Experience Changes the Way You Perceive
Every Tuesday and Thursday, I go to Psychology class. Every time I attend Psychology class, I learn something interesting and worth sharing. One thing I have noticed around the classroom and in lecture is the idea of experience changing the way we (humans) perceive things.
The idea that one person perceives the same experience in a totally different light isn’t just an idea- it’s a fact.
Think about it: every person is born and raised differently. Not to mention, everyone has an entirely different biological and chemical makeup.
This idea can be backed up by many personal anecdotes; everyday we perceive situations [differently than our peers or family members] based of our experiences- whether it be subconsciously or consciously.
One personal example I thought to share is related to my experience as an only child. Majority of my friends from pre-kindergarten school, elementary school, middle school, and high school have a sibling or multiple siblings.
When I was younger, I begged for siblings. I loved going to my friends’ houses just to see what having a sibling (or siblings) was like. To me, having a sibling was having an automatic way of having a friend to hang out with and talk to all of the time. However, I quickly picked up on the fact that literally none of my friends felt the way I felt. Occasionally, one of my friends would change the typical “No you don’t want siblings. I hate them,” into, “I don’t hate them, they’re just the worst.” Occasionally.
In reality, I honestly didn’t understand: how could you “get” a sibling and not want to hang out with them all of the time?
Now, I realize that my experiences with my friends and their siblings were always good ones due to the fact of them being playdates. All we had to do was watch a movie or play hide-and-go-seek for two/three hours before I went home. My experiences were always fun. However, when I went home, my friend was still with her sibling. I understand now that when you have a sibling, there’s no escape. That’s the difference and the reason I perceive siblings in a different light than people who actually have siblings.
I have a very similar experience to you. I grew up as an only child until I was about 11. Before then, I begged my mom for siblings but she told me she needs a husband first. It would make me sad sometimes because I would have no one to play with. All of my friends have siblings and almost all of them are not the oldest. Once my mom had kids, I was so excited to babysit and change diapers. My friends thought this was so strange. “Who would want to change diapers..?” they would say to me. I couldn’t even give them an answer they would understand because I have been so lonely being the only kid in the house. The things that they found so annoying about their siblings was fun and exciting to me. I always say to my friends that I wish I had older siblings so I could be best friends with them. Since I am 11-15 years older than all of my siblings, I wished so badly to have someone older than me to watch over me the way I did for my siblings. My friends would tell me I am insane and that older siblings were the worst every. To me, I perceive all of their older siblings as the nicest, coolest people ever. I realize that’s only because they are nice and cool around me. They wouldn’t treat me the same if I was their sibling I am sure. To me its so fascinating how different people see things when it comes to families. You never truly know peoples relationship with their siblings or even parents since we see it in a whole other light. I learned that the way I have always perceived my friends siblings isn’t realistic and a completely different situation than the way me and my young siblings are to each other.