http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuqXhhcrN80

Eminem did not stop showing his vulnerable self with his album Relapse. This album was released four years after one of his more successful albums. What created this hiatus was his addiction to medication and his inner fight of not wanting to be in the spotlight and putting away his aggressive, bleach-haired, alcoholic alter ego, Slim Shady. The alter ego and the fame he was pressured to keep caused him to lose sight of what is important in his life; by putting away his dark side, Marshall Mathers was able to focus on his two girls growing up and the other relationships in his life during his hiatus.

Eminem. 2009. Relapse.

“My Darling” represents the struggle of Mathers questioning if he wants to be in the spotlight. This track almost wasn’t released, for reasons not really known, and was put on the extended version of the CD and let fans in on the inner fight Mathers was having against Slim.

If you aren’t used to the weird, scary, honest, and untraditional methods that Eminem poses to represent his thoughts, then this song could definitely be scary. At first, Eminem wraps like normal and explains that he constantly feels pressured to hate and fight against the other rappers in the community. He expresses that he feels forced to take the fame that he once dreamed about and now he has to take ownership of who the world sees him as.

“If I were to rap about the crap that’s out
That’s the route you probably want me to take
‘Cause you’re just dyin’ to know what I think
Hear my take on some other rappers
If I was to say somethin’ about Paul Wall
You’d probably crap in your pants, ‘cause I’m white and he’s white
So he’s like my competition, I mean, right?
Nope!”

In the remaining verses, the debated “devil,” “demon,” “personified fame,” or “Slim Shady” begins to talk to Eminem to beg him to go back to his hardcore life of constantly rapping, writing, dissing, touring, drinking, and abusing drugs. People debate about who this voice is supposed to represent. For Eminem, I believe that he would want to bring more significance to the figure, rather than just saying that this fight is between him and an easy antagonist of many’s stories. At first, I thought the Slim Shady prediction could be true because of how dangerous that persona was to his life. I like to believe that the voice is in fact fame, trying to convince Eminem to let that darkness come out, perform in front of his fans, dye his hair, drink and show him that he can’t kill fame. Since Eminem got what he wished for, he is realizing now that he has to keep the fame no matter how much he tries to conceal it or kill it.

“You can’t kill a spirit even if you tried to
Ha-ha, you sold your soul to me, need I remind you?
You remember that night you prayed to God
You’d give anything to get a record deal? Well, Dre signed you
This is what you wanted your whole life, Marshall, right? Ooh
Look at this house, look at these cars: they’re so nice, woo!
Oh, but you didn’t know fame has a price too?
That you just now seeing the downside to
Lose your best friend from high school, your wife too
Ain’t even sure if your kids like you
Come off tour, can’t even sleep at night without NyQuil
Become a Valium addict, start a rehab cycle”

When I first heard this song, I couldn’t figure out why I was so attached to it and why I couldn’t stop listening to it. At first, I think I liked it because the argument between Eminem and fame was euphoniously appealing to me for whatever reason, even though it just sounds creepy. But the more I learn about this artist’s past and how underneath all of his diss tracks and attitude of “whateverness’ is a man who just wants to watch his daughters grow, the more I just want to listen to how he is expressing that to his audience and he is letting us see his vulnerability.