At first glance, this may seem obvious. Of course you shouldn’t lie, lying is bad, however with most things, it is much easier said than done.

Now the question is why do you lie? You, yes you, why do you lie? While I’m sure there are many reasons to lie, PhycoloGenie breaks it down nicely saying “Lying can be broadly classified into 25 different types; the common ones being, bluffing, exaggeration, jocose lie, polite lie, perjury, white lie, lying-in-trade, noble lie, etc. Researchers have spent a lot of time trying to solve the mystery and reasons for lying. Lying is morally wrong and is always discouraged. But, unfortunately, it is quite commonplace and comes naturally to human beings”

However, almost all of the examples listed are of lying to others, when a much bigger problem is when you lie to yourself. ShortForm writes

“You may believe that your truth is the only truth and that no amount of new knowledge can change what you believe. That all-important facts have been discovered, and that everything will work out perfectly.

Your lie may begin with protecting yourself from reality. You may believe reality is intolerable and must be distorted. You want to avoid that short-term pain. But after a certain point, the lies take on a life of their own. First, you start with a little lie, then support it with further little lies. Then you distort your thinking to avoid the shame of those lies. Then those lies become necessary and become ritualized into unconscious action. The longer you lie, the more you believe it, and the harder it is to undo”. Lying to yourself seems to have much more severe consequences on not only yourself but on those around you.

Additionally, let’s take a closer look at the title, “Tell the Truth – Or At Least Don’t Lie”. Now, what could this mean, they sound like the same things. However, when taking a closer look, they are anything but.

As shown before, there are many kinds of lying, but one of the most common is the lie of omission. With these types of lies, you may not be trying to actively mislead people, but you achieve the same result as a lie.

To be honest, I use this type more than I would like to admit. It’s easy to use this kind of lie to lie to yourself and play semantic games for example if you stole someone’s pencil and hid it and that person asks “Do you have my pencil?” you would say that you don’t have it because it’s not physically on you, but it is still a lie because you know what was really being asked.

 In another case, if someone does something you don’t like to you, choosing not to confront them about it is still lying – you’re choosing to act inauthentically and not in line with your beliefs. If you consistently avoid these kinds of conflicts, you don’t complain when you are mistreated, and you suppress your own ideas, you are still lying to yourself even if you don’t see it. This in turn makes you feel weak because there is little meaning to your existence. By not speaking up and lying to yourself that it’s all ok, you’ve become a tool for other people and no longer have your independence.

In the end, whether lying to yourself or someone else, lying is bad for you and any relationships you hold with those you lie too. So, tell the truth, or at least don’t lie.