With the semester coming to a close and finals next week, it’s easy to feel like there’s so much to do and so little time to get things done. While the end of school is stressful and it might seem difficult to even find a free moment, taking breaks is so important. Breaks don’t have to be long, drawn out events where you just throw your hands up in the air and watch Netflix – even taking five minutes to step away from schoolwork can be helpful.

Deep breathing is a simple and effective way to take a break. It only takes a few minutes and is proven to lower blood pressure, aid in muscle relaxation, and decrease stress. Unlike other coping skills, there are no materials required – all you need is a little bit of time and patience.

So, you might be thinking, what exactly is deep breathing? How do I do it?

Deep breathing is a concentrated effort to control your breath. Sometimes referred to as diaphragmatic breathing, this practice involves slowly inhaling and allowing the air to create an expansive sensation your stomach, holding your breath for a few seconds, then gently exhaling, creating a feeling of emptiness in your system. While there’s no set “rules” for deep breathing, there are a few exercises that you can try. I’ll list them below, but ultimately, the counts you use and the duration of the breathing exercises are a matter of personal preference – I generally stop when I feel noticeably more relaxed then before.

1. 4-4-6 Breathing

This type of breathing is pretty self explanatory – inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, then exhale for six seconds. Ideally, with 4-4-6 breathing, or 5-7-8, or any combination of numbers, the goal is to slow your system down to the point that the breathing creates a sensation of calm and you feel more relaxed. Sometimes, I just stop counting and continue the exercise at my own pace, repeating the inhale, hold, exhale cycle.

2. Five Breath Cycles

With this type exercise, you take diaphragmatic breaths at your own pace, slowly inhaling and exhaling. During each exhale, count the number of breaths you’ve taken to yourself (one, two, three, etc.) up to five. Once you reach five breaths, start the counting over again. This type of breathing not only encourages slow, deliberate breaths, but requires a level of mindfulness or attention to the present moment through the counting process.

3. Alternate Nostril Breathing

This one sounds a little strange, but it’s very relaxing. With alternate nostril breathing, you use your thumb and index finger of your right hand, first placing your thumb on your right nostril. While holding your thumb on your right nostril, inhale through your left nostril, then, while exhaling, release your thumb and place your index finger on your left nostril. Inhale, switching to your right thumb, and repeat. After a few rounds of breath, you can switch to your left hand, practicing from the opposite direction as desired.

While those are a few of my favorites, there are so many different breathing exercises. You can check some of them out here if interested! Happy studying!

I’m a helpful person by nature. The second one of my friends tells me they are having a bad day or need my help, I’m there. I pride myself in that – I love being there for people. And truthfully, helping others feels reciprocal in a sense. You open your heart to someone else or do something kind and it gives you this feeling of knowing that you did something good.

For a long time, when I thought about helping people, I assumed that it had to be this direct effort, like “hey, I’m here and helping you.” However, sometimes you don’t even know the magnitude of your actions. You could do something knowing it feels good for you, hope it makes an impact on others, and never know what people really think. I’ve always found that kind of unsettling – the sense of not knowing how your words or actions are sitting once they’re out there. However, I’ve had several experiences over the past years where I have come to realize that ‘help’ or ‘support’ doesn’t always have to be this concerted effort to impact another person. Sometimes, it feels like a shot in the dark and slowly, the feedback follows.

I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder for several years. For most of high school, I kept my struggles to myself, so much so that even my parents didn’t realize what was going on. However, one night during my junior year, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and saw a post from a girl in my class who decided to go public about her experience with an eating disorder. I immediately stopped and started thinking, “I’m not the only one going through this.” It was the most validating experience I’d ever had. I thought about her post for a few days and decided to message her – I told her that I was struggling with an eating disorder as well, but was afraid to speak up. She offered to meet for coffee and talk, which inevitably ended up being the conversation that motivated me to tell my parents and begin seeking treatment. Her vulnerability was the help I needed – she said it was liberating for her to speak up, and her words were enough to encourage me to come to terms with my problem.

Now, a few years later, I share my story for the same reasons: it feels good and I know it can help people. Being vulnerable is terrifying and liberating at the same time – putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage, but using your voice and having people tell you that it made a difference for them makes it so worth it. I believe that if my story helps even one person, it’s worth sharing. If you’re reading this and thinking something you might want to share with people, I’d encourage you to go for it. I’m not saying you have to bare your soul, but being a little bit vulnerable can go a long way.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

For good measure, I’m going to attach a link to the first piece of writing where I really went for it. It was terrifying to submit it and watch it circulate the internet, but so many people reached out to me and told me it had helped them to either understand eating disorders or to feel less alone in their struggles – it was so cool!

Technology is incredible – it enables us to have the “world at our fingertips.” With the simple click of a button, you can reach someone, near or far, in a matter of seconds. Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram help people to connect with friends and family, creating a sense of community even among those who may reside in different areas. However, this level of connection and ease of communication with people from around the world has shifted from a convenience to an expectation. People are becoming increasingly attached to their phones and self-created online networks, which is great if that’s what a person wants to do, but to live life primarily from behind a phone screen is to not really live at all.

I used to be the kind of person who, without even consciously deciding to, would open Instagram immediately when using my phone. My thumb was so used to hitting that spot on my screen that even when I downloaded a new application and Instagram shifted on my home display, I continued to click the space where the app once was, feeling annoyed when I opened my calendar filled with responsibilities instead of a feed full of pictures of other people’s lives. It was during this time when I mindlessly turned to social media over and over again that I realized I might be a little too dependent on technology. In an effort to regain touch with the world around me, I decided to do a “digital detox.” I deleted all social media from my phone and  made an effort to reduce my phone use to occasions when it was necessary for communication since I was away from home.

My digital detox lasted about two months. In that time, I did so much more than take a break from the online world. Ditching social media helped me to be more in touch with my immediate surroundings. Instead of staring at my phone as I walked places, I started to notice little things I didn’t always see before, like the flowers that line sidewalks and the sound of birds early in the morning. I began to get creative with ways to fill my time and even now, I would still choose journaling or reading over scrolling through Facebook. While I have since redownloaded most of my social media, the notifications remain turned off because I’ve worked so hard to distance myself from that – I don’t need to be connected to the entire online community 24/7. It’s okay to take a break.

Deleting social media was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Even though I now use it on a regular basis, it takes up nowhere near as much time as it used to and I am able to balance enjoying technology with being mindful of my surroundings and remaining present in my own life. If you’re considering it or are just up for a challenge, I encourage you to give it a try! You may be surprised what you learn about yourself.

National Eating Disorders Awareness (NEDA) Week is February 26 – March 4, 2018. The theme this year is ‘Let’s Get Real,’ which is especially fitting for eating disorders because people often underestimate the severity of these illnesses. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses with life threatening physical complications and devastating psychological effects. While incredibly dangerous, with appropriate treatment and increased public awareness, full recovery is possible.

As a person recovering from an eating disorder, I am increasingly aware of the impact a lack of public awareness can have on an individual’s decision to seek help. The better people are educated, the easier it will be to recognize those who are at risk and assist them in seeking help. In the spirit of spreading awareness, I’d like to share a list of a few facts about eating disorders…

1.Eating disorders are NOT a choice. A person does not just decide to stop eating or choose an illness that comes with years of emotional pain and suffering. Eating disorders are a product of genetic and environmental influences. I’ve heard several professionals explain it like this — “genetics load the gun and the environment pulls the trigger.”

2. A person does not have to “look” sick to be extremely ill. Eating disorders do not have a “look.”  A person could be at or above a normal weight and still be suffering from this life threatening illness.

3. Eating disorders, while they may manifest in obsessions about food and the body, are not actually about food or weight. They are a type of maladaptive coping mechanism, meaning they emerge as a response to stress or something in a person’s environment.

4. People often think that eating disorders affect young, upper middle-class, white females while, in reality, they can affect anyone of any age, race, gender, ethnicity, or background.

5. The most common causes of death among people with eating disorders are suicide and medical complications. Prolonged use of eating-disordered behaviors can cause heart failure, kidney issues, and other serious medical issues.

6. Recovering from an eating disorder is a lengthy process with treatment spanning 3-7 years on average. People don’t develop eating disorders overnight and because these conditions often emerge over the course of several years, recovery takes time.

7. People with eating disorders require a multidisciplinary team that often includes a therapist, dietitian, medical doctor, and other professionals to support their recovery.

8. Eating disorders are serious medical conditions that should be treated with the same attention as any other health problem. People often dismiss eating disorders as something that is totally mental, but just because they are mental illnesses doesn’t mean they don’t have physical consequences.

9. Eating disorders are NOT a product of the media. The media sends messages that promote diet culture and negative body images, but there is no singular cause for eating disorders.

10. While it seems simple to the average person, a person with an eating disorder can’t “just eat.” Overcoming this fear takes a lot of work and time. However, with time, it does get easier.

For more info, check out NEDA’s website: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

Mental illness affects one out of every four American adults and suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students, however, 18-24 year olds are the least likely to seek help for mental health concerns. Stigma largely influences the public perception of mental health and can leave people suffering from mental illnesses feeling lonely and ashamed.

While CAPS, Healthy Penn State, and organizations such as Active Minds and Lions for Recovery work to spread mental health awareness and provide resources to students on campus, it doesn’t take joining a club to be a mental health advocate. Every time people speak up, the stigma becomes a little less powerful. One of the biggest barriers to people having conversations about mental health is misconceptions. Because these conversations don’t occur on a regular basis, the general public’s knowledge of mental health conditions is limited.

As a mental health advocate, I know that one way I can help is by challenging the “stereotypes” and attitudes about mental health that often keep people from seeking help. I’ve put together a list of a few misconceptions below:

1. “Mental illness is a choice.”

People do not choose to develop mental illnesses. Likewise, they can’t “just stop” having a panic attack or “get over” depression. Mental health conditions, much like physical health conditions,  often require treatment, such as therapy or medication.

2. “If a person doesn’t look ‘sick,’ then they must be fine.”

Mental illness does not have a “look!” Just because a person isn’t sobbing in a corner doesn’t mean they don’t have depression and anxiety doesn’t always manifest in a visual way. Even eating disorders can be missed if you just focus on appearance. Mental illnesses, while they may be visible at times, are often invisible conditions (as in unable to be seen by others). That doesn’t make them any less real – they are very real and often feel lonely because people can’t see the struggle.

3. “People with mental illnesses are crazy.”

Even if you don’t understand what someone else is going through, it doesn’t mean it isn’t real or valid. Telling someone they are “crazy,” even in a joking way, can make a person less likely to seek help.

4. “Asking for help is weak and shows that you can’t handle things.”

Asking for help, while difficult, is one of the bravest things a person can do. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge that things aren’t okay and take steps towards change. Recovery from a mental health condition is possible, and with the right treatment, things can and will get better.

When working to alleviate the stigma surrounding mental illness, it’s important to not only speak openly, but to be supportive of others who choose to speak up or reach out. Mental illness can happen to anyone at any time and it is nothing to be ashamed of… the more we talk about it, the less alone people who are struggling will feel.

Sources:

http://www.activeminds.org/issues-a-resources/the-issue

http://www.thisisinsider.com/why-saying-crazy-affects-those-mental-illness-2017-11

With the semester in full-swing and the first wave of exams upon us, it’s natural to feel a little stressed. We all deal with stress differently; maybe you even deal with different kinds of stress in different ways. Something that seems to be overlooked in college, however, is the value of taking time to practice self-care and de-stress. It’s easy to fall into the workaholic, “sleep is for the weak” culture that spreads like wildfire on college campuses, and a lot harder to actually take a pause and do something kind for yourself.

Everyone has their thing, and I’m sure that how I like to manage stress or take a break isn’t necessarily the norm, but it works for me. It took a long time to find some stress management strategies and coping skills that I liked, and while I was looking for some effective skills, I found it helpful to ask around and hear what friends liked to do. Managing stress is important to preserving overall health and well-being. I find that when I build in time to “take a break” and de-stress, I am more productive and efficient… I spend less time procrastinating because I don’t feel as burnt out or overwhelmed.

After my long search for the best stress management skills out there, I finally culminated a list of things that work for me:

1. Crocheting – If you’re looking to embrace your inner 80 year-old or have anxious hands, this one is for you. When I’m really stressed, I struggle to sit still, and crocheting gives me a chance to sit down, but also stay busy in a pretty mindless way. It’s not too hard to learn (it took me a week), it can be done while watching TV or listening to music, and can make for some pretty cool gifts.

2. Journaling – This one is great for those times when things feel so overwhelming that you just need to take a moment to process everything. Whether it’s talking about what’s stressing you out in life, writing sappy poetry, or writing about nothing relevant at all, putting the pen to the paper can be a great release and escape. I may be a bit biased because I write for fun, but like I said earlier: what works for me may not necessarily work for you.

3. Netflix – I love to watch Netflix when I’m feeling the stress and need something to take my mind off things. Getting out of my head and into the storyline of a show like Grey’s Anatomy or Gilmore Girls is a fun way to take a break.

4. Yoga – Even if I don’t have the time to attend a full class, taking a few minutes out of my day to do some simple yoga postures and practice mindfulness helps me to relax and stay in the moment.

While I know that what works for me isn’t what works for everyone, I like to share in hopes that someone finds something they’d like to try. What’s your go-to in times of stress?

I love routine. And by love, I mean I really LOVE the concrete, predictable, consistencies of everyday life. Some people get bored, but I thrive on the sameness of my daily schedule – having the same thing for breakfast, hanging out with the same friends, and even studying in the same locations all week. The familiarity is relaxing… it doesn’t get old. But, the thing is, nothing in life is constant – we live in an ever-changing world.

For me, college was a huge change. At first, it felt horrible. Like really, who thought that going to school and leaving the first 18 years of your life behind was a good idea?

The truth is, college is nothing like that. We don’t just “forget” the life we’ve lived and the experiences that have shaped us into the people we are – we turn the page. It’s like a chapter book illustrating a beautiful story, except in this case, that story is life. What kind of a book would it be if we never turned the page?

Like the plot of a story, our lives are constantly in motion. Change is the momentum that allows for personal development. I can’t say it’s easy for me, but I am working to look at life transitions as important pieces of my story – pieces that foster growth, knowledge, and self-awareness.

Every day, I can tell that my life is evolving – my interests have changed, I’ve learned more about myself and my values, and I take greater pleasure in the little things. Sure, there are times when I look back and wish I could have a second chance at growing up, a chance to focus on the important things and live in the moment, but there’s no “rewind” button on life – you can’t go back.

All of the change in the past few months has taught me a thing or two. It’s shown me that I have so much to be thankful for and instead of looking back with regret, it has given me a chance to let those once “normal” parts of my routine shape my new reality. Sure, I don’t wake up, drive a mile down the road, go to school, do homework, and repeat, but I will always be the girl who looked forward to hearing her dad get home from work, hung out with mom before dinner, chatted with the principal before school, and loved nothing more than a movie night with friends… I am still that girl, I’ve just grown up.

Change proves that we’re ready and capable of moving on. When we spend time looking back on the past or focusing on the future, we miss out on the present moment. If I kept living the past, I’d miss out on all the great opportunities Penn State has to offer – learning new things, meeting new people, and making memories. Like Meredith Grey says, “life is like a carousel – it never stops turning.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m along for the ride!

No, I’m not perfect nor do I attest to being anything close to it, but I am aware. Like many young women, I am insecure and struggle to feel comfortable in my own skin. When someone gives me a compliment, I have to stop, think, and analyze the truth in the statement rather than just accepting it. It’s something I need to work on. I know. But, with that being said, I know I’m not alone in my insecurities. After thinking about it, I’ve determined, that at least from my personal experience, the tendency to focus on our flaws rather than assets is largely due to societal influences. From a young age, we’re taught to fixate on what we need to change about ourselves rather than appreciate who we are.

While the content of my conversations has changed over the years, self-deprecation has remained a constant in interactions with my peers. It’s rare to get through a day without hearing “I’m so fat,” “I look gross,” or “I’m so stupid.” In a sense, it’s socially acceptable – actually, it’s a social norm. It would be considered strange or even conceited to say something positive amongst a sea of negativity. As women, we bond over our shortcomings – we feel pressured to point out our flaws but hesitate to acknowledge positive assets… My question is, when did being confident in your own skin become such a bad thing?

What is so crazy or unusual about being happy with yourself? Imagine how different of a conversation it would be if people were comfortable saying, “I really like my outfit today” or “I tried something new with my hair and I think it looks nice.” Being confident or real isn’t something to be ashamed of… just because other people feel inclined to point out their flaws doesn’t mean you have to join in on the self-deprecation party. As a matter of fact, practicing self-acceptance and gratitude could actually have a positive effect on relationships. By being willing to acknowledge your positive assets in social situations, you are not only helping yourself, but creating an environment where others can feel comfortable doing the same.

For years, people have told me that self-love is the greatest revolution – and it’s true. How are we supposed to appreciate and support others if we can’t do the same for ourselves? It’s important to find things you like about yourself, even if, like me, you tend to focus on your flaws. Sure, it’s much easier to jump in when your friends are bashing their bodies and minimizing their minds, but rising above that social pressure is more fulfilling. Efforts to develop a positive self-image can lead to a happier, more satisfying life where instead of focusing on what you need to change, you can use your strengths for good. That’s not that a lifelong habit of commiserating over insecurities is going to change overnight, but it’s worth at least considering what it would be like to lift yourself and other up the next time you find yourself in a conversation that’s bringing people down.

“‘i love myself.’

the

quietest.

simplest.

most

powerful.

revolution.

ever.”

– Nayyirah Waheed

If you’re anything like me, you care about doing well. You have high standards for yourself, and even higher aspirations for the future. Every grade, every assignment matters… anything to get that ‘A.’

College is different. The classes are hard, the stakes are high, and when you’re studying for that big exam, morale is at an all-time low. You’re doomed. You might only be able to pull off a ‘B’… the dreaded ‘B.’ At this rate, your chances at success in life are history… without a 4.0, you can’t do anything. No one will want to hire you and you’ll never get your PhD. It’s over…

BUT it’s not.

Take a breath, take a step back, and take a look at the bigger picture.

Your GPA is just a number.

That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. But really, it is IMPOSSIBLE to define a person by a number on paper. Numbers cannot measure the glow of your smile or the power of your mind. All GPA can do is reflect mastery of content. Mastery, however, is NOT perfection. If we were perfect at everything, what would there be to learn?

Failure is not doom.

As a perfectionistic, success-oriented individual, I often finding myself viewing exams, and challenges in life for that matter, as situations with limited outcomes: success or failure. But, what defines success? What qualifies as a failure? Is failure a shortcoming or a lack of effort?

While it’s corny, you have to remember that you are doing the best you can. If you are putting forth your best effort in that very moment, it is enough.

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. – Denis Waitley

If one way doesn’t work, it’s never too late to take a new direction.

Lies, lies, lies… Seriously though, there is always another option. Sure, things don’t always turn out the way we plan, and sometimes they go so terribly wrong that it seems like nothing can fix it. But, just because it doesn’t work out one way doesn’t mean that’s the only way. Have a little faith. Get creative. The “normal” path isn’t necessarily the only road. If you hit a bump and need to take a detour, IT IS OKAY. What even is “normal” anyways?

It’s not a destination, but a journey.

“It” is a lot of things: success, happiness, healing, growth… we are forever changing. When you put all of your energy into single outcome, you lose sight of the present moment. Rather than thinking about what’s next, why not think about what you can do in the here and now? There’s so much beauty in the process of reaching goals, but goals aren’t the end-all. Sure, achievement is awesome, but if you’re going to fixate on what you can do next rather than enjoying how far you’ve come, it’s easy to take things for granted.

Life isn’t make or break and there is no formula for success… it’s different for everyone. Grades aren’t everything, mistakes help us grow, and if you’re willing to take a new direction rather than just giving up, the journey can be truly beautiful. And so, I leave you with this…

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill

Until Next Time,

Hal