The comedy 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) follows Matt Sullivan, a web developer recently dumped by his ex-girlfriend Nicole. He is obsessed with her, and in an attempt to forget her he decides to give up sexual contact for Lent. Upon discovering his abstinence, Matt’s co-workers begin to bet on who can persuade him to have sex. As the movie progresses, Matt meets Erica, the girl of his dreams. She is disappointed by the lack of sexual activity but determined to wait for him. On the fortieth night, recently single Nicole hears of the bet and breaks into Matt’s apartment. While handcuffed to his bed in an attempt to maintain his celibacy, Nicole rapes him while he is asleep. The movie, however, frames Matt’s rape as unfaithfulness. Ashamed, he must win Erica back and prove to her his unfaltering love. 40 Days and 40 Nights is just one of countless examples of the sexual assault of males used for laughs. Now, we must ask ourselves why these jokes continue to pervade pop culture today.
Toxic Masculinity
Deeply embedded in the culture of toxic masculinity is the idea that real men cannot be raped. Real men should be strong enough to fight off rape, and if they don’t, it shouldn’t matter, because they are sex-hungry. While this is (obviously) not true, it makes it even harder for men to share their experiences with rape.
When Terry Crews came forth as a survivor of sexual assault, he was “publicly mocked by peers for not more forcefully fighting off” the perpetrator (Imperato). When Crews addressed one of these peers, he responded with the following tweet:
I don’t know why actor Terry Crews is so mad at me. He sure didn’t have that same energy when he let that white man grab his crotch.
The Joke, Explained
Pop Culture Detective divides media portrayals of male sexual assault into two categories: male and female perpetration.
When the perpetrators are male, the punchlines of these jokes often center around a man being subordinate to another man, thus playing a feminine role. In our patriarchal culture, “[e]masculation jokes are supposed to be funny . . . because we’re meant to think that there is no greater humiliation for a man than to be treated like a woman” (Pop Culture Detective). Furthermore, there’s “an underlying homophobia . . . connected to some extreme levels of anxiety around straight male sexuality” (Pop Culture Detective). And, like being perceived as feminine, being perceived as gay is deeply embarrassing for straight men.
When the perpetrators are female, “the jokes are almost always built around a gender-flipped role-reversal and hinges on the perceived social absurdity they’re in” (Pop Culture Detective)
How Does it Relate to Ethical Living?
Not only do jokes surrounding the sexual assault of men put men in danger, they further the idea of women as inferior and gay men as deranged opportunists. Thus, I ask you to look carefully at the media you consume: if someone is being raped, is it really funny?
I thought that this blog was very interesting and definitely a great discussion of this issue. Personally, I am not quite sure why the portrayal of rape is supposed to be funny and I think that a lot of the stigma around rape is caused by the improper portrayal like in the movie you described.
It’s a very toxic environment when looking at the sexual assault of men. With the wide prevalence of jokes around the issue, it becomes very difficult for the proper ethics to be incorporated. Hopefully, the environment surrounding this issue begins to shift to one that properly assesses the situation.
I concur with your conclusion, rape isn’t particularly funny regardless of context. Anyone can be raped and it is wrong in all cases.
I fully agree that this is a dangerous standard in society that entirely undercuts the reality and severity of male rape. It is influential for male celebrities to share their story to raise awareness about the occurrence of male rape, but society must begin to take things seriously in order to witness a change.
I’m shocked that such a movie was allowed to be produced as it portrayed rape as such a joke, and even victim blames the main character as he is blamed. Rape is never a joke and toxic perceptions of masculinity within our society only add to this. It is horrible to see such displays of ignorance within the media, especially when these ideas are shown to many different audiences.