Welcome back! Hard to believe that we are almost at the end of the semester – I think it is safe to say that Spring has finally sprung! As we wrap up the semester, I wanted to take this final post to discuss how asking others for help is one of the most important forms of self-care. Over the last 14 posts, we have examined everything from mindfulness, to exercise, to good diet and hydration habits, and even some self-care activities. The term “self-care” doesn’t just involve you, however. Part of taking care of yourself is recognizing when you need help and can’t accomplish something on your own.
Asking others for help is not a sign of weakness, if anything, it’s one of strength. It’s quite common that you’ll run into a situation where you are overwhelmed – it may be by stress from workload, a personal/family issue, or something else entirely. And many people will try to take it on themselves to do it all, thinking they’ll seem weak if they have to ask someone else for assistance or advice. However, such a mindset works against productivity, and quite often the best answer is to ask someone for help. Speak to someone – maybe it’s a parent, friend, or your academic advisor. Whether you are a college student or even working professionally, sometimes there are just some issues that you cannot solve on your own. Not only will you gain valuable and fresh insight into a problem, but you’ll build relationships with others, and you will be taking care of yourself by keeping away from a point of burnout/breakdown.
Figure 1-1. Asking for Help is Okay. Andy Hosgood
There are also good practices when asking for help. When you do ask for help, be direct and clear – unless the situation calls for it, it’s best just to ask one person for help rather than a bunch at once. Almost all of the time, someone will be more than willing to help you – it’s human nature. Interestingly enough as well, part of what makes asking for help so difficult is the fear of rejection – but those who rejected helping you once have been shown to actually be more inclined to help if you ask them again at a later time! So don’t be afraid to approach someone more than once – they may have just been under a particularly high amount of pressure at the time as well, and may have had to ask for help of their own. And even if you don’t exactly follow these practices, people are still almost always understanding and will do their best to assist you.
Another way of asking for help is to say to others (or even to yourself if you are alone) that you need a break and need to just take it easy for a few minutes. Again, this can be challenging since you may believe it makes you look weak, but even if others perceive it that way, that view is incorrect. You are strong for recognizing that you need to ask others (or yourself) for a few minutes to do nothing and to recalibrate. Plus, most of the time, people are understanding of this too. It’s worth noting as well that even pre-emptively asking for a break or some help can be good practice too – it gives others advance notice and you are scheduling time you can look forward to, to relax and recharge for a bit.
Figure 1-2. Asking for Breaks is Okay. Greg Knieriemen
Overall, by recognizing that you need help, you are being mindful of your body and mind – you are aware of what you can and cannot handle. We must remember that humans are not robots; we can do a lot, but no one is ever built to do everything. And sometimes, all it takes is one phone call or text to alleviate a lot of stress.
To wrap up, while self-care consists of a lot of techniques you employ for yourself, it involves others, too – and they can have just as much an impact on your life as you can have on your own. Ultimately, however it starts with you – so I really hope that with these techniques and the fact that others are here to assist you, that you will find the key to a more successful and healthy life and career!
This is something that I should keep in mind going into the future. I think it is important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but in fact a sign of strength that shows a strong understanding of oneself. The fact that people are often willing to help was a good point. I definitely tend to focus more on the potential for things to go poorly than go right, which tends to stop me from asking others for help in the first place. I really enjoyed your self-care blog! I have been trying to spend much more time outside, especially since it is getting warmer and greener. This blog would be a great resource for any future students in need of techniques to boost their mood and happiness!
This definitely coincides partly with the idea of it takes a village to raise a kid, in that a child needs people around them to grow up relatively well. Humanity is a species devoted to human interaction; it is part of staying healthy. Without human interaction, the stressors of life begin to feel a lot more intense. It should be way more normalized to ask for help, especially as I know first hand what happens when people do not ask for help. Throughout high school, I stretched myself way too thin, putting in my best efforts in being involved in many of the clubs at school, on top of taking multiple APs. A teacher, who at this point I consider a surrogate father, had to make me see that I should not go at life alone, as the stress appeared outwardly overbearing. Asking for help is essential in relieving stress and building stronger bonds with people; this should not be consider weak, but finding a way to be stronger once more. Great post Max, like always! I always look forward to reading your passion blog about self-care, because it has helped me a lot during a stressful schedule of classes along with a global pandemic! Phenomenal work!
I think the hardest thing when you are feeling upset or stressed is to ask for help. We have grown up in a society where you are simply supposed to be strong and figure it out. You have to get the A’s, all the extracurriculars, and fill your time to the brim without even a breath of exhaustion. To admit that you need help has always seemed like an admittance of weakness. It has taken awhile for me to realize that asking for help is actually strong. It shows that you can trust and that you can love.
I agree that asking for help when you are struggling is one of the hardest steps to take. This post offers a lot of great information, and I learned a lot. I believe we need to provide these resources to everyone, and it is so great that this topic is being discussed more openly throughout our generation. Mental health is so important and if someone is in need of help, we need to provide them with the proper resources and make them feel comfortable in being vulnerable and asking for help.
I am really glad that you dedicated this post to explaining why asking for help is perfectly normal; and even healthy! I am an individual who hates asking for help as I feel embarrassment, shame, insecure, and weak. This post reminded me of what I said I would work on a long time ago and I am grateful that you decided to focus on such a subtly prevalent subject!
Since I was a kid, I’ve often had trouble asking people for help when I need it because it can feel embarrassing to be vulnerable. But I’ve come to learn that it’s not a weakness to admit your own shortcomings–rather, it’s a strength that most people struggle with. Thanks for bringing attention to this! I really enjoyed reading your blogs this semester and I hope you have a great summer!