First, I wondered if one forgets, then is it truly forgiveness? If an individual us unable to recall an event, there is nothing truly to forgive. As memory fades, the recollection and intensity of emotions from the event diminish. A study was done and had introduced a concept of memory mollification (De Brigard 2022). Memory mollification refers to the ability to recall an event, but the experience becomes less negatively experienced during the recall. Unlike the details of the events, the feelings change. Consequently, those who can’t or do not wish to forget or forgive can develop reappraisal strategies to find peace instead.
Another study found evidence to suggest there are two forms of forgiveness. They were labeled decisional and emotional forgiveness. Decision is based the conscious choice to move forward from negative feelings (e.g., anger and resentment). On the other hand, emotional forgiveness is based on replacing negative feelings with others (e.g., sympathy and empathy). There was further evidence that emotional forgiveness was linked with forgetting easier than decisional or no forgiveness at all.
I strongly believe that forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting. Forgiveness takes form as a conscious effort. It can result in a decrease of emotions like anxiety, anger, and anguish. It can be done through metacognition in the ability to recognize what about the event causes pain. There can be numerous root causes. Being able to remove yourself from the event can invite a new perspective. However, it is important to note that not all people or events morally require forgiveness. It is not necessary, but may be something some may look for.
In the case of neither forgiving nor forgetting, maybe the next best course of action is finding solitude in a hopeful future. Events of the past cannot be changed, but we do have influence on our future. Negative events of the past can consume the individual. Acknowledging that the past has been hurtful and created a negative impact is okay as long as it doesn’t haunt every breath taken. The ruthless events have the capacity to overshadow and crumple what the future and present can offer. A focus on unforgiveness can lead to negative health responses. Some responses affect blood pressure, heart health, muscle tension, and stomach issues.
Forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting. Forgiveness can come in three forms (emotional, decisional, and none). Yet, forgiveness is not always required nor is it necessary. However, it can be good to look towards ways that will better the individual’s well-being if a negative event becomes too consuming. This can be achieved through memory mollification and cognitive work. It’s important to be aware that psychological burdens can easily become unmanageable. Forgiving and forgetting is not always the answer.
I really like that you decided to talk about this in your blog. Forgiveness is something that we all must learn in order to grow as individuals and help us go on with our lives. I like how your fourth paragraph talks about how past events cannot be changed no matter what we do but we have a choice on how it continues to affect our life afterwards. This is something I think everyone can struggle with at some point in life and it also affects us so much as human beings. Our health and how we heal emotionally are intrinsically tied to forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you have to forget anything and sometimes, like you stated, forgiveness is not always necessary.
I never really considered that there were types of forgiveness, but looking at it now it makes sense that we have more than one type of forgiveness. Do you think that people use emotional forgiveness for less negative actions and decisional forgiveness for severe actions done against them? Also do you think people have a preferred method of forgiveness. Looking back I now remember switching between the two types or even using both at the same time.