Trailblazer by Nicole Koch

Remember when we were children.
I was the baby and you the big brother
Nuzzled in your queen sized bed
Fumbling fingers through golden paged fairy tales,
On Christmas Eve we’d search for lost
Elves who you promised were out there
Searching and finding lost virtues.

Before we gave up believing and began
Diving into new vices you swore and I swore
Five years from now the age gap would close
Like the space between my two buck teeth and
Fade like the swollen pimples on your shoulders
And back making room for new memories

Like the first time I took the train to 30th street
Station, I was sitting in a brick windowsill
When a women with a face as worn as a paper bag
Asked if she could bum my left head phone
When I said no she said a ten would suffice,
All the while you were waiting in the car
With a beer and a smile and the Illadelph bowl packed
That I cracked five years later like all your Birthday gifts
I promised wouldn’t fall

How you did
Because of that year you couldn’t find home,
I became convinced your morality was lost
With that girl who you taught how to love
Yet never loved you back. Still the age gap folds
With all the homes you’ve broken while waiting
For me to be ready to make you into a new character
In a new place and a new time.