The media has a way of shaping how viewer perceive love, sex, and romance. In most media, sex is always so amazing, the couple ALWAYS gets their happy ending, and the love is so effortless and easy. Even though we are brainwashed with this nonsense and we know life isn’t like the life on T.V., are we still able to form this expectations and assumptions about love, sex, and romance without having the media alter that? That answer is hard to determine unless we survey people on their thoughts and opinions.
Meet Talayah Johnson. She lives a few floors below me in Pollock. She is a biology major from Maryland. I knocked on her door and few days ago and asked if she could help me out on a class project of mine and she willingly agreed. I gave her the basic instructions and let her take the quiz.
Her desired qualities in a significant other include good looks, intelligent, athletic, nice, good with family, nice with kids, nice body, ambitious, and tall (she is very tall herself). However, out of this entire list she only had three non-negotiable qualities which included intelligent, good with family, and nice with kids.
When looking through her answers from the quiz, she only marked three of the answers as true statements. I told her that all of the answers are supposed to be false following her completion of the quiz. I didn’t find it that important to find out what she said nine of them were false, but more about the ones she said were true.
Q: How much do you think the media (articles, shows, couples on TV, celebrity couples, music, reality shows) impact/influence ideals.
Tayalah: They influence them by making people believe in the wrong ideals. They alter ideas of love from reality. I think this has a great impact on people’s lives because they have this false sense of reality when they enter into a romantic relationship with someone. And in reality relationships are not that easy. I am currently in one right now, so I know exactly how imperfect it can be.
Q: What are your thoughts on the answers you marked as true?
Tayalah:
Soul mate: I feel like my mate should know my unspoken body language, facial expressions, and mannerisms without me having to blatantly having to say it. If you’re my true soul mate you should know.
Bickering: Your significant other is not exactly like you and you two are going to have differences. If you don’t fight that means that you don’t care. I think there is an extent to what this can go to, but bickering means that you all are communicating and are passionate about something.
Completion: I think that if it’s the right person they will make you better than you are by yourself, so your dreams can come true because the two of you can do anything together.
Q: What do you think of media portrayal of sex, love and romance: realistic or not?
Tayalah: Not realistic because they don’t face the common struggles of a real couple. Usually they’re rich or perfect or destined to be together and that is not an accurate depiction of real life relationships. It seems so easy, effortless, and perfect in media, but in real life it is great but also very challenging and definitely not perfect.
My second interview was done with a girl named Chanya Anderson who also lives on a different floor in my building. She is coincidentally also from Maryland and is studying forensic science.
Chanya’s desired romantic qualities found in the opposite sex include honesty, sense of humor, educated, non-drinker, enjoys traveling, caring, animal lover, compassionate, and in shape. The non-negotiable qualities included honest, sense of humor, enjoys traveling, caring, and compassionate.
I explained the test to Chanya in the same way that I did with Tayalah and following the interview, I focused on the questions she marked true.
Q: How much do you think the media (articles, shows, couples on TV, celebrity couples, music, reality shows) impact/influence ideals.
Chanya: I feel like media portrayal gives me a very unrealistic idea of what a relationship will be, so when I go into a relationship, I go in with unrealistic goals. Media makes everyone seem perfect and happy and that just doesn’t exist.
Q: What are your thoughts on the answers you marked as true?
Love @ first sight: Sometimes when you meet somebody you can fall in love with them. Even if it’s not right away, they just realize they love them. You don’t have to personally know them to love them.
Sex is easy with the right partner: I feel like you’re more open to talking about what you want and prefer and you can therefore compromise about sex. If you’re not meant for them, I don’t think it will be as easy to do.
Changing a man: Some guys are not willing to settle down and face their inner demons until they meet the right one. They can’t change if they don’t want to, but they will for the right woman.
All you need is love: If you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they believe in, you’re more willing to compromise or ignore their beliefs if you love each other. You just have to respect each other and it should work out.
Q: What do you think of media portrayal of sex, love and romance: realistic or not?
Chanya: Not! I feel like they glorify everything in this statement. They make it seem like fairytales and almost every story has a happy ending. Something happens, but they always end up together. In real life, there are not always happy endings and sometimes you never make up with that person. Sex is also not a great and if you don’t love them.
Because of these interviews, I would say that people are aware of the myths they see in media about love, sex, and romance. And it doesn’t do much for anyone except give them unrealistic expectations.