When I was younger my mom was very much an authoritarian type of parent. An authoritarian is a parent that makes most or all of their rules non-negotiable. I feel that she often over inserted herself into my choices and whatever she said goes, she did not often allow for feedback or even give any kind of justification or reasoning as to why I had to do certain things or not do others. This included the grades I had to maintain, the programs I could join, sports were mandatory (though to be honest I did not mind this one as much), and even made me play the clarinet (this one I minded a lot). But, I did it all with little to no complaint because I knew it would be futile. It wasn’t until somewhere around high school where I noticed her attempt to transition into more of an authoritative parent , which is a parent that has structure but also room for discussion. I had more freedom in what activities and sports I wanted to participate in, while grades were still expected to be in the honor roll at a minimum, but she let me decide my college plans with only advice no rules. And I don’t feel that until college did that transition complete and I think it is mostly because she had little to no choice on what I do for the most part. But, she is not permissive, which is where rules are more of a suggestion, because I still have expectations, I just get to decide more how I accomplish them.
6 thoughts on “My mom’s parenting”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I thought that this was a very enlightening paragraph. By taking to concepts we learn in class and applying them to your life can be helpful in order to understand where your mom was coming from. Also, this was a very personal story to you and by sharing it you are helping others learn about their parent’s actions. Compared to my upbringning where I had a very permissive relationship. My parents were very open to letting me choose what I wanted to do. We both ended up in the same college despite the different styles of parenting we received. I think this shows how much other factors play into our decisions. such as friends and other family members.
This blog post is something that I can definitely relate to. Before taking this course, I wasn’t really educated on the different types of parenting styles, but I could tell that my parents had different styles than my friends’ parents. Although my parents have always treated me as my own person capable of making my own decisions, they did have strong standards that I was expected to match. Similar to this post, I did not have a choice to not make the honor roll with my grades, and I was expected to do something that kept me active. I also had to be a well- rounded person, with involvements with things outside of school such as girl scouts or volunteering. I do think that this sides with a more authoritarian parenting style. However, as I became older and more responsible, I think I began to earn my parents’ trust. This is when the parenting style transitioned to a more authoritative style. They recognized me as a young adult, and knew that I needed to make my own mistakes and also needed to be able to succeed and push myself on my own. I feel that this transition is common for many kids.
I can relate to this post a lot. My parents were definitely authoritarian when my brother and I were growing up. My brother is three years older than me, so I got to see how that parenting style worked as my brother became a teenager and wanted more freedom. They still remained mostly authoritarian as he went through high school and graduated, but I noticed them changing more as I got older. As I got older, they transitioned more towards an authoritative style, and listened to me more.
I relate a lot to this post because my parents were also very authoritarian. When I was younger I was disciplined for every thing that I did that was wrong. I would be punished for any bad behavior and it would give me the time to contemplate and make me realize what I had done was wrong. Their parenting style was very helpful because it allowed me to be more respectful and show class towards others. Now I am mature and aware of what is right and wrong because of how I was raised.
Becoming a parent is a difficult task. Not only do you have to prepare for the birth of a child, but once you have the child, you have to raise him/her in such a way that your child does not grow up to be such a hardship. This all depends on the parenting style you choose and how the child responds to this style. Like this post, my parents chose the same style of being hard on me while young, and gradually easing up on me as I got older was definitely the best choice for me. I feel as if this is the most optimal style when parenting as your child grows older. This instills hard-work and integrity at such a young age, while still allowing them the freedoms of a normal childhood, that it sets your child up for a brighter future. While I say this, I have met many kids that have grown up on permissive or just strictly authoritative styles that have turned out just fine, but the majority of them end up having much different views on life than us. And a little tip I like to use when memorizing this for the upcoming test is thinking about it like a sports team. Personally, I use baseball and if a baseball coach is being permissive, the players on the team will be less inclined to play hard during a game while they much rather just goof off. An authoritative coach will become too obedient ultimately causing his players to not play as well out of pure frustration. Finally, an authoritarian coach will produce the best outcome because the players will be playing hard, while having fun and not being bossed around 24/7. Good luck!
I think I would say that when I was younger and up until high school, my mom was very authoritarian while my dad was more permissive. As high school progressed, my mom became more authoritative but still had authoritarian tendencies with me. I was not necessarily punished for doing wrong things, but my mom would often get mad at me all the time for not doing things the right way. This caused us to fight all the time. Although this caused us to have a bad relationship, I think it made me respectful and cautious when making decisions. Once she became authoritative, I was already used to obeying her that she didn’t need to be as strict. That helped our relationship. My dad has always been more permissive because he would always want to make me happy since my parents were never together and I only saw him every other weekend. Even though this can be considered bad parenting, I think it helped me to become closer to him because I know he will listen to my problems and try as hard as he can to help me fix the problems. Now that I am in college, neither of them give me rules because I don’t live with them and they trust me to make good decisions.