(very rough) INTRODUCTION:
As censorship in southern states like Florida, Texas, and South Carolina reaches dystopian levels with record numbers of banned books, “Don’t Say Gay” laws, and anti-Critical Race Theory curriculum, schools are being fortified to withstand every possible perceived danger – except the one that is taking tens of thousands of lives every year. As we endlessly debate the pros and cons of gun control legislature and wait for lawmakers to leisurely enact change as they see fit, the clock is ticking in real time for those who are actually victims of gun violence; in this case, they’re innocent children. Regardless of the political ramifications that gun control would create, immediate change is necessary if only because there are lives being taken every day and because we need to shift the focus from trivial social issues to real life crises.
SPEECH OUTLINE:
- Teacher sent to office for having children’s book. Student takes mom’s gun and walks into school.
- Analyzing background of artifact.
- Connecting it to patriotism, nostalgia (commonplaces).
- Analyzing faces of children.
- Tying it to SDGs.
- Not a political statement.
- Conclusion.
- Thank you.
SECOND ARTIFACT:
I really liked your introduction, largely because you don’t shy away from using big/controversial terms like “CRT” and “Don’t Say Gay.” When these are used, I feel like they immediately capture attention, making us want to read more. The lens it seems like you’re viewing this through is obviously ideological criticism, but I think you also could incorporate lots of public memory into this as well (when the reader went to primary school and the safety they felt). I think your structure for your speech is really good too and flows really nicely.
I really like this introduction, highlighting some politicians’ lax disposition towards gun control but intense focus on what counts as “indoctrination” in our schools. This is a topic I was considering for my own speech so I’m so glad someone else is doing it. Excited hear more about this essay/speech.
I think that this is a great start to your essay, and I think you only need a few more things to make it even better. The beginning and your general summary of how messed up American policymaking has become in the past few years is great, and I liked how you leaned in more to the effects of gun violence with your second artifact. The only thing that I felt could be added would be more analysis or a general description of your artifacts.