My child

I chew you up and spit you out

Devouring the idea of you

Before it can even exist

You are not meant to be mine

 

I pluck your skin from your bones

Your eyes from your head

Your teeth from your mouth

Your nails from your hands

 

I lick my fingers clean

And place the remains in a locket

Near my heart

Forever

 

My child

You are dear to me

But my womb is not meant for you to call home

My bones are not meant to bend and stretch to make room for you

My skin is not meant to sag from the memory of you

 

You are not meant to be held in my arms

To be protected by me

To be loved by me

To be cared for by me

 

I do not have the ability to love you

The way you should be loved

I do not have the ability to hold you

The way you are meant to be held

 

My child

I am not meant to be your mother

I am not made to be your mother

I cannot possibly do this

I am sorry, my love

 

I am sorry I can not carry you on my back

Or protect you from harm

Or pick insects from your scalp

Or offer my food to you

 

I am sorry, but we are not meant to be together

Not in this lifetime

So I will become another species

Who consumes their young

 

Alex Hedly is a sophomore English major with a minor in theatre. She is commonly found in either the Kulkarni Theatre or the Black Box Theatre, but in her free time, she really enjoys writing poetry and creative nonfiction. Writing is her passion and what she really loves to do.