Growing up both of my parents raised my sister and I using the authoritative approach. Authoritative parenting is characterized by reasonable demands and high responsiveness. Authoritative parents might have high expectations for their children, but they also give their kids the resources and support they need to succeed. I think the way my parents raised me has lead me to be the person i am today. I am independent and can take care of myself while knowing what i need to do to be successful and i have my parents to thank for that. I don’t think that i would have responded well to a permissive parenting style because i need structure and the support of my parents. If i mess up they are the first ones to tell me so and help me fix my mistakes. I also don’t think that i would of been responsive to an authoritarian parenting style because i do like to be independent and not have my parents dictate my every life decision.
5 thoughts on “Parenting Style”
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Hi Jamie,
I completely agree! Authoritative parenting seems to be the best style. Growing up, my parents would scold me when I was wrong and also let me know when I was right. Although they did not always let me go out and do everything that I wanted to do, I feel like this would not have formed a great structure for me. Permissive parenting would be too loose. Having authoritative parents has also helped me become the person I am today. My parents are supportive and open to helping me with whatever I need help with.
Hey Jamie, I agree and disagree with you about you’re thoughts and opinions on parenting. I also grew up with an authoritative parenting style just like you and it was great looking back on it because it allowed me to grow and do things on my own but also with structure and rules. When I was a kid though I begged my parents sometimes to switch to a more permissive parent (although I didn’t know that was what it was called back then). And thankfully they wouldn’t budge if they had ended up just saying yes to me all the time and set things up for me I would be less mature, more selfish and spoiled. I have many friends who had parents like this who let them do anything they want and as they go off to college I am worried about some of them. I am very happy my parents made the right decision and not budging.
It is definitely true that the way you are raised by your parents completely affects the person you are and your life. I think that parents should not be permissive and hardly enforce rules because kids need to learn discipline in order to behave like civil and obedient human beings. There needs to be some rules otherwise your kid will act very recklessly. I agree that parents should not be too authoritarian and give their children absolutely no freedom, but there should be a good weight of both styles of parenting like the authoritative approach. I would say my parents use the authoritative approach as well because they discipline me so that I don’t go around doing anything I want, but they still give me a lot of freedom to make a lot of my own decisions and grow on my own. Some of my friends parents, although authoritative, they are slightly permissive in that they allow their children to walk all over them and not listen to them. This is because they didn’t settle the groundwork to let their child know that they cannot speak to their parents like that. I need to step back more often and realize how lucky I am to have as good of parents as I do.
Jamie,
I too grew up with parents who mostly followed the authoritative parenting style. My parents gave us space to fall but were always there when we picked ourselves up again. They weren’t “law-mower” parents, meaning they let us figure things out on our own. That being said, we had rules in the house and expectations upon us. My family enjoys a clean house, so we would all have to pitch in and clean. I can honestly say I don’t miss cleaning now that I’m at the dorms! Overall, my parents gave me the right amount of guidance and structure to help me become who I am today. I know a few people with permissive parents, and they tend to make bad decisions and lack guidance and structure. I have seen some people with authoritarian parents freak out at the first chance of freedom they get. These are the kids who were never allowed to drink and then when they finally turn 21 they take 21 shots and nearly die! Parenting is hard work. There is rarely a clear cut right-or-wrong way to parent. It’s all about trial and error.
Hi Jamie!! My parents took pretty much the same approach when raising me and my 4 siblings. They had high expectations as well as being reasonable and understanding of when something went wrong or we messed up. They sort of raised my oldest sister to be very independent and take care of all of us when we were younger so that we would follow in her footsteps and be mature and independent like she is. When I am older, I will most definitely not take the permissive path in raising my kids because I know people that are raised like that and it never turns out well. You have to have limits and goals for your children and allow them to make mistakes and learn from them while doing it.