“I Believe in Preserving Culture”
Growing up with the influence of two very different cultures, I found myself subconsciously favoring one over the other, particularly when it came to something as personal as food. Being raised by Mexican parents meant that my culinary experience was immersed in the rich traditions of Mexican cuisine as well as American foods. My vibrant, aromatic kitchen was not just a place for meals but a hub of shared moments – from tackling homework at the dining table to simply observing my mom’s culinary skills. In this flavorful environment, traditional Mexican dishes took center stage. Most of the time I would ask to make spaghetti or to heat the frozen chicken tenders we kept in the fridge. The essence of Mexican cuisine lies in its abundance of spices and diverse flavors, creating a symphony for the senses. Although I might not have savored every dish, I was familiar with the series of flavors that adorned our family table. Surrounded by this culinary tapestry, my initial indifference to learning my mom’s recipes gradually transformed.
I hadn’t actively sought to delve into the workings of these traditional dishes. I never had any interest in learning to make Mexican dishes until I went to Mexico for Thanksgiving last year. Going to the country where my parents grew I had no idea what to expect.
On our way to “Las Grutas” a popular tourist destination, we stopped to eat at this small food stand owned by a humble family. It was just past sunset, and we had been driving all day. We went inside the makeshift tent and came across an empty table and a woman and her parents. Who looked to be in their 60s. They were very patient with us and made the food right in front of us. We had Consomé a soup-like dish that was mostly broth, and a mixture of vegetables as Tacos De Birria. As the only people there we were able to connect with the owners and make small talk. I hadn’t met such amiable people who were proud of who they were. While being there I was able to take it all in. Learning about their way of living and their traditions I was really surprised. I realized that we had a shared culture although we may not be living the same lives we were connected by the food we eat. Of all the restaurants we went to during our visit that was the one that held the most meaning and significance to me. Tasting the rich flavors that my mom has made before and coming to a point of realization. Now anytime my parents make any Mexican dish I always help them in the kitchen.
We may all have the same ingredients, yet we have different ways of creating dishes that have significance and history. I believe that preserving culture no matter how big or small is essential to one’s growth. Our culture represents who we are and what we stand for. If we were to lose that then we lose a sense of self and therefore our history. If I hadn’t stumbled across the food stand then I wouldn’t have cared about learning more about my own culture and how important and meaningful it is to me. Without the kind strangers I met there I wouldn’t have realized the rich history and culture that Mexico holds.
1. I think the central conflict is centered around your initial indifference to the Mexican culinary culture you were a part of and the moment in the restaurant when it changed. I think to enhance the arrangement you could kind of leave more hints in the beginning about how it took more than your mother who you see everyday to sort of change your mind? Overall though I found the transformation portion super fascinating and really well chosen structure.
2. I think you use a lot of good sensory details. I can sort of feel the restaurant and the vibe of your kitchen as a kid, so great job there! I think you could be a bit more engaging if you show the real change now with you helping out in the kitchen, and the difference that has made because it is an interesting part of your story! Or how this has changed your relationship with your mom!
3. I think you could be a little more audience oriented in the description of yourself. You describe the restaurant owners really well and your mom, but I think you could describe yourself in a way that makes us understand how you maybe initially found yourself sort of just lingering between the two cultural cuisines.
4. I think the story sort of matched up with the conclusion. I think the “This I believe statement” could be more centered around taking an active role in culture exposed to us. I think the comment about preserving culture did not really have meaning in the story since it felt like the story was more centered around finding connections to culture and believing in its value. However, I think there are ways to keep both the story and the statement for it to work!
5. Maybe a mention or two of favorite dishes for you to help out with now could be a cool inclusion!
1.Identify the central conflict and structure (cause and effect, transformation, categorical) of this piece. Provide ideas for enhancing the central conflict structure/arrangement.
The central conflict of this piece is not fully understanding the importance of practicing and sharing culture even though you may not live in your culture’s place of origin. This seems to have the cause and effect structure as you point to the experience that shaped your belief and briefly discuss how you have started to draw on this experience to alter how you feel about your culture in everyday life. I think your structure for this works pretty well, if you had a specific belief that you felt about before you realized this one then I would suggest switching to the conversion structure (if not this one will work well).
2. Could the piece be more sensory or engaging if told another way? Comment on how the style could be strengthened. Provide an example from the draft.
I think the cause-and-effect structure for this piece will work best with the information you have already provided. The only thing I would suggest to strengthen it then would be to maybe specify a more direct time after realizing where you were able to draw something from that experience. I know you talk about how you started to appreciate your culture more, but I would suggest getting more specific with a more detailed, one-time description.
3. Name some possibilities for deeper characterization. How could the “I” be developed further? Is there more you would like to know about the relationships between “characters”? Were some details “author oriented” instead of “audience-oriented”?
I feel as though your characterization could be built up a bit more, especially in the beginning when you are explaining how you choose more plain, American options for food over your cultural food. I suggest being a bit more descriptive about your personality and how you would willingly choose to not eat cultural foods and maybe even express how it made your parents feel. Also, I would play around with building your character more after establishing the realization to make sure your readers fully understand the extent to which you feel preserving the culture is important.
4. Did the belief match up with the story? Offer some advice if you felt the piece moved toward a different conclusion. Comment on places to strengthen narrative coherence and narrative fidelity.
I believe your belief did match very well with your story. However, I would like to say it gets a bit confusing throughout your story as to which direction you are taking it, especially since you specify how you were connected by food. Although I understand that is culture, I felt as though your story focused more on how people connect through food rather than preserving your culture. I do see where you were going, so a few changes throughout will help line your story up better with the final belief. Again, the only advice I would suggest would be to be a bit more detailed about the thoughts and feelings you felt after deciding to preserve and learn more about your culture. Your experience is unique so build on that unique experience to truly take the reader through your story.
5. Make a suggestion or two for something the author could move, change, add, or delete.
Again, I would just suggest digging even deeper into how preserving your culture was essential to who you are now and how you grew over time. I would suggest adding more description to your reflection of your belief, but overall I would just change a few things to ensure your story fully leads the reader to your final belief.