I’ve been filling out forms for what seems like my entire life. Whether they were applications for college or research opportunities, signing up to be a volunteer or simply confirming my attendance at an event, my identity has been harvested and catalogued countless times throughout my life by organizations, clubs and individuals. I never gave much thought to this process, mindlessly selecting words that described me from a categorical drop-down menu. As a cisgender woman who uses she/her pronouns, I have always enjoyed the privilege of the drop-down menu, never having to explain my gender or pronouns routinely or forfeiting an accurate portrayal of myself for the sake of convenience. However, not everyone has the luxury of feeling accurately represented by the binary options presented in these types of situations.

The obvious solution would be to expand gender identity and pronoun options when this information is asked for, or even to allow individuals to

fill in their own identity if it is not listed. Unfortunately, not everyone is on the same page with creating a more inclusive environment. The most common argument I hear is that there are “too many different identities” and that new terms are being “created” faster than people can keep up with them. Are there a lot of identity-defining terms that exist today? Well, yes. With about 7.7 billion people alive in the world, it seems unreasonable to assume that such tremendous diversity can be accurately accounted for with a simple 2-3 option menu. Additionally, pronouns that transcend the gender binary were not simply pulled out of thin air. In a very similar way to how she/her and he/him pronouns were created to express one’s identity in the third person, individuals who do not resonate with these terms may wish to curate a different set of terms so that they might have themselves accurately represented as we all have a right to be.

Humans have always used language as our primary tool for communication. We created languages (many of them!) and adapted them to reflect our modern world as our technology and understanding of the world developed. We developed these communication tools largely due to the fact that, at our core, we are highly social beings that seek companionship and understanding. In order to accomplish this ambitious goal of interpersonal communication, it is essential that we have inclusive ways to refer to each other and represent our identities. We are constantly memorizing song-lyrics to sing along with our friends and noting the names and intricate life details of our favorite athletes and celebrities whom we admire. Might we extend the same courtesy to nonbinary, genderqueer and all those who identify outside of the gender binary so that we can show them that same human decency that we demonstrate by remembering peoples’ names?

Considering the essential role that inclusive pronouns and gender identity play in validating individual’s identities, you may find yourself wondering how one person can challenge the gender-binary status quo. The good news is it’s not actually that difficult. By regularly asking people for their pronouns and giving yours to others, we can work towards normalizing this crucial exchange of identity-based information and create a world that is safer and more accommodating towards nonbinary and transgender people. Even an act as simple as adding your pronouns to your bio on social media can go a long way in showing allyship and letting people know that you care about their identity and are a safe person for them to talk to.

We have created, evolved and mastered language since the dawn of human-kind. It’s about time we use it to make the world a kinder and more accepting place!