Ice Princess: Views from a Real Skater

Have any of you ever watched the Disney movie Ice Princess? Well, as you can expect from any Disney film, Ice Princess is a lofty, totally unrealistic story of trial and triumph that concludes with the protagonist becoming a competitive, qualifying figure skater (despite only being on the ice for a matter of months). She reaches her goal of becoming an amazing skater, ditches her chances at being an Ivy League academic, and gets the cute guy (who also happens to be the rink’s Zamboni driver and the son of “ice bitch” coach Tina Harwood).

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Synopsis:

According to the Disney franchise:

“Though she longs to become a graceful champion figure skater, gawky Casey Carlyle has always been just a brainy high school misfit. And with a strong-willed mother pushing her toward a top university, it seems as if she’ll never get the chance to be like the elite skating prodigies she sees at the rink. But when Casey uses her head and follows her heart, she’ll find herself transformed beyond her wildest dreams!”

The film tells the story of Casey Carlyle, a high school physics genius with intentions of going to Harvard. At the persuasion of her physics teacher, Casey decides to apply for an elite physics scholarship that will surely improve her future academic pursuits. After struggling to find a topic for her project, Casey finally sees the light while watching competitive figure skating on television (noted by the absurdly geeky statement, “You know, I bet there’s a precise aerodynamic formula involved with figure skating”). She then stumbles into her local ice rink and begins videotaping several high-level skaters, much to the annoyance of coaches and parents. Eventually. Casey decides to put on a pair of skates and experience physics herself, leading to her miraculously becoming a gifted ice skater. She goes on to compete in numerous high level events (most of which are horribly mistaken qualifying competitions) and places in the top spots along the way.

Best quotes:

“You know, I bet there’s a precise aerodynamic formula.”

“Tres harsh.”

“Look, I’m sorry, but when the CIA wants to learn new dirty tricks they observe figure skaters and their moms.”

“I’m the Jumping Shrimp. My mom had it copyrighted.”

“She’s got eyes in the back of her horns.”

“Just can’t keep off the ice, can ya?”

Reception:

The movie got a 52% “rotten” score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 6/10 on IMDb, so its reception was a bit iffy. According to a Rotten Tomatoes reviewer, “There are far too many cringe-inducing clichés and gaping plot holes.” Another states, “It’s formulaic stuff, but the film treats the conflicts seriously and possesses a sweet demeanor.” However, some viewers had a rather negative stance not just on the plot line, but on the film’s message as well. A flustered contributor stated on Common Sense Media that “this movie is pretty innocuous on the surface, but the message is incredibly wrong for this era’s young people. A very intelligent girl – highly gifted in math and science – is portrayed as making a good choice to pursue a VERY unrealistic dream of ice skating, mostly to flaunt what is percieved as her mother’s dream that she go to Harvard.”

From the perspective of a legitimate ice skater, this movie is absolutely ludicrous, from its view on the skating world to the life of a world-level figure skater. There is absolutely no way that these events could happen in real life. Plus, for being super smart, Casey does some pretty dumb things. Walking onto the ice during a busy, high-level freestyle session? I don’t think so.Videotaping an argument between a coach and skater? Common sense, Casey! Skating while the Zamboni is cutting a new sheet of ice? You will get yelled at (and squished to death).

The competitions this movie portrayed were also terribly researched. You don’t need to qualify for Regionals. Anyone can go and compete. However, while competing in Regionals, you qualify/don’t qualify for Sectionals. Then from Sectionals, you can qualify for Nationals. Then Nationals to Worlds – or the Olympics if an Olympic year. Also, there is no such thing as Junior Regionals, Disney! You already went to Regionals anyway, so what are you doing competing there again in the same season?! So wrong in so many ways.

Furthermore, I have no idea how they roped Michelle Kwan, a 9-time Nationals champion and a freaking Olympian, into doing this movie. She played the part of a commentator and looked pained the entire time. I can totally see her thinking, “The money I’m getting for saying this shit better be worth it, man.” *rolls eyes as she tries not to gag*

Clearly, my opinion about this movie is extremely hater-esque, but that’s because I’m a part of this awesome fantasy world of ice. If you enjoy painfully sappy movies with artistic movements and ice thrown into the mix, Ice Princess could be the perfect film for you!

 

Sources:

Ice Princess (film)

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/ice-princess

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ice_princess

http://movies.disney.com/ice-princess

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