ugh this is so hard to say… disintegrates the squirrels completely when they get stuck, which as you could imagine, creates a bunch of problems.

Overall, it is estimated that between 7 and 20 percent of power outages are caused by squirrels, and just for an idea of cost, it is estimated that California’s economy spent over 300 million dollars just on squirrel related power outages.

I know that this was a gruesome topic, but guys, this is the dark side of squirrels so it had to be said.

Catch Me If You Can

If any of you have ever been out squirrel watching, or just have noticed squirrels while walking to class or around campus, you have probably at one point or another noticed them chasing each other. You know, one squirrel running intensely after another in a grassy area, or even better, one squirrel following another in a “spiral motion” down the trunk of a tree. I personally love watching squirrels do this. It reminds me of when dogs chase each other, except it’s cuter and their tails are much more majestic. But, honestly, I never associated squirrel chases with anything other than just playfulness—I always assumed that the action was all in good fun, and that, well, realistically there probably isn’t much you do to amuse yourself as a squirrel, so running after each other is probably like, the highlight of their days. But, after stumbling across an article, I realized that chasing one another isn’t always a light-hearted act—sometimes it’s an act of aggression.

According to the article, the main reason that squirrels chase one another is due to territorial reasons. The flying squirrel and red squirrel are the both very territorial, and can often be seen chasing away fellow squirrels of their species when perpetrators are eating food from their territory. However, the little guys that we often see on campus, the grey squirrels, actually aren’t territorial at all. Rather, they chase one another in order to either establish dominance, for mating reasons, or, as my initial instincts led me to believe, just for some good old fashioned fun.

Essentially, when I say establishing dominance, they are really just trying to show the other squirrel “who’s boss.” Think of it like this—

Squirrel One: *scampers onto the Old Main Lawn, in search of nuts.”

Squirrel Two: *notices squirrel one on his territory, the Old Main Lawn* Hey, you. Yeah, I’m talking to you, fluffy. Get out of here, those are my nuts. *Chases squirrel one ferociously off of the lawn and into downtown.*

That’s probably exactly how it happens in the squirrel world.

When it comes to mating reasons, I think that’s pretty self-explanatory and I will NOT be creating dialogue of this scenario.

And finally, just like I originally though, yes, squirrels do chase one another around just for the fun of it. But, it is important to note that this behavior is almost exclusively exhibited in adolescent squirrels. Just as we outgrow the game of tag, so do squirrels.

Well, there you have it folks. So the next time you see one squirrel chasing another around here on campus, just keep in mind that it may not be all fun and games. It could be an assertion of dominance… or a desperate plea for love/babies.

 

Red squirrels are such drama queens.

http://www.livescience.com/32740-why-do-squirrels-chase-each-other-.html

A Bit of a Bite

Now, some of you may be thinking that based on the title of this post that squirrels are evil and aggressive animals. This is not the case. I understand that these posts are about “the dark side of squirrels,” but I swear, squirrels really aren’t evil… just… just read the blog.

Getting bit by a squirrel really isn’t common, at all, but it does happen. Just as people get electrocuted by their toasters and fall into toilets , people also get bit by squirrels every so often. In fact, it is so rare to be bit by a squirrel that one squirrel bite occurs for every 100 dog bites and for every 10 human bites (I personally find that to be a creepy statistic but that’s what the source indicates so I figured I would include it.)  Realistically, squirrel bites only occur when you trap the creatures in a corner and harass them, or if you feed them and hold the food in your fingers rather than in your palm. But, if you do get bit by a squirrel, there are some steps you should follow in order to assure that the accident is handled in a safe and proper manner.

The first thing you should know when dealing with squirrel bites is that it is very uncommon for squirrels to carry rabies. Generally, animals that tend to carry rabies (raccoon, possums, etc,) are enemies of the squirrel, meaning that squirrels avoid these animals at all costs and very rarely does the disease spread to them. With this being said, it generally is not necessary to contact animal control unless you are beginning to clearly display signs of rabies.

Initially after being bit, it is a good idea to quickly wash the wound with luke-warm water and disinfect it with alcohol. After doing this, if you are still feeling uneasy about the accident, it may also be a good idea to take a trip to the hospital… which is apparently becoming more and more common for victims of squirrel bites. I say this because as of October of 2015, there is now a unique medical code for reporting a squirrel bite. You see, when you go to the hospital, depending on the illness or injury you have, there is a specific code to record it in medical records for reimbursement purposes. For example, when a patient shows up to a doctor’s office with the flu, the medical code is ICD-9-CM 487.1. For a squirrel bite, the code is W53.21XA. Isn’t that neat? I personally find that to be pretty entertaining. 

So, I think that’s about all you really need to know about squirrel bites folks. Don’t go around harassing squirrels and you should be able to avoid this situation entirely. So… just don’t harass them (AKA try to catch them. I know it’s tempting. Just don’t do it. Trust me, I would know.)

I’m kidding I haven’t tried to catch one more than once.

Coming 4 U

Now, as I mentioned at the onset of this semester, I am writing about the dark side of squirrels—the aspects of squirrels that are not necessarily “ideal” so to speak. And, that’s exactly what I have been doing, and am continuing to do… I think. So,

Ready or not, here they come.

Well, technically, I guess they’re already here. Or, there I should say, considering our current location.

Sorry, this all probably sounds really confusing.

What I’m trying to say here is,

Squirrels are an invasive species.

There I said it.

Now before you get your furry tails in a twist, let me explain. The squirrels that we see scampering around campus each and every day (the eastern grey squirrel) is not an invasive species… not HERE at least. But, in other portions of the world, that unfortunately is not the case.

So, let’s begin with where grey squirrels are indeed native. Obviously, they are native here, in Pennsylvania, along with all other states on the rights side of the country. Basically, if you drew a vertical line right down the middle of the country and selected all states to the right of that line, that is where grey squirrels are native. Grey squirrels are also natively found in portions of England, Ireland, Northern Italy, South Africa, and Western Canada.

So, where are these fluffy animals creating problems as invasive species?

Residents of both the state of California and Great Britain would be happy to tell you.

Not only are the fur balls destructive towards the tree populations in these areas (they like to chew on tree bark—can’t blame them,) they are also having a quite literal deadly impact on another animal species in these areas… the red squirrel. That’s right, grey squirrels are actually killing off their red-headed family members. I mean, I’ve heard some bad “ginger” jokes but this is just taking it a bit too far if you ask me.Here is a visual match-up. The grey squirrel does actually look a lot more menacing.

Now it is important to note that none of this death or destruction is intentional. You see, grey squirrels have been carrying something called “squirrel pox” which are easily spread to their red-headed brothers. The grey squirrels themselves, however, seem to actually be completely immune to the illness, making the red squirrels in California and Britain completely vulnerable. According to TIME magazine, the grey squirrel was ranked the 5th most invasive species of all time, due to its spreading of disease and the fact that grey squirrels consume 7 times as much food as their red-headed kin, creating an unsustainable environment for the squirrel population in these areas. In the TIME magazine lineup, the squirrel only ranked behind the rapidly growing Kudzu plant, the cane toad, rabbits, and Asian carp.

It is really quite sad to hear about squirrels fighting amongst each other like this. It is my hope that one day, all squirrels can live in harmony. That goes for humans too I suppose.

 

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1958657_1958656_1958637,00.html

 

Wrecked

My dog got drunk once. While my family was away for the day, a bottle of wine that we had setting on a wine wrack exploded, and Susie, our miniature poodle who is 12 pounds of pure fluff, drank it up—all of it. She spent the entire rest of the day stumbling around and running into things, and the next day, she was hungover! The poor thing vomited, multiple times. That’s the effect that a bottle of wine had on a 12 pound dog.

Now imagine something smaller drinking alcohol.

A cat?

No.

A rabbit?

No.

My blog is about squirrels so obviously we are talking about squirrels here.

That’s right folks, just several short months ago a squirrel was found completely wasted in a bar in England. However, as I’m sure you could imagine, bars don’t exactly serve their kind in England, or anywhere really for that matter. The English squirrel was a very unwanted customer, who left the bar with hundreds of dollars in damage and the embarrassment of knowing that a rodent left them with hundreds of dollars in damage.

According to the bar’s owner, Sam Boulter, the squirrel must have found its way into the bar the previous evening and managed to avoid being seen by the bar’s customers and owners. As a result, the squirrel had the ability to run wild the entire night… and it did, according to evidence. Broken glasses, shattered wine bottles, a running beer tap, and a very slow moving squirrel were all found at the scene of the crime on an early July morning of last year.

If my 12 pound dog became drunk after drinking a bottle of wine, imagine how drunk a 1 pound squirrel was after drinking straight from a tap.

Anyways, when owners arrived in the morning, they still had a very tough time capturing the little fur ball, despite its enamored state. Eventually, employees managed to capture the critter in a recycling container and release it out the window, and watched as it clumsily stumbled into the woods.

After the incident was all said and done, the squirrel’s damage amounted to nearly $450. According to employees, the estimated damages were so high because the rodent didn’t bother touching the nuts that the bar had on hand, or any of the bar’s food for that matter—it just went straight for the alcohol.

That’s a pretty edgy squirrel if you ask me. But,

I don’t think he’ll be invited back anytime soon.

Also, yes, as unlikely and unreal as this story may sound, and unlike last week’s blog post, this did actually happen. As I stated, the crime occurred in July of 2015 at the Honeybourne Railway Club in Evesham (ham only served in the evening), England.

The story was recounted by the New York Daily News here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/squirrel-breaks-english-bar-samples-alcohol-article-1.2297653

But I think I told it better.

Accidents Happen

Although I would like to think that squirrels are capable of only good things, all organisms tend to have their flaws. A major flaw of squirrels exists in their incapability to make good decisions, particularly when it comes to crossing roads. Not to be blunt, but I must admit that squirrels do cause an astonishing number of auto accidents and have been the source of death for many easily-startled drivers.

Unfortunately, there are no statistics out there to show us just how many auto accidents squirrels have caused over the years, so to capture the issue accurately, I have found one specific instance of a squirrel related car crash that I believe will accurately reflect the issue at hand today.

The story begins in southern Minneapolis on June 7th of 2015, when a couple in their mid 60’s was traveling on a narrow, shady country road. According to Mary Greenfich, age 63, who was the passenger in the car when the accident occurred, her and her husband (and driver) Mort Greenfich, age 66, were on their way to the closest Walmart to purchase a new lamp shade and electrical tape. It was a cloudy day, but the roads were dry and there was no precipitation in the forecast. According to Mort, “…these were ideal driving conditions. I was confident that 14 MPH was reasonable, especially on a back road.” Although the speed limit on the road was 45 MPH, authorities report that the car was indeed moving at a speed of 14 MPH when the impact occurred.

“The car was moving so fast, so was the squirrel—it just all happened so fast,” said Mary months after the accident, holding back sobs. “I remember it like it was yesterday, the look on that squirrel’s face. It was planning this, it wanted this.”

Authorities have not been able to confirm if this was indeed an arranged crime. “The cat was about 11 inches in diameter, I’d say about 7 or 8 pounds. Weird looking cat. No wonder it stepped out in front of our car.” (Statement made by Mort Greenfich, before being told by his wife that the animal the car hit was a squirrel not a cat).

**The response of Mort Greenfich to this information has been removed for sensory reasons**

“After we hit the squirrel, it got up and walked away. It looked completely fine. No scratches, no blood. It was unbelievable” says Mary.

The vehicle of Mary and Mort Greenfich, however, was not as fortunate. The vehicle has been confirmed as totaled, and is completely unsalvageable. Unfortunately, the Greenfich’s will not be reimbursed for their auto accident. When asked for a comment, an agency representative stated: “Stop letting squirrels hit your cars.”

Accurate.

According to authorities the squirrel is still on the run and has been convicted with the felony of a “hit and run.”

If you are in southern Minneapolis, please keep an eye out for this squirrel:

This image was drawn by Mary Greenfich, which she verifies to be an accurate depiction.

For a full recaps of the story, please visit the following URL’s:

http://duckduckgrayduck.com/2015/04/20/south-minneapolis-couple-injured-in-car-accident-with-squirrel/

https://sites.psu.edu/erikaveiszlemlein/2016/02/10/accidents-happen/

 

 

CAUTION: Beware of Squirrel

Squirrels are pretty innocent animals. They happily scamper along, collecting nuts for the winter, and overall, are pretty non-aggressive animals (I’ve been trying to make this argument with housing for weeks but they still won’t let me keep a squirrel in the dorm. They shouldn’t say that all non-aggressive pets are allowed if they don’t uphold that rule under all circumstances).

(Also I am kidding. I haven’t actually been arguing with my RA about this matter… but I have mentioned it, once or twice… maybe three times).

But all of this is beside the point I am trying to make here. As sweet and docile as squirrels may seem to all of us onlookers, just like any other species out there, squirrels do go little “nuts” sometimes, if you know what I mean.

Let’s start with perhaps the most shocking of claims about squirrels in general—they’re not always herbivores. When squirrels are in desperate need of food, or are required to protect their babies from predators, they will eat meat. A prime example of this would be  squirrels warding off snakes, which doubles as both a protectionary and sustainability method for the furry creatures. Although the squirrels tend to be the underdogs in these gruesome battles, they do occasionally come out on top. Some of these duels have even been captured on camera and have taken the internet by storm.

But snakes aren’t the only organisms that squirrels partake in brawls with; squirrels VS. humans is a match-up just as common. Although squirrels do tend to keep their distance, even in heavily populated areas, instances do still occur when the furry creatures get just a bit too close. You see, it’s a lot easier to get close to a squirrel than you make think. In fact, just this weekend, I made my first attempt at approaching a squirrel. All I had to do was make a squirrel call (I know what you’re all thinking, but not so fast. It’s super easy to make a squirrel call—you just clench your teeth while your mouth is open and suck in on your saliva. You’ve all probably made this noise before without even knowing that it attracts squirrels) and a squirrel stopped what it was doing and scurried right up to me! It got up on its hind legs, placed its two front paws on its tummy, and looked at me. It was absolutely adorable. But, as adorable as it was, it isn’t a good thing for the squirrel community overall. Squirrels begin exhibiting aggressive behavior towards humans once they become too comfortable around them. Squirrel calling is a mild contributing factor, but once humans start feeding squirrels and petting them—that’s when a problem is created, just like the one that transpired in Novato, CA several months ago. A squirrel that was very comfortable around humans found its way into an elementary school and bit both a student and a teacher.

Aggressive Squirrel Attacks Kindergarten Class In Novato

This is probably why my RA won’t let me have a squirrel.

But I doubt that she knows about how aggressive squirrels can be.

Not to insinuate that I know more than her about squirrels, but,

I know more than her about squirrels.

There, I said it.

And So It Begins

I understand that this comes across as a strange blog topic for many of you. I read several of your passion blog plans last week, and they all came across as very… legitimate topics. Not that squirrels aren’t legitimate—they absolutely are. It might just take a bit more convincing for some of you.

You see, I just really like squirrels. But, I am not Penn State’s “Squirrel Girl.” It’s not some creepy obsession or irrational love, I just like them. And, quite frankly, it is pretty easy to write about them. I didn’t want my passion blog topic to be something too heavy last semester or this semester. I wanted my blogs to be fun and easy to read and even more fun to write, and the topic of squirrels fits the bill perfectly.

Because none of you had the chance to read my blogs last semester, I feel as if I should start at the beginning. Squirrels are my favorite animal, and have been since I was a little kid. I can still recall watching them scamper through my grandparents’ yard when I was six or seven years old, loving how silly they looked when they moved and how their tails looked like brown marshmallows. I remember having to convince my grandfather not to shoot them with the BB gun when they found their way into the bird feeder, and how my grandmother used to (and still does) call them big rats with tails.

It just constantly seemed as if it was squirrels versus the rest of the world, and let’s be real here, squirrels weigh less than a pound; there’s no way they could take on the whole world. I’ve always enjoyed rooting for the underdog, and in a planet filled with dangerous powerlines, hawks, the elderly armed with BB guns, and vicious domesticated animals, squirrels are the underdogs.

Now, last semester, I focused mostly on general squirrel facts and more light-hearted topics. I touched upon things like squirrel hibernation, different squirrel variations, squirrel related movies, blue squirrels, and squirrel domestication. You know, just the basics. However, this semester, as per request of family and friends, things will be getting much more serious. This semester, I will be capturing the dark side of squirrels—when squirrels strike back, if you will. This semester, the squirrels will no longer be the underdogs– they’ll be your worst nightmare.

My weekly blog posts will discuss topics such as squirrel related injuries, the impact squirrels have on our society, and squirrels in the news.

None of you people know me yet, but by the end of this semester’s blog posts, I hope you will. I swear I’m not crazy, I’m just a very… light-hearted writer, who likes rodents. I can assure you’ll never be bored reading my posts, and that very few of them will include any legitimate facts or date, just like this post.

And that’s a promise.

Get ready section 29. The squirrels are about to be unleashed.