This week Kate didn’t pick the movie, I did. Because you’re your own best friend, right? However, I made Kate watch it with me, way past her bedtime. With all the exams, I needed a pick me up. Does this movie have a plot? Yes but no. Is it good? That’s up to you, but to me, it’s one of my favorite movies. The colorful explosions, great music, giant robots, and subtle homoeroticism between the two main characters, that is the recipe for a good movie in my book. The fact that this movie is a satire is the ribbon on top.

 

Promare is a movie set in a dystopian future where there is a group of people that can control fire. It follows the “normal” narrative of ostracizing this new group of people and the repercussions it has on society. The city the movie is set in has created this intricate system of firefighting to account for so much of the population being able to set fires. Galo the main good guy and resident himbo (please I don’t want to have to explain this lingo, if you don’t know what it means that’s okay, if you do. Please don’t destroy me.), works at one of these fire departments. What I am going to explain is what is in the trailer so I deem it fair game to talk about in this review without a spoiler warning. But that whole last sentence was a spoiler warning, sorry. Well, the first act of the movie is Galo’s dept. fighting a fire, surprise. But the fire was started by the “terrorist” group Mad Burnish. This all sounds super lame but bear with me. So, with a cool mech Galo defeats the two underlings and is ready to fight the big bad boss. He turns out to be a 5 foot something blonde man in a full leather suit and a cravat. Yeah, that’s in your brain now. They jab at each other in ways that seem way too much for just meeting. They are just way too much and just enough at the same time.

 

That being said this movie has an effect on people. After you watch it once, you have the need to watch it again immediately after. Two different people I have watched this movie with have had this happen to them, including Kate. She said that she would watch it again multiple times today, and she slept through half of it(Kate says it was 20 minutes, but it wasn’t). I love rewatching this movie and would watch it with anyone that asks.

 

To summarize Kate’s thoughts on the movie: “That shit was gayer than a freaking lesbian period drama.” For reference, Kate is a lesbian that has seen every lesbian period drama. Her words, not mine.

 

10/10 will watch with you. I’m 100% serious.

Link to photo above.

Guys (gender-neutral term) Kate recommended me another gay movie. This time around it is the French masterpiece, Portrait of a Lady on Fire. I would like everyone to know, foreign movies are simply better, sorry not sorry. As someone who is not versed in the French language, I did have to use subtitles. But I watch everything with subtitles, I recommend you also try it.  

Back to the movie, it was so good. I will be saying a lot of movies are good, but this one is one of the best for you film nerds out there. The use of color, staging, acting, all top tier. The tone of the movie changes throughout, however the overarching melancholy that this movie conveys is strong. You feel the bond created and broken between the two main characters, Marianne and Héloïse. The more familial relationship that is made between the three women is one for the ages and made me personally quite emotional.  

The movie overall is so beautiful and aesthetically pleasing that every scene is like a painting. Which is what most of the plot hinges on. The Portrait. The evolution of the three different pieces and how this painting works into the major turning points of the film reminded me of Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray.   

If you haven’t read this book, please, it’s a very influential work. But be wary it is dated. If you don’t want the hassle or need a refresher, the main character Dorian Gray has a portrait painted of him by one of his friends. However, there is a “spell” put on the painting, any signs of aging or heinous acts are reflected on the painting so Gray my stay looking innocent and beautiful. I won’t spoil the whole thing, but with that prior knowledge, this movie seems all the more charming.  

The painting transforming throughout the movie as the two women learn more and trust, each other. It is one of my favorite plot points if you can’t tell.  

The other piece of media that is connected to parts of the movie is the ancient story of Orpheus and Eurydice. The three women read the story and debate the outcome together and it fleshes out their personalities. This story also ties into the ending of this movie. 

Major plot points, and the ending, will be discussed from this point until “After that whole” in the next paragraph. You have been warned…So I cried a lot at the end. I’m pretty sure I can’t listen to Vivaldi’s Summer without crying anymore.  The scene itself is so powerful. The music in this movie is so important and the fact that this is the last time Marianne sees Héloïse hurts my little heart. 

After that whole experience, my roommate and Kate got into a huge argument about the MET Gala. It has been a hot topic in 202.  We keep getting on the subject of Elliot Paige’s suit with the green carnation, Amber (roommate) hates that he went in just a black suit, and Kate just thinks he looked cute. Please leave your thoughts in the comments. 

10/10

Link for the picture above.

Imagine this, you just walked around every floor of your dorm hall.  Searching for a place to watch a movie because you were too broke to bring a flat-screen to college.  And just when you find the perfect set of couches in front of a black awaiting led screen, one of the members of your party refuse to set up shop in the rec room because two people used the communal kitchen to make broccoli cheddar soup at 9:30 pm, on a Wednesday. 

So, you take the rickety old elevator back up to your floor to watch a dated 1990s movie on the floor with all the extra pillows your mom insisted you bring when friends come over. 

This was my night leading up to watching the satire But I’m A Cheerleader.  This movie was recommended to me, by said member of the party, every day I’ve known her.  I was going in blind, only learning it was made in 1999 and had an R rating seconds before hitting play.  Fair warning, I might be talking about major plot points so if you haven’t seen it… Go watch it, the hour and twenty-five minutes is a great break between your math homework and chemistry.  

With the context that this was made at the turn of the century and used Conversion Camps as a way to make both the worst, and best movie that has lesbians since Kristen Stewart stopped playing a straight woman, I’m baffled at how much I enjoyed it.  And can we talk about how Natasha Lyonne has played a gay woman, not once but twice?  Back to the main point, Lyonne’s character is Megan, a goodie two shoes, Christian cheerleader dating a football player. However, she has some “strange” quirks. After staging a huge intervention her parents and friends send her to True Directions, the setting for most of the movie.  Here is where the colorful cast of soon-to-be A-to-B-list celebrities resides. Every. Single. One. Of these characters are gay stereotypes, but I’m here for it.  But that might also be because Gram is one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen.  

This movie gave me the feeling that old, Disney straight to TV, movies would give little eight-year-old me.  I knew the budget wasn’t that big, but they used it well. The house that holds True Directions is super cute and unsettling at the same time.  Most of the decorations are shiny, plastic, and childish. And it is a theme throughout the movie, Megan is dressed in childish clothing in the first half of the movie. This also translates to the decorations and bedding in the girls’ room of True Directions. This changed later as Megan learns to accept herself and wears more “adult” clothing, if that’s even a thing. Just something funny I noticed.  

Honestly, I don’t think this movie could have been made any better, and I don’t think it will.  The copious use of gays slurs definitely dates this movie and puts it in a category where many feel uncomfortable talking about its themes.  Looking past the change in culture since the movie’s release, it was a great use of satire and romance.  I could feel the pain Graham felt when she had to turn her back on Megan. 

Would watch again, 8/10!