By David Wolpert

You are not necessarily good, nor are you necessarily bad.

All inherent in you follows the inevitable law of equilibrium. If for every action there is an equal and opposite counterpart, then for every good you do or love you have there will be a resulting thing you did not intend to create. Your arms tilt, to the left evil (as a nun may have you believe) or to the right good. Crooked crucifix that you are.

If only we all could live

Our lives in the shape of balancing scales.

Our actions weighed publicly,

So we might be judged truly.


David Wolpert is currently majoring in nothing with a minor in bromeopathic medicine. He regrets this joke and would like it redacted immediately.