While I’m not sure I can offer as deep of an analysis as last week, I will try my best to glean some information hidden between the lines. This rule seems and is one of the most reasonable and understandable of the rules written by Jordan Petterson, but is also one of the hardest to follow.
Many people are sociable and are able to make many friends wherever they go. However, are these friends truly friends, and do they truly want what’s best for you? Well, let’s look at science again…
According to a transcript from the podcast Am I Normal?, the host, Mona Chalabi, mentions the idea of “Dunbar’s number”. This number is the idea of how many relationships your brain can handle and put the number near 100 and 250. While this number seems high, this covers a wide range of relationships, from your brother to the cashier you remember the name of because you’re too socially awkward to go to anyone else.
Back to the main idea, the majority of people are able to make a fair amount of friends (Dunbar puts the number around 50 friends) but when you make friends it’s hard to do a background check and an interview before a relationship forms. This in turn can cause a myriad of problems, ranging from manipulation, to putting you down, to even using you as comedic relief. This is where the hard part comes of the rule comes in.
Friendship breakups are hard. Friends are people who have spent time with and assume you can rely on for emotional support and many other things as reported in an article from Women’s Health.
Due to the inability to check your friends before making them and having your brain form that connection, it is extremely tough to follow this rule.
So what can you do and how do you know what friends do or do not fit into this idea of “wanting the best for you”? Well, there are some simple tests you can run your brain through if you truly want to check.
Test 1: Think back to a time when they told you your idea or plan was, to use extremely harsh words, dumb 🙂 A friend who wants the best for you wouldn’t let you go through with an idea that is obviously stupid and bad for you, or at the very least, would advise against doing that action.
Test 2: Look back to when you were used as the butt of a joke. When you think of one, think of that person and try to count how many times they have made you the butt of their joke. (Also use the context of the situation)
Anyways, after making a mountain out of the molehill of keeping good friends, I hope this provided some help to someone and maybe, just maybe, gives you the strength to leave your bad “friendship”.
I really like your topic and the way you use multiple sources to back it up! This is very well thought out and informational. While it is informational, it is also entertaining to read!
I find this blog very helpful because early in our college career when we are scrambling to find friends, we can use your template as a way to check to see if they are a good friend or not!
I loved this post and thought the visuals added to the content of the writing. I thought it was interesting that humans can only maintain between 100 and 250 relationships. To me, that number is low and helps explain why it can be so hard to immediately take in new friends. I totally understand the stress of making new friends, if you can’t “background check” them first.
I loved this post! This advice is definitely super helpful for freshmen who are eager to make friends and fit in. The stress of making new friends is certainly real in college and having a number for the average number of relationships that most people maintain will help prevent people from overthinking all of their relationships.
Good job at explaining this rule–even if you thought it was difficult, I followed your explanation fairly well. Also, good use of pictures! Next time, while I know you have your sources linked in the article, I would personally do a quick works cited.