Revision on Crumlish paper

As appointed in class last thursday, I decided to go over Tommy guns essay he is planning on revising. As I was reading it, I noticed a couple pros and cons to his paper. I liked how he did the essay on a lady by the name of Josephine Bakhita. Majority of people don’t even know who this woman is. I did not even have a clue. Bakhita was a maid or slave that was passed around from owner to owner. She was abused and treated horribly but the only thing that got her through the hard times was God. I loved the story and background about Josephine herself. But there were some cons that I did notice about the paper. Little issues like grammer and format mistakes. The first thing I noticed was that the paper was not in MLA or APA format. Some other basic mistakes I saw were numbers that should have been spelled out. Furthermore, I noticed simple grammer mistakes like not using a comma in certain areas and I believe there was a semicolon that had to be inserted. The last thing I noticed was that the letters were spaced out alittle bit differently but that could have been the computer where the paper was typed up. The set up was different but we got that straightened out. Besides the basic grammer errors, I enjoyed reading and revising Tommy guns paper.

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