Labels: Helpful or Hurtful

One of the controversial topics within the LGBTQA+ community is the use of labels. Some find labels as a helpful tool towards explaining who they are. These people believe that the labels we have fought so hard to get need to be respected.  Others however, refuse to use labels and consider them to be undermining who they are as an individual. Labels also bring out an expectation towards a specific sexuality that is not always true. I also know a few people who use multiple labels to describe themselves to society. Most heterosexuals don’t walk around constantly having to explain who they are so why should the gay community?

As a member of this wonderful community, I lean towards the removal of labels. Everyone is an individual and I feel that labels try to fit everyone into a “perfect box” that is never accurate. Sexuality is also something that changes drastically over time especially during high school and college years. There have been plenty of times in my life where I have tried to force myself into a label in order to become more accepted by society. Now being older and more in tune with whom I am as a person I have realized that I will never fit into one of “society’s” labels. I also don’t feel that one aspect of my life should influence who people view me as let alone anybody else. Labels only exemplify this influence and can indirectly lead to discrimination.  Everyone has a challenge within their life. This just happens to be one of mine. That doesn’t mean that just because I am gay I am not able to work hard (something I have been told before). Then again, why do I have to feel bad about who I am?

One of my best friends has a unique take on labels within the LGBTQA+ community. He feels that specific labels are useful in some situations and not with others. He believes in using the basic term “gay” with those he is unfamiliar with and will go into detail as he feels fit. I do feel that this is a pretty good compromise but I still feel that no one should have to define themselves into a category, even if they are comfortable with it.

There are dozens of labels for those who decide to use them. With around 25.6 million Americans (11% ) currently identifying as LBGTQA+, I feel that learning about labels is a necessity in order to educate yourself about the community. In this instance I feel that labels are useful. I am going to go through some of the most common labels, define them and explain some of the controversy behind them.

There are four main “categories” of LGBTQA+ labels: Monosexual (Lesbian, Gay), Polysexual (Bisexual, Queer, ect…), Asexual (Ace, Demisexual), and Gender Identity/Expression (Trans, ect…).

Gay– Although this is typically defined as a male exclusively attracted to other males, I have also heard it used as a generalization of anyone who is attracted to the same sex. The use of homosexual in this instance is quickly becoming considered a medical or scientific term and I don’t think it should be used in casual conversation.

Lesbian– A female who exclusively dates other females

Bisexual– Someone who is attracted to members of both the same and opposite sex. Although this is the most popular label used by those who identify as LGBTQA+, many people don’t view bisexuality as an actual thing. I have talked to a few women who identify as bi who have said that they are often seen as objects to men and undateable to women due to their identification.

Pansexual– Someone who is attracted to a person regardless of their gender. This is also known as Omnisexuality. Omnisexuals are often fueled by emotion and don’t have a specific type. I do know some Pansexuals on the other hand, often have a specific type and are attracted to people with that trait regardless of gender.

Queer– This label is still considered pretty offensive by parts of the community. It is merely a way to describe a person within the community. I strongly recommend not using this term unless someone has openly identified this way.

Asexual– Someone who is not sexually attracted to any gender. A common misconception people make about asexuals is that it is the same as celibacy. The difference between the two is that one is a choice and the other is an orientation that cannot be turned off when convenient. It is very possible to be an asexual and to not be celibate. Others believe that asexuals cannot fall in love or be in a committed relationship. In reality, most want every aspect of a relationship and just don’t happen to feel a sexual connection with their partners.

Transgender– Someone who’s gender doesn’t correspond with the way they identify themselves. There are nearly 700,000 people living publicly as transgender in the U.S. Transgendered people often undergo surgery to reflect who they are out the outside. This is however, not always the case and every person’s story is unique. Besides Trans, there are around 50 other terms used to describe gender most of which, people fail to understand.

At the end of the day, no one is going to be able to memorize the different variations of sexuality and fluidity that occur within the LGBTQA+ community or gain a complete understanding of what they mean. Everyone is an individual and should be treated as such. It is best to let an individual tell you the way they identify. If they are against labels such as me, don’t force them to choose one. Be supportive regardless of the label and love each other for who you are. So are labels helpful are hurtful? The answer is up to you.