Something made me smile today. I got called by my first name. An act so simple as being greeted by name is something that most people would not even think twice about doing, but today it really made my day. I was going to dinner like usual, and as someone with a food allergy, I am used to communicating with staff about my needs (Penn State is surprisingly accommodating for special diets). The cashier was one of the usual guys in Redifer, but I hadn’t seen him since before winter break. As I walked up, before I could even say a word, he said “order for Rachel right?” “Yeah!” I replied with a surprised smile. “I knew there was something to remember about you, and I was hoping I got it right” he said with about as much enthusiasm as I had. After dinner, on my way out of the dining hall, he once again called me by name as I was walking past. “Bye Rachel”, he said with a cheerful wave, and I (of course) cheerfully waved back.
As I walked back to my dorm, I realized I had no idea what his name was, and I was genuinely upset with myself for not knowing. Here he was, making the effort to memorize the name of one of the probably hundreds of students he sees every day, and I hadn’t taken the time to even learn his. I decided then and there that I wanted to try to make a point of remembering the name of at least one new person every day. That tiny interaction was able to alter my mood for the rest of the evening, and I wanted to be able to have that same impact on someone else. This change in mood isn’t just exclusive for me, remembering someone’s name can actually have a variety of benefits. Using their name in conversation is a way to express that you care, and it can lead to a deeper social connection (which can improve overall health in multiple areas). It can also make interactions easier and more comfortable for everyone involved.
Now, if you are anything like me, remember names might not be the easiest task, but I promise it is worth the effort. Many techniques exist for boosting memorization. Repetition, connecting the name with another person you know, or using mnemonic devices are all great options. What works best for you all depends on the way you learn, so try out a few options to find the one that is most comfortable.
The point is, take a little bit of extra time to learn the names of some of the people you see every day. You never know when someone could use a smile, and remembering something about them could be the tiny light that they need to get through a hard day.
As an introvert, I totally agree that someone remembering your name can completely change your mood. One thing I struggle with in particular is meeting new people in class at the start of the semester, but something that had the same effect as your story happened in my Chem 112 lecture this semester. Another student sat next to me on the first day and introduced himself, and every class following that day he has continued to sit next to me and remembered my name after that first meeting. It was nice to know that I was seen and I didn’t even have to be the one to initiate the first conversation.
For me personally, I don’t really care if people remember my name. I kind of operate on the principle that if I can tell you are referring to me, then I don’t care how you do so, right or wrong name. However, after reading your post, I can see how my own indifference towards my name is not a universal experience and that making an effort to learn and use people’s names can be rewarding. I don’t know if I’m outgoing enough to meet enough people to learn a new name every day like you, but I am going to make an active effort to learn more people’s names.
As someone who also has food allergies, this post completely resonated with me – there’s a guy who works at In A Pickle every Saturday afternoon when I go for lunch; from the very beginning, he has always remembered my allergy and will make the sandwich himself for me (alerting the rest of the staff) so that there is no cross-contamination. I always try to remember his name when I see him because like you said it’s truly one of easiest and most effective ways to communicate genuine appreciation. The appreciation I feel for this guy – Kurt – is insurmountable, and there are so many others…I need to keep working to remember their names.