It sounds counterintuitive.  Why would we break something if we’re trying to heal it?  In real life, it’s actually fairly common.  Doctors will completely break a bone because it heals better than a partial fracture.  But what about something more figurative?  What about breaking your heart?

After you end a relationship, a common practice is making a “clean break,” similar to the breaking of the bone.  This complete separation from your previous friend or partner is intended so that your heart may heal faster rather than clinging to fragments.  It’s definitely a lot more difficult and hurts so much more if the person is someone you truly cared about but simply could not make the relationship work.

Humans are social beings.  We do not like being lonely, and we especially do not like losing people.  It really hurts to lose someone that made us feel cared about.  But what if, in the case of a romantic relationship, it’s just not right?  They aren’t “the one.”  Our instinct is to hold on.  We have this special, beautiful thing and do not want to lose it.  What if we let go and cannot find something like it ever again, or something better for us?  This is where bravery comes in.  We have to be strong enough to recognize that holding on will only hurt us in the end.  This future hurt is far worse than the temporary fear of being alone.  At least that is what we must tell ourselves to truly let go.

There are many people that have come and gone in my life.  Some I’ll admit that I did not miss when they left.  It might have sucked to lose a friend, but I recognized that I was better off.  There have been a few that hurt.  Truly, lonely, cry late at night hurt.  Some of these people are still in my life in some way, but what I lost was the type of relationship I once had with them.  It isn’t always a clean break from the person.  Sometimes it’s a break from the intimacy you once shared with them.  It still really hurts.

The truth is that it will very likely break our hearts to let someone go or to lose a certain level of intimacy.  We are removing a part of ourselves that we care about.  But we have to care about ourselves more.  We have to be brave enough to break so that we can heal.