Some Reflection…
When was the first time you were separated from your parents for an extended amount of time? Maybe you were staying at grandma’s house for the night or maybe it was your first day of preschool or kindergarten. Do you remember how you reacted or how your parents recall you reacted? Psychology tells us that how every human is born with an innate need for social interaction and attachment.
Infantile Attachment
As humans, we rely on bodily contact to form social connections at younger ages as opposed to forming connections with those who provide nourishment. Once we are born, we all seek attachment but unfortunately, sometimes that is not always the case. Recall to the questions I asked before and try to remember how you reacted when this connection with your parents was detached. While with almost every child there is distress upon separation, with most children, the return of their caregiver comforts them almost immediately. With children that have a more insecure attachment with their caregiver, they will continue to be in distress once reunited. Regardless, when children are neglected from making any connection whatsoever at a young age, they potentially may grow up withdrawn, frightened, or unable to develop speech.
How Parenting Impacts Development (Usually)
When growing up and developing these relationships with their caregivers, children may be parented in an authoritarian, permissive, and/or authoritative manner. This is when a parent may be very strict, submissive, or a mix between the two respectively. Commonly, when a child develops in an authoritarian environment, they potentially develop lower self-esteem. In a permissive household where their every need is provided, children may not develop enough self-reliance throughout their childhood. While this isn’t confirmed, consistently we see that in households that uphold authoritative parenting with a mix of both benefit the child the most by giving them more social competence.
I think you did an excellent job describing the different parenting styles and infantile attachment. I also liked how you started off by asking us to reflect on our own personal experiences. I remember my first day of kindergarten. My mom dropped me off in the morning and I did not want to go whatsoever. She walked me to the classroom door and I immediately clung to her leg. The teacher came over and introduced herself, and tried to get me to come in the classroom but I refused to let go of my mom. As soon as my mom left I began to cry, and I vividly remember sitting at a table sobbing because I missed my mom and was in an unfamiliar environment. My experience definitely supports the claim in your post that states humans are born with an innate need for attachment and social interaction.