- Intro
- Attention getter: Are female athletes capable of performing at the same level as their male counterparts?
- Identify artifact: This past summer, the French national team created a video advertisement, prior to the FIFA World Cup, to highlight talented female athletes and the bias that exists in sports.
- Thesis: This commercial demonstrates the inequality that is present in women’s sports, while also celebrating the accomplishments of female athletes.
- Preview: The key pieces that will be analyzed are the text, the use of VFX, the camera angles, and the audio tracks that are used.
Transition: Female athletes are fighting to receive the same respect as their male counterparts, but it is difficult when their abilities are constantly questioned.
- First Set of Arguments
- Claim: The commercial illustrates how male athletes are thought to be superior and more entertaining than female athletes.
- Evidence: The text displayed after the thrilling plays read, “Only Les Blues can give us these emotions, but that’s not them you’ve just seen”.
- Reasoning: Les Blues is the nickname given to the French men’s national team. The first few clips showed notable male soccer players blazing by defenders, firing amazing shots, and executing challenging footwork. The implication is that women’s sports are not as interesting. The ending line of “ but that’s not them you’ve just seen creates a feeling of suspense.
- Claim: The commercial educates viewers on the power and skill that female athletes possess.
- Evidence: The commercial shows that VFX was used to turn female soccer players into famous male soccer players.
- Reasoning: The beginning of the commercial shows how excited crowds got when the male players scored an amazing goal or beat a defender. Revealing that the athletes were women is meant to highlight that women’s sports can be as exhilarating and exciting as men’s sports. It is also meant to end the stigma that women aren’t as tough or physically fit as their male counterparts.
- Claim: The commercial illustrates how male athletes are thought to be superior and more entertaining than female athletes.
This is really good. I would only say that the wording of your thesis is a little confusing. I had to read it twice to figure out that the “is” does make sense instead of using “are.” I liked how concise your preview was. With the reasoning for your first claim, maybe elaborate more on the implications about women’s sports. Overall, really solid outline.
This outline is very well thought out, and your evidence and reasoning support your claims very well. The only two things that I would say is that I think you can use more contractions, especially “it’s” instead of “it is,” and less heavy descriptive words. While your outline is written very well and flows well while reading it, I think that some of the sentences would be more overwhelming to the ears than others. I struggle with this problem as well. Everything else that you have written is really good, as I’m sure the rest of the outline will be!