Rule #4: Compare Yourself to who you Were Yesterday, not to who Someone Else is Today

To start off this chapter, Peterson states the harsh fact of reality which is, no matter how good you are at something, there is someone else out there who will make you look incompetent. You’re a good cook but there are many great chefs or you are a decent guitar player but no Jimmy Page or Jack White. Only a small amount of people produce very much of everything. The winners may not take all, but they take most, and the bottom is certainly not a good place to be. According to Peterson, there is only one mindset that is the best to possibly have in this rigged game we are in within our society.

The first mistake many make is considering the black and white words: success and failure. Many people having the mindset that they are either a success or the complete opposite, a failure. These words imply no alternative or middle ground, simply one or the other. However, in a world as complex as the one we are in, these words simply do not suffice. They are a sign of naive, unsophisticated or even malevolent analysis.

To start off, Peterson states that there is not only one game at which to succeed or fail but many games, or more specifically, many good games. There will be many good games that match your talents, productively involve you with others, and will sustain or improve themselves across time. If you don’t succeed at one game there are so many others that you can try. Not good at being a lawyer? Maybe you should be a police officer instead. Not doing good in med school? Well you’re good at math so maybe try something that focuses more around that. The point is, everyone has a unique mix of strengths, weaknesses and situation, and deciding which game to play is not always going to come easy but it does not mean you are a failure.

According to Peterson, it is also unlikely you are playing only one game. You may have a career, friends, family, personal projects, artistic endeavors, or athletics pursuits. You might try to judge your success across all these games. Maybe you are really good at some, in the middle on others, and terrible at the remainder, but perhaps that is how it should be. You might deny this saying, I should be winning at everything! But if you are winning at everything, that means you are not trying anything new or difficult. Maybe you’re “winning” but you are certainly not growing and trying to improve yourself. The question is, Should victory in the present always take precedence over trajectory across time?

Now finally, comes the realization of looking at these specific games you are currently involved in. In looking at these games you realize how these games are so unique to you, so individual, that comparison to others is simply inappropriate. Maybe you are overvaluing what you don’t have and undervaluing what you do. Maybe your colleague is outperforming you at work, but his wife is having an affair while you are in a happy marriage. Who really has it better? And that celebrity you admire? He is a chronic drunk driver and bigot. Is his life really preferable to yours?

So Peterson’s rule “Compare Yourself to who you Were Yesterday, not to who Someone Else is Today”, is trying to get the point across that everyone’s lives are extremely complex and no where near perfect all across. No one can succeed every single game they play and no one is playing all the same games you are. That is why the only really person you can compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

Peterson, Jordan B., et al. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Vintage Canada, 2020.