“Do as I say, not as I do.” Quite a contradictory statement, isn’t it? In grade school, my best friend’s mother always used to use this phrase. If my friend, Maeve, would say a bad word or do something wrong, she would say, “But mommy, you do it!” and her mother’s response would always be that silly quote. Therefore, Maeve never learned that the behaviors were bad, because although her mom told her not to do or say bad things, watching her mother do it made it seem okay.
A reason that this phrase is not a credible way to teach children between wrong and right is because of Albert Bandura‘s theory of observational learning. Observational learning refers to the process of watching and imitating others. It is a form of learning indirectly, and is especially strong for children, who cannot yet distinguish between wrong and right. It is one of the strongest influencers on children’s behavior, because they like to replicate individuals whom they admire, like their parents and older siblings.
A famous study that illustrates this effect is Bandura’s Bobo Doll Experiment. In this study, children ranging in age from three to six years old were separated into groups. One group watched adults be violent with toys, specifically a Bobo doll. The second group watched adults act non-violently towards the toys. A third group watched nothing. Overall, the children who were exposed to violent adults were also violent towards the toys, especially the Bobo doll, which they hit and kicked almost exactly the same way as the adults they watched did. This study is just one of many proofs of how strong observational learning can be.
Because of researchers like Bandura, people have become more aware of how detrimentally or positively their actions can influence people. Although most research in this field primarily relates to children, observational learning can affect teenagers and even adults. Never underestimate how your actions can affect other people, and never use the excuse to “do as I say, not as I do.”
Sources
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/bandura.html
http://psychology.about.com/od/oindex/fl/What-Is-Observational-Learning.htm
http://www.simplypsychology.org/bobo-doll.html
Haley Hendel
I think this blog post is really interesting because It was caught my attention when I saw the quote “do as I say, not as I do.” after reading your post I start to realized the I was actually related to observational learning because when I was younger after my mother did her laundry and started to folding her clothes for some reason later I started to picks up some clothing and imitates folding the clothes. And of course based on Bandura’s research there are number of factors that increase the likelihood that a behavior will be imitated. So it is really important especially for parents to be careful of what they are doing around the house then there are young kids around because they are the role model to them. Because they believed that whatever you did is the best for them and they would following whenever its good or not.
The quote also caught my eye on this post. Then i saw how you related it to the bandura bobo doll experiment. I remember reading something about a similar experiment, but instead of showing violent and non violent action, and nothing, children were shown violent actions in three separate groups. The the difference in the three groups were the endings being shown. One showed the person getting in trouble, the next was being praised, and the final showed nothing at the end. Then they asked all the kids to play with the doll. As expected, one group acted aggressively, to be rewarded, and one did nothing, to avoid punishment. The third group acted aggressively towards the bobo doll as well. But when the group that saw punishment was told that they would being given candy or treats if they reenacted what they saw, they immediately attacked the bobo doll. Because of the reward they acted that way. So I agree with what you said, even though people try to help distinguish between good and bad, just that small contradiction is enough to change their minds about behaviors.
I really liked this blog post. I have also heard this saying before, however I did not relate it to observational learning until you mentioned it. I think that this saying is kind of an easy way out when someone does something bad. I personally think that I what I say makes a lot more sense than what I personally do. This is because what I say is typically influenced by just my logic where as what I do is influenced by habit and emotion. It is really easy to say you should not do something but really applying what you say can sometimes be very hard. I also agree in that observational learning is significantly more important. It is much easier to apply and understand the consequences of something you do rather than just something you hear. This is why I think it is much easier to learn from viewing someone behave and react then just listen to them explain the theory of what you should do in a certain situation.
This blog post caught my attention since I am familiar with the saying “Do as I say, not as I do”. I have heard a camp counselor using this saying when addressing her fifth grade campers. I agree with Haley, as she advises not to use this quote. Observational learning has a huge impact on how people learn appropriate behaviors from inappropriate behaviors. Observational learning plays a role in not only parent-child relationships, but also in other various settings including day camps. As a camp counselor for a young age group, it is very important to be the role model and demonstrate appropriate behavior. This counselor referred to above, was unfortunately fired for her inappropriate behaviors and for her lack of leadership. She told her campers that they should not follow her behaviors and not do as she does, which infers that she was not properly doing her job. All of the other counselors were made aware of this counselor’s mistake. The camp illustrated the importance of observational learning as counselors lead their campers with appropriate actions.