Sit with her.
Sit at the table and listen
Listen to the children laugh
Like the laugh track played on sitcoms.
Repeated.
Fraudulent.
Wrong.
Sit at the table and watch
The puppets smile.
Tug the corner of their lips with string
Watch it rise and fall
Watch their exhausted expressions drop.
Watch them smile again.
And again…
And again.
Watch a room of your family
Shuffling anxiously
And moving cautiously because
The elephant in the room is invisible
But still there.
Don’t run into it.
Just sit.
Sit with her,
As the laughter gets too loud.
Sit,
As the smiles become too big.
Sit,
As the children start to grow
And start to understand.
Sit with her.
Sit as the laughter starts to fade away.
As death creeps up from behind
And locks its fist around your throat.
And silence overcomes the laughs.
And everybody loses their step,
And you’re all just sitting on the ground.
Sit with her until she’s gone.
Sit alone.
Sit when the smiles return.
When the laughs begin booming; again.
When everybody’s
Pulling themselves up from the rubble of grief
You remain buried under.
When everybody returns to normal.
When they’re all watching,
Waiting for you to join them.
When everybody’s regained their balance.
When everybody’s standing on two feet.
When everybody’s standing.
Sit.