For my last passion blog, I wanted to do a reflection. If you were in my section first semester and somehow read my passion blog you would know I decided to write my passion blog about finding a passion, and each week writing about one thing I was passionate to help bring me to a realization of something I was passionate about.

Looking back I am SO glad I chose to not write about one topic every week because being the type of person I am I would not have been able to keep up with that. My brain is chaotic and it is excruciatingly painful for me to write, let alone write about topics I was not interested in.

I initially chose to make this blog about finding my passion because I did not have one specific passion, and I still don’t. Which is okay, I wasn’t banking on this blog to help me steer the rest of my life, but it did what I intended and that is to reflect on how much I have changed over my freshman year.

I still don’t have a singular passion, I am not an expert in any field. I don’t cook, I don’t play sports, I can’t even follow a diet for 7 days straight. I am a mess. But what I do know is that when I find a topic I am passionate about I give it my all. I seem to find that what I am interested in doing is rather unconventional in regards to what most people do my age, for example cooking, no shade Tatianna and Caitlyn I just can’t cook LOL.

I simply take my days as they come. I have no idea what I am doing after college. I have a plan, law school, but I could literally change my mind in 5 minutes.

This blog made me realize I am a completely different person than I was in September. I always said I wasn’t some sorority girl…and I am. I am friends with only ONE person I was first semester, I moved out of my dorm, I tried a panini for the first time in south and loved it. Random but I am a picky eater so that was a big step for me.

Thank you all for following along with my roller coaster of a blog and never questioning why I am passionate about something new every week…that’s just how my gears turn.

Best of luck in the rest of the semester! Stay safe and healthy and HOME. PS If anyone knows how to do STAT hmu because I got a 40% on my last exam…

Sitting at home, following social distancing guidelines, has me bored and wishing this was all over…ESPECIALLY before summer. I was born in July so I was destined to be a beach bum. Summer has always been my favorite season, I would much rather be hot than cold, which makes me often times question my choice of going to Penn State. However we did not even have a bad winter which I am so grateful for because that would have pushed me over the edge this year.

Anyway, summer is like my saving grace. All the months of school, exams, homework, and cold weather are worth it for me. I have a pool at my house so how many of my days go is I wake up exercise, tan by the pool, then I work 2 pm – 10 pm and then hangout with my friends. Those are literally the best days for me, I love my job and everyone I work with and being home with all my friends tops it off. On top of that summer is when my family and I go on vacation. Every year we go somewhere different. Like I mentioned last blog, I went to Italy last summer and this summer I was supposed to go to Spain…

But back to the main point of this blog. My summers would not be complete without being in LBI (Long Beach Island).

If you are from NJ, you most likely know what LBI is, but if you are not from NJ you may have also heard of it.

Also I want to mention the AWFUL reputation New Jersey, specifically the Jersey shore gets, all thanks to the show Jersey Shore. I have honestly never seen the show before so all the Snooki jokes never made sense to me, until I decided to watch the show while stuck in quarantine. No comment.

Anyway, LBI is somewhere I am happiest. I personally do not own a house there but my friends do, and I am renting one this summer. LBI is just a long island with different towns and each town has something unique to offer. In my opinion the best town is Beach Haven because they have a center called Bay Village where there is endless shopping, places to eat, docks to watch the sunset, Fantasy Island, water parks, and under 18 night clubs…the Ketch. If you know the Ketch then I am sorry.

LBI is somewhere I have grown up. My mom spent her summers in LBI and worked at Fantasy Island. I frequent all the places she did at my age so it’s a family affair honestly. I could go on and on about LBI but I seriously cannot put into words how perfect it is so here are some pictures:

(Map of LBI)

With everything that is going on in the world, my heart goes out to everyone who has been affected and are experiencing tough times right now. My heart especially goes out to Italy because they are experiencing the peak of the virus and a complete change of lifestyle that I know is extremely hard to adjust to.

I know I don’t look it considering I am pale and blonde,  but I actually am Italian, I grew up with Italian grandparents which meant Sunday dinners, no bread on butter or pasta, and spankings with the wooden spoon. If you don’t know what the wooden spoon is you are lucky.

My relatives are from Naples and I know my Nonna has always wanted to visit because that is where her parents are from, so we booked a two week excursion through Italy starting at the top and traveling down and we were all ecstatic to go. Unfortunately my Nonna can’t walk too well anymore and she was not able to join us which was really upsetting.

However, I truly had the time of my life in Italy, I had never been anywhere like it. I went with my parents and my sister, and I even saw two of my friends from home in Italy, which was a once in a lifetime chance that we were both there at the same time. The drinking age was 16 so I enjoyed lots of wine and wine tasting and some of the best food I have ever had. Venice was by far my favorite spot, I love water and being around water, so Venice was like my ideal city and I did not ever want to leave. Side note, that is part of the reason I hate State College because there is no coast and I feel trapped. Which is also why I spend my summers at the beach in LBI.

Anyway, Italy gave me the travel bug. It opened my eyes to so much and I was absolutely obsessed with everything I had seen. I am a spanish minor so I also want to travel to Spain at some point, and I had a trip planned with me, my mom, her childhood best friend and her daughter, who became my childhood best friend, in May. And now of course.. we cannot go and I am beyond upset about this but I know it is for our safety.

I honestly never saw this one coming, not even making a joke out of it, but I never thought I would be sent home from school in my second semester of freshman year, of course just when things were getting good.

I am going to put my anger about this awful situation behind me because I am well aware there are greater issues than my freshman year.

But I have taken this Coronacation and decided to use it to my advantage. During this three week break I will be fixing my eating, getting enough sleep, catching up on school, and exercising. I literally have nothing better to do. All of my friends and I are ~social distancing~, my work is shut down, and I am stuck in New Jersey. Which actually contradicts my usual opinion of New Jersey, but the Governor has shut everything down, which again I understand.

So with next to nothing to do I thought why not get my life together. I practice mindfulness a lot, which I wrote about in another blog I think. But if you have never tried it now would be a great time to start. Mindfulness is not meditation or breathing exercises, it can be but that stuff is not for me. The way I practice mindfulness is at the end of each day I reflect on the day. How I felt, how certain people made me feel, what I am grateful and thankful for, no matter whether or not it was a bad day.

I think especially in a crisis struck world mindfulness is so important to use because it is so easy to be pulled into the media and the mass hysteria and drive your anxiety and fears through the roof.

I encourage you to just practice reflecting on the day, not just because the world is ending, but I personally believe it brings a lot of benefits. But I also would not trust me, so here are some benefits according to ~google~

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner

I don’t know if it’s just me, but friends from home just hit different. Don’t get me wrong, I have made great friends here and I love them, but there is something about hanging out with friends from home that rejuvenates your energy.

This past weekend I had my best friend from high school come and visit me, arguably for State Patty’s day but as I learned, that is a very overrated, made up holiday. Of course we had fun but still, so overrated. The reason she came is because obviously we go to different colleges, so we have different spring breaks so I won’t get to see her over my spring break. And I would not even see her until June because I am going to Spain in May….that is if I make it there.

I got a very disappointing phone call from my dad today, telling me not to get my hopes up about Spain and that I probably won’t be able to go. That honestly really upset me because I was so looking forward to going with my mom, her best friend and her best friends daughter who is also my best friend. If that makes sense..?

Anyway, now I will probably get to see Rachel, my friend from high school sooner than I thought. The point I was trying to make is that friends from home carry such a sense of comfort that you grow to be so accustomed with before being away from school. Then when you get to school and your meeting your new friends, you sort of lose touch of the way things used to be. You miss all the inside jokes and the unconditional understanding of your sense of humor and just everything that comes along with having lifelong best friends up until that point.

I’m not saying your friends in college are bad I’m just saying that being home and being around people that you grew up with brings such a sense of relief and makes you forget you need to conform to those around you. I would consider myself as someone that has an interesting sense of humor and I have only found a few people here that understand it.

I don’t know if any of that made sense, but have a great break!! Regroup and recharge because after this we are 75% done with freshman year…

I don’t know if it’s the weather, or the fact I left my heated blanket at home, but I have never been so homesick in my entire life. I honestly think a lot of it comes from the stress of school right now and how I wish I was just back in highschool kind of. When life was easier, where one homework assignment would not take hours and I could nap every single day and my mom would make me dinner instead of crusty dining hall food. I miss my cats, I will insert a picture of them. (Even though this blog is a few hours late I’m not sure who is reading this but I will anyway because they are so cute).

I miss my queen sized bed with my heated and weighted blanket. I miss my sister, she is my best friend. She is still in high school, and has the audacity to complain about that. I miss my mom because we are literally the same person, and I miss my dad because I love beating him in Mario Kart. I sound like an actual toddler right now but I don’t care.

Also sorry that all my blogs are just complaints now…it’s just that type of semester.

I especially miss my friends. Oh my god I miss my friends so much. Of course I have friends here but there is something about my home friends that makes me wish summer was here right now so I can go back to daily coffee dates and beach trips.

I feel like most people are homesick, and we do have spring break next week, but I have been having an awful semester, and I need to be home. I need to leave school here for a while and the social pressure of going out every weekend needs to chill. I am 50 year old woman stuck in a teenagers body I cannot take more than one night out a week. And that’s a stretch.

ANYWAY, I hope you are all having a better semester than me and if you are in the same boat as me, we are so close to spring break don’t lose hope, (even though I already have).

These past few weeks of school have been the most stressful weeks of my entire existence thus far. This is because I have never had this much on my plate ever. I had three exams last week…don’t ask me how they went. On top of studying for three exams which were all in a row, I had homework for all my classes to add to my academic stress. I think the worst part of it all was that I did not understand a single thing I was learning in my Stat class. If you are in Stat 200 with Buchanon you know my pain.

On top of all that I am in 3 different clubs so I am missing meetings left and right to stay on top of school work. I am also on a THON committee which I mentioned last week. This is a large time commitment for me because there is a bunch of work that I do outside of our weekly meetings. Especially with THON approaching so soon, there have been longer meetings, sending me to bed by earliest 1 am.

I also mentioned that I joined a sorority recently. From bid day, to spring break is when we are considered “new members”, so during this period we have activities to do every single day. These are bonding activities which are essential to making friends and becoming closer with your pledge class, which is just all the other girls who received a bid. These are awesome opportunities but they take up almost every single day of the week. In addition to that, I am on the hunt for a Big. If you don’t know what a Big is, I honestly don’t know how to explain it but the point is that takes time from my schedule as well.

Now thanks for letting me complain I am aware none of you need to hear my complaints because every single one of us is busy and stressed but sometimes you just have to let it out.

So here is how I manage my stress. Every night before I go to bed I write in a gratitude journal which is just a tool for reflection where I write about good things that happened in the day and what I am thankful for. This is extremely important to keep a positive attitude because it is so easy to get overwhelmed and explode, so it is essential that after a long day you still take the time to look back on the good parts.

I also am a believer in essential oils, not that they can cure illness or anything like that but they are relaxing in nature and I diffuse them everyday. And finally the most important thing is sleep. Although I don’t get much of it, sleep is so important especially to avoid getting sick.

Thanks for letting me rant guys!

I’m from New Jersey, no I don’t know Snooki and yes Wawa is better than Sheetz. But since I am from New Jersey I never had min Thon, like most of the Pennsylvania High Schools had. So prior to applying to Penn State I honestly never knew what THON was. Quickly after applying and being accepted I read into Thon and what it was all about.

Unfortunately cancer is something I have been familiar with since a young age. I have had family members die from cancer and I have known countless people that have battled cancer and won. One thing I never even thought about growing up though, was that kids could get cancer. This wasn’t me being dumb, this was me being young and oblivious. I thought how could kids be struck with such an evil disease? Until my mom told me that our family friend, Julianna, who was just 7 had cancer. I remember crying in my room all alone because I did not understand how someone the same age as my younger sister could have cancer. Granted I was very young as well so this was all new to me hearing that someone I had grown up with and played with had cancer.

(I am happy to say Julianna kicked cancer’s butt and she has been in remission for a really long time and she is doing amazing!)

Coming to Penn State I knew I wanted to be involved in Thon but I honestly thought Thon was a club you had to join. I did not know that all the greek orgs were involved in Thon, that there were orgs and committees and countless ways to contribute to Thon. I decided I would sign up for a committee even though I had no idea what that entailed in the slightest. I submitted my application and a few days later I got an email to sign up for an interview. I was freaking out because I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I went to the interview and I was extremely nervous but I guess I hid that pretty well because I got the position on a hospitality committee.

That day feels like it was just last week and I cann0t believe Thon is in 8 days. It blows my mind that what I have been waiting for the entire year is almost here. I feel like I have not quite grasped how amazing Thon is because I feel like you need to experience it to truly understand the magnitude. But week by week at our meetings, I learn about how I am actually making a difference and that makes me feel like I am creating a full circle.

From the little girl that sat and cried in her room feeling helpless, watching the people she loved be diagnosed with cancer, to having the opportunity to fundraise for Thon through my sorority, and of course all the work I have done on my committee. I will get to serve the dancers and the families food during Thon weekend which is  an amazing experience to be on the floor and working one on one with the most integral parts of Thon (dancers and families).  I could not have asked for a better experience this year leading up to Thon and I am ecstatic for Thon weekend 2020!!!

At this point I’m not sure who is reading whos blog, and who read my blog from last semester, so I will give a quick recap of an important part of my blog last semester.

Last semester I really tried to eat clean (no processed foods) and exercise daily. For a while I was doing really well with this, I was eating very healthy, exercising and losing weight which was my goal. However, winter break hit me like a 16 wheeler, and I ate like an absolute animal.  I was eating cookies for breakfast, Mozzarella sticks for dinner, and basically just caving at every single craving I had. I gained back every single pound I lost. And not to mention, I was barely going to the gym.

Coming back to school I knew I had to get back on track. The first few weeks of the semester were rough, mostly due to rush. During rush I was all over the place every single day and I never had time to sit down and have a proper meal. And forget about the gym. I did not even touch my sneakers. However…starting this week I am, hopefully, back on track! For now…

It is honestly just such a struggle for me to put all my eff0rt into eating because I truly love food and love eating everything that is not good for you. It is easy for me to go the gym, especially when I have a workout plan to follow, but I know I won’t see results if my eating is atrocious.

So I came back with a better plan. I made a well thought out workout routine, giving myself breaks when I need them. And I have been practicing eating what I enjoy in moderation. First semester I would force myself to cut out all the foods I loved and honestly I was sad…my friends even told me during dinner I looked sad while I ate. I let myself give in once or twice a week. Which is natural considering it is a change that needs time to adjust to.

I am not doing this for any other reason but to be confident in myself. I have gone too many summers unhappy with myself. In all honestly I have no reason to be unhappy. I am very healthy, I just want to tone and be confident.

If I fall off the wagon again, it will be a rough summer….

There is so much stigma around greek life, whether it be the danger associated with joining a fraternity or being labeled a “sorority girl”.

My mom was in a sorority so I grew up knowing what greek life was and how it positively impacted my moms college experience. I never felt pressure to join greek life, and my mom never insinuated that I needed to, it was a choice I made on my own. Mainly because my mom is still best friends with her sisters to this day and that is something I want in the future.

I pretty much waited until right before the deadline to sign up for formal recruitment, but I did sign up in time and was registered to begin rush a few days after returning from winter break. I did not know what to expect in the slightest but I went in with an open mind.

In today’s day and age there is so much pressure to look and act a certain way and when it comes to greek life there is a ranking system called tiers. A lot of girls worry about which tier they will end up in and they strive to be in a top tier sorority. Nothing wrong with wanting to achieve that goal, but for me I did not know which sororities were top tier when I started rush so I went into it with a completely open mind.

Through rush I met so many people who I obviously would never have met without rush so that makes me thankful for the opportunity of rushing in itself.

The process was tiring, stressful and completely draining, yet somehow I made it through.

I ended up getting and accepting a bid from Delta Gamma. I know I sound like every other “sorority girl” but the girls I have met in DG so far have showed me that they genuinely care about me and want me to be there.

I am not an outwardly excited person about many things, so when I opened my bid I was not jumping up and down and screaming, but I was happy, and hopeful.

What I am hopeful for through joining Delta Gamma is to form genuine friendships. Not friendships that look good on instagram and snapchat, because that is not who I am. I want to be immersed in a sisterhood of girls who share the same values as me and make me feel accepted. I did not rush for clout or for tiers, I rushed for myself. Safe to say I am obsessed with DG already!