Author: lzg5385

Sexual Liberation

by lzg5385

Sexual liberation was a movement primarily from the 1960s to the 1980s that challenged the norms of behaviors to sexuality and sexual relationships throughout the United States. The point of the movement was to remove the guilt and judgment that was attached with freely expressing sexual needs. This was the time where sexual minorities were more expressive, especially in the summer of 1969 when the Stonewall Riots occurred. This movement was focused on more permissive rather than punitive attitudes towards sex, they wanted to make nonmarital sex and sex between teenagers to be more acceptable and not as taboo.

 

This movement was essential for the way that our current society views sex. There is still a mix of attitudes amongst teenagers and adults. Some are more conservative and wait until marriage, some are conservative but engage in nonmarital sex withs serious partners, some are more liberated and engage in nonmarital sex with people they trust and others are more liberated that they engage in “sex for fun”. The most important thing to take from this is that people have different views towards sex, which is perfectly fine.

 

Nonetheless, this sexual liberation that has been occurring for the last few decades has replaced the longstanding pressure to say no with the pressure to say yes. By that, I mean that this view of sexual freedom has been associated with sexual liberation and empowerment that in a way requires them to say yes. It has come to be that the older you get, the more shameful it is to be a virgin. From my own observation, people start caring about virginity from age 13, if you get to 18 and you’re still a virgin, you’re kind of looked at strangely. This is even worse for men that are viewed as having more sexual needs than women, and they are given more liberty to explore those sexual needs.

 

A perfect example of this is sexual activities amongst college students. There is a hookup culture that is emphasized in college, where students are meant to enjoy their youth and engage in short-term relationships with others. This is great for those that want to engage in that behavior, what is worrying is when people feel a sense of shame if they don’t engage in this behavior. One can make a comparison to drinking alcoholic drinks. If someone does not have strong moral ground then they will fall into the whole of peer pressure and social pressure.

 

Although sexual liberation has its faults, it has also been beneficial for sexual minorities (LGBTQ+ members, excluding asexuals) and people that wish to embrace practices such as masturbation and roleplay. The imperative yes has increased people’s tolerance for other people’s choices.

 

Nonetheless, real sexual liberation would mean that everyone has to right to make their own decisions without social consequences. Sexual liberation could be expressed through someone engaging in casual sex or someone waiting until marriage to have sex, it is all based on the person’s own definition of sexual liberation.

 

Sources:

Stereotypes

by lzg5385

Four Stereotypes About Local Immigrants - MetroFamily Magazine

Stereotypes.

 

The phenomenon that may be compared to air, the invisible yet always there. This topic came to my mind ins one of my classes called ‘Women of African Diaspora. Throughout the semester were talking about all of the challenges and accomplishments of women of African/Black descent, primarily those in the United States and the Caribbean islands. I found that many of the stereotypes and prejudices that were mentioned by the women that we read about were similar to what I had experienced. It created a sense of unity as it showed that I am not alone but it also angered me how I am not viewed as an individual before I am compared to the group. Recently, we watched a documentary about Muslim women and their specific experiences. I realized that some of the stereotypes they said are attached to them are some that I believed in. For example, one girl said mentioned that many people believe that women that wear a Hijab are extremely religious, which is exactly what I believed. This made me realize how hypocritical I was being. I was upset that stereotypes are being forced upon me but I was doing the exact same thing as those of the Islamic religion.

 

According to the New Oxford Dictionary, stereotypes are defined as “a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing”. Stereotyping infers that a person has a set of characteristics that we assume everyone else in the group also has. Humans are so accustomed to categorizing things in life; stereotyping simplify our social world and makes it easier to process and understand people around us.

 

The reactions to being stereotyped are mixed. They may create assumptions that people may view as being positive for they can create damaging assumptions. Stereotypes are the backbones of many historical social events such as the Civil Rights movement, Colonization, and the Holocaust. All of these events involved a dominant group wanting to eliminate, persecute or discriminate against a minority group that was viewed as being inferior. For example, many whites in the Jim Crow South believed that skin color and race determines someone’s character, behavior, and intelligence. This just comes to show how detrimental stereotypes may be.

 

As previously mentioned, everyone is impacted by stereotypes and everyone embraces different types of stereotypes. They might not be one associated with a person’s race but they may be stereotypes based on a profession, skills, accent, and more. In American society, it is common for people to believe that just because they are part of a minority group they are shielded from the possibilities of labeling or stereotyping someone when in reality they’re not. Everyone is impacted by stereotypes and it is important for us to acknowledge that in order for improvement in social and political climate to improve.

 

Other sources used:

Voices of Muslim Women

Simply Psychology

 

 

Feminism

by lzg5385

The F word.

 

In this blog, I will provide some information on the Feminist movement and my personal experience with it.

 

Feminism is the belief in the social, economic, and political equality of sexes. It originated in the 19th century in the western world and now is manifested worldwide. There have been clear three waves of feminism and scholars believe that society is currently in the fourth wave of feminism.

 

The first feminist campaign, first-wave feminism, began in the mid-1800s and was focused on women’s suffrage, family rights, and the right to higher education. The second wave of feminism in the 1960s and 70s aimed at ending gender segregation in higher education, challenge job, and wage discrimination, make marriage and family law gender-neutral and give women control over their bodies in terms of sex and reproduction. The third wave of feminism in the mid-1990s took a broader approach. It attacked gendered norms such as gender binary and heteronormativity, and it reaffirmed its concern with peace, environmental protection, child health, and public education. The third wave feminism advocated for intersectional feminist activism, meaning advocating for different kinds of men and women.

 

I believe that for the longest time there has been a stereotype of who feminists are and what they represent. People believed and still believe that feminists are ugly, uptight, angry women that are upset with the world. We disregard that there are different types of feminist and feminisms. There are separatist feminists who want nothing to do with men, feminists who are men, a feminist who try to gain incremental gains, and feminists that are more radical. They are all aiming for equality between sexes, but they have a slightly different way of approaching the issue.

 

For the longest time, when I would argue about abortion rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and more, and people would ask me if I was a feminist and I would always say no because the image of feminists that I had in my head was not how I viewed myself. However, now that I reflect on my beliefs, I am a feminist. I am someone that believes that everyone in society, no matter the age, gender, sexual orientation, race, class, and more, should have equal or fair opportunities in life.

 

As much as I believe in feminism, the feminist agenda does not accommodate people of color, more specifically, women of color. Kimberlé Crenshaw, an American Lawyer, civil rights advocate, philosopher, and self-proclaimed feminist has pointed out the intersectionality that women of color face that the feminist agenda does not take into consideration. Generally, feminism focuses on the issues of white, middle-class women; black women, Latina women, Native American women, Asian women, and more, do not have the same life experiences as white women. These women are pulled by two forces, racism and patriarchy, making them at a higher disadvantage than white women.

 

Feminism needs to be intersectional | The Daily Illini

As much as the movement has made significant progress towards equality, adjustments must be made in the policies and rhetoric that is employed to ensure that women of all backgrounds are included.

 

Below are the sources used in this post: 

Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions (Second Edition) by Lisa Wade 

Forbes

Opinionfront

Kimberlé TED Talk

Mapping of Margins by Kimberlé Crenshaw

Summary of Public Deliberation

by lzg5385

I chose to view the public deliberation on reforming the American prison system, it was titled “Reforming the Reform System: reevaluating U.S Prisons”.

 

I really enjoyed this public deliberation not only because I am interested in the topic, but also because of the contrasting opinions that were shared. There was a general consensus amongst the people that attended that there is change that needs to occur in the prison system, however, there was more conversation on what reform would look like. Some people, including myself, suggested that one of the ways to reform the system is by reestablishing the goal of the American criminal justice system. For example, is the focus on retribution or rehabilitation? (Keeping in mind that there are other goals). In addition, there were great voices included in the public deliberation such as a judge and a formerly incarcerated man. The judge gave his insight on the criminal justice system and how there have been instances where the courts have received complaints from prisoners about the misconduct of police officers and staff members. It was pleasant hearing from a member of the system that there are many things that need to be addressed because I believe that is much harder to notice issues when you might be contributing to the problem. My favorite perspective was from the formerly incarcerated man, unfortunately, I did not get his name. When the conversation moved to rehabilitation over retribution, he commented that this is much that the system can do. He came out of the system with hopes and dreams because he went to the programs available to him but some people don’t attend those programs. He was the highlight of the public deliberation.

 

Nonetheless, I found that there were times where the moderators were sharing their opinion more than they should. I know that it can be hard to contain yourself and not add to the conversation but there was a time where one of the moderators spoke for 2 minutes straight. I think she could’ve done a better job at moderating by asking a question so that people could get more involved. I also found that the moderators could have done a better job at continuing the conversation and asking a follow-up question. Another limitation with this deliberation was that when they introduced the approaches, it seemed as though they were not approaches to resolve a problem and more of stating the problem at hand. For example, one of the approaches had to do with how discrimination impacts people of color in the criminal justice system and the other one was about the mistreatment of prisoners. I didn’t hear any actual approaches of how to resolve these issues. I am unsure if it was stated and I missed it or if it was mentioned at all.

 

In all, I enjoyed this public deliberation. Although there were some problems with moderating the conversation, the moderators tried their best and they really seemed interested in everyone’s opinion, which was greatly appreciated. Below is a screenshot of the survey that was sent out to everyone that participated in the deliberation.

 

Gender Wage Gap in Other Countries

by lzg5385

The more that I continue to investigate the interrelation of politics and the wage gap, the more I begin to question how other developed countries have handled the gender wage gap issue. The United States has implemented several laws, including the Equal Pay of 1963, Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978, that tackled different aspects of the wage gap issue. Each law specifically targeted different demographics. The Equal Pay Act was generalized to all women, the Civil Rights Act outlawed discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin so it targeted minority women, and the Pregnancy Discrimination Act targeted pregnant women and mothers. Merely from these three laws, one can understand how complex it is to tackle this issue, there are so many intersectionality that need to be addressed. The Wage Gap is essentially a gender issue (female and male), however, the intersectionality of different identities impact the variation between the amount the woman is paid and the amount the average white man is paid. In 2019, women in the United States were paid 17.7% less than men.

 

 

The wage gap is not an American issue, it impacts countries in each continent, excluding Antarctica. One of the developed countries with the largest wage gap is South Korea, with women earning 32.5 % less income than men in 2019. South Korea has taken fewer steps in promoting equal pay between women and men compared to other developed countries. Researchers believe that the disparity has gotten worse due to the COVID-19 pandemic, considering that women account for two thirds of the country’s job losses in the service-sector and non-regular jobs. In 2014, the Korean Government began to focus on policies that would help reduce gender inequality as well as promote high fertility rates. For example, the policies that would aim at lowering the cost of childbearing for couple with maternity and paternity leave, and reduced work hours during child-rearing. In addition, the government focused on policies that would aim at giving companies incentives to hire back women after childbirth by providing them with subsidies to private firms that hire those women. The policies began to show success in promoting female labor market participation and a decrease in the difference in income between the two genders. In 2018, the government also revised their Equal Employment Opportunity Act so that it applied to all workplaces. The act states that “an employer shall provide equal pay for equal-value work within an identical business; the standards for equal-value work shall be skills, labor, responsibility, working conditions etc. required for performance of duties“. In all, although the country has the largest wage gap in all developed countries and the government was slow in their response to the issue,  the government has begun to implement laws that are meant to promote equal pay and a decrease gender discrimination.

 

Another country in the developed world that has one of the largest gender wage gap is the United Kingdom. According to Business Insider, women in the UK earn 16.8% less than men. Women are more likely to be stuck in low-paying work and still grappling with the parenthood pay gap. Women, specifically, single mothers are more likely to be engulfed into poverty due to the sad realities of the inequalities in the United Kingdom. Just like the United States and South Korea, the United Kingdom implemented the Equal Pay Act in 1970, which made it illegal for employers to pay men and women different wages for equal work. In 2017, the government introduced their Equality Pay, mandating British companies with more than 250 employees to publish their gender pay gap figures by the end of the financial year (March 30th for public companies and April 4th for private companies). They also have to reveal the proportion of men and women who receive financial bonuses . These upgrades to the law would make the payment process more transparent and will allow the government to assess the specific sectors of the economy where the wage gap is larger. However, this law was suspended during the more severe stages of the COVID-19 pandemic. Considering that the pandemic has disproportionately impacted the women’s employment, the suspension of this law out of all of the other requirements that businesses have to provide sends a message that the government is taking their foot off of the pedal. It essentially makes the public believe that the gender pay gap is not a priority.

 

 Iceland has become a country to follow in terms of their progress towards equal pay and a smaller wage gap between genders. Women are still earning a substantial amount less than men, however, the government has implemented several laws that have made Iceland an example for other developed countries. The country has had several laws such as the Equal Pay Act that dates back to 1961; however, the gap persisted. The difference between Iceland and many countries is that they have made it a criminal offense for employers not to take action on unequal pay . In 2018, Iceland introduced the first policy in the world that requires companies and institutions with more than 25 employees to prove that women and men are being paid equally for a job of equal value. The evaluation tool that is used to measure this is the Equal Wage Management Standard. The government has made it so those that are able to prove receive a certification but those that aren’t able to prove that are fined a daily amount of around $500. The Icelandic system has made the pay system more transparent and has focused on holding companies accountable; it has “shifted the burden of proof to the employer”.

 

In all, although developed countries are meant to be more economically, politically and socially developed, there are several countries that have a large gender pay gap. Therefore, their economies are among the top in the world with a high GDP (Gross Domestic Product) per capita, but there is a large disparity between the amount that women and men are paid. It is evident that the United States could learn from other countries’ policies, specifically Iceland’s policies. It would also be interesting to do some research on how laws and government intervention targeting the wage gap would differ between developing countries and developed countries. 

The Cycle of Life

by lzg5385

The older I get, the more I realize how weird this concept of life is. I used to view life with so much joy and positivity. I believed that the world was filled with great people and that you could become everything that you wanted. I had that naïve look at life that is expected in children, it would horrible to have children already worry about global hunger, hatred, and injustice. Now, I have come to understand how complex the concept of life really is. 

 

I am still very optimistic about life. I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy and spreading joy into the world. I also believe that everything you put out into the world will be returned to you in full. As much as I want to only believe in that, I also know that there are so many obstacles that life throws at us; these obstacles could happen out of nowhere, they can be inevitable or they could be induced by human interaction. For example, obstacles that could appear out of nowhere could be like this Coronavirus pandemic that many people did not expect, obstacles that are inevitable is death (of others) and obstacles that are induced by human interaction is discrimination. All of these things can make life much harder.

 

Many people, and myself until recently, address life as a cycle. We believe that we are brought into this world, have to do something while we’re here meaning we might have some ups and downs but it is all part of living, and then we die. The cycle then repeats for everyone. However, I am beginning to view life as more of a big and fun rollercoaster. In the beginning, we are excited and maybe nervous about getting on the ride but you sit yourself down on the seat and prepare yourself for what is to come. As you slowly ascend, your heart rate increases and you begin to rethink your decisions but there is no turning back cause you’re on this ride until it ends. Each peak is a representation of the highs in life, the times where you felt like you’re on top of the world. Each trough represents the lows in life, where you begin to question all of the choices that you’ve made. The closer to get to the end of the ride, the more you wish that it would continue because you didn’t expect it to end so soon. This is how I am beginning to view life. We don’t have control over the turns that we experience on the rollercoaster but we do have control over how we feel about it. We can scream and cry, we can scream but laugh or we can even close our eyes until it’s all over.

 

My goal is not to force positivity but I do want to emphasize this idea of a roller-coaster. It is not that one must be positive throughout the whole experience but one should know that life is not a constant low, there are peaks as well as troughs that are meant to teach you lessons.

 

Another thing that I also came to realize is that the only thing that is guaranteed in life is death. It’s quite sad honestly. All of us that are brought into this universe has an expiration date. This is a very indifferent way of addressing death, it takes away the emotion of the activity and associates us to a thing like milk and cheese that are bound to expire. As detached as that may seem, it is the truth. Once we come outside of the comfort of our mother’s body, we must confront the world, we don’t know what is in store but all we know is that one day, it’ll all be gone. So might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Public Deliberation – Research on Proposal

by lzg5385

The gender wage gap is caused by a number of factors including the jobs that women generally find themselves in, the differences in hours, education differences, and the gendered norms and stereotypes of women. Those are the major factors that impede women from receiving the same amount compared to men, but there is a more pressing factor that impacts women compared to men, that being, motherhood. There are several ways to combat the gender wage gap.

 

Raise the minimum wage

As mentioned previously, one of the factors that impact the wage gap is the type of jobs that women primarily work in. According to the Economic Policy Institute (EPI), 59% of minimum wage workers are women, with nearly one in four of these women being Latina or Black. With the current federal minimum wage at $7.25 per hour, an increase in the federal minimum wage would have an impact on the gender and racial pay gap. The minimum wage has remained at this rate since 2009 even though inflation since then has increased prices at an average of 18.9%. Therefore, as the prices of goods and the cost of living increases, the wages minimum wage workers receive have remained the same, making them less likely to be able to afford the necessary resources. Considering that women make up a majority of minimum wage workers, it contributes to the overall wage gap causing it to become more and more unequal. 

 

Historically, women have been pushed out of skilled and high-paying jobs as a result of sexism and racism. Today, many of the jobs that women have are still considered low-wage jobs. For example, roles such as retail cashiers, maids, and housekeepers that typically make less than $15 per hour, women make up 77% and 88% of the workforce, respectively. 

 

The Democratic party has reintroduced the Raise the Wage Act, which is a bill that would increase the minimum wage to $15 per hour by 2025. Almost doubling the federal minimum wage would allow people earning less than $15 an hour to experience an increase in their paycheck. Hence, allow women to experience an increase in their paycheck. Nonetheless, this suggestion involves more of a political push and the implementation of laws, rather than a more social change that would involve a change in mindset. 

 

Shift in culture – Motherhood

Society’s perception of motherhood and women need to be transformed in order to allow the gender wage gap to close. Throughout American society, the way that parenting has been separated has changed slightly but the traditional forces continue to have an impact on people’s perception. 

 

Society needs to change the notion of gendered parenting to allow fathers and mothers to achieve similar accomplishments. In heterosexual relationships, the burden of caring for a child is primarily pushed towards women. Traditionalists believe that men are responsible for earning income whereas women are responsible for housework and childcare, also known as the traditional breadwinner/homemaker. This is seen in all classes of society but it is more prevalent at the highest and lowest family income levels. Neo Traditionalists believe that women should be able to work if she desires to but only if it doesn’t interfere with her “duty” to take care of her husband and children. At the end of the day, women are in charge of the children. 

 

As a result of this norm, employees become much more cautious when employing a woman, especially one that is already a mother. Mothers experience a “mother tax”, the notion that when mothers take time out of work to raise small children, they lose wages, benefits, and Social Security contributions. Employers fear that mothers will be less likely to dedicate time to work and therefore, pay them less or offer them lower position s than fathers that might have the same qualifications. This pushes the wage gap further apart. The way to fix this is by society changing their views of fatherhood and motherhood. There shouldn’t be an automatic pressure on mothers to be at home and take care of children because that pressure contributes to the fact that mothers/women are paid less.

 

These stereotypes are also perpetuated through the media. Advertisements that involve children generally include a woman or a woman with a man. Also, movies and shows generally show fathers as being incompetent parents causing the mother to step up and take that responsibility. The media needs to start portraying fathers in the same light that they portray mothers, that will begin to change the way people view parenting and hopefully change employers’ minds when they employ women.

 

Pass paid sick days legislation (or paternity/maternity leave)

A way to address the pay difference for men and women would be through implementing paternity and maternity leave. This is common in Scandinavian countries such as Sweden that it is uncommon for parents to work when they are close to bringing a child into the world. The country is rather generous with this police; they give parents 480 days of parental leave during which they are both still paid. Since the US doesn’t have paid maternity leave or paternity leave, the best step would be to add mandatory paternity leave to ensure that fathers are treated the same as women. This would also take away the negative stigma attached to women and mothers since men will be encouraged to take on the same responsibility, impacting the way that fathers are paid in comparison to mothers.

 

In conclusion, in order to address the gender wage gap, there would have to be institutional and political changes, as well as changes in the societal norms and perceptions. The government would have to intervene in the workforce by increasing the federal minimum wage to benefit the women that make up more than half of minimum-wage jobs. In addition, changes in views of motherhood and fatherhood to one where they are both viewed with equal responsibilities will allow for mothers to have more opportunities to make a similar amount to male counterparts. Implementing paternity leave would help with the change in societal norms

Perception of African Nation pt.2

by lzg5385

This blog post will be a continuation of a post that was published in the first semester on the foreigner’s perception of African nations. That post focused more on a video that I had seen where Black American women went on a rant about how African countries, specifically Nigeria is “dirt poor”. As a proud African/Angolan, that video irked my soul. I found her comments to be completely ignorant and represented one side of all of what African nations have to offer. In the blog post, I tried to be as least biased as I could by confirming that living conditions and the standard of living in the average African country was worse than developed countries and even developing countries in Europe and the Americas. However, I made sure to point out that Africa is not poor, it is exploited.

 

This blog post is a response to another video that I saw. This one was actually of a young Angolan/Portuguese/British artist (quite a lot of nationalities, I know). She is an aspiring rapper/singer that used to be a part of an Angola group but broke away a few years ago to pursue a solo career. She was invited to perform for this YouTube channel called Colors that focuses on showcasing rising stars. Her performance was great and there were quite a lot of people from Angola that were cheering her on, it was the interview that she did afterward that had many Angolans upset. When asked about how Angola was like, her response was focused on the fact that Angolans suffer. She said, “Here in Angola we’re so comfortable, in Angola you literally see kids on the street begging for food“.

 

My issue with her response was not that she mentioned that Angolans struggle, it was the fact that her response revolved around that struggle. This is already a notion that is clear to foreigners; the media and news outlets already convey this reality. This one-sided story makes people ignorant of the other aspects of African nations and what they have to offer. It is tiring always hearing the same assumptions and line of questioning when it comes to Angola. Yes, we have absolute poverty. Yes, we have corruption. Yes, there are children begging on the street. But also, yes, we are a new country that is only trying to figure out how to survive. Yes, we have an amazing, festive culture. Yes, we have beautiful scenery. I wish that her response focused more on the aspects that other foreigners wouldn’t know about just by googling, rather than the same overused script.

This blog post was a lot less informative and much more personal as it refers to my homeland but I believe that it is important to shed light on how people can use their platform for positive reasons. By saying what she said, the artist has essentially dissuaded people from visiting Angola and perpetuated the notion that African nations are “dirty poor”

Sexual Education

by lzg5385

Sex. Sexuality. Sexual Education, the topic that makes many parents cringe and avoid. This avoidance is what causes many teenagers and young adults to still be confused about topics such as consent and sexuality. This is not to say that these are straight forward topics, but steering clear from the topic is not going to make it any easier to understand. Quality sexual education is vital for a society to make smart and safe sexual health decisions.

 

A large misconception of sexual education is that it is merely about sex and sexual organs. Sexual education comprises several topics such as human development (reproduction, sexual orientation, and gender identity), relationships (platonic and romantic relationships), and sexual health (sexually transmitted diseases and contraception). These are crucial topics to talk about as one transforms from a child to a teenager and from a teenager to a young adult. Sex education can occur in schools, at home and for many children, they occur online which could cause more misconceptions about sexual health and etc.

 

I never had the “talk” with my parents. I kind of learned about sex and sexuality from different places; I learned a little in school, a little online, and a little from conversations with friends. I pride myself in having very intelligent and curious friends so many of our conversations were informative and were based on the research that we would do. However, the things that we found were not always accurate because the internet is filled with false and confusing information, which is why we needed clear, quality sexual education.

 

My school did provide a few quality workshops on sex, sexuality, and relationships. One of my favorite workshops was one where we went through several scenarios and decided if they resemble a healthy relationship or a toxic relationship. It led to informative conversations on gender roles and expectations, what is acceptable and what is not. Many teenagers don’t have access to these types of exercises, which makes them more vulnerable to involve themselves in toxic relationships. Another workshop that I enjoyed was where we were all encouraged to go out and buy condoms (with the consent of our parents). They explained that there is a huge stigma attached to teenagers purchasing condoms because in a perfect world, we shouldn’t be engaging in sexual activities but the reality is that we do so might as well engage in safe sex.

 

A major topic that I believe has only really come to light in the last few years is consent. There are several people that don’t know what consent looks and sounds like. Some believe that not consenting to something is only when the person says “no”, however, an “I don’t know” and nonverbal cues such as pushing away can also mean no. More talk about consent could prevent future cases of sexual harassment and more.

 

Something that needs to improve in sexual education is the focus on heterosexuality, specifically when the topic is sex. The majority of the information that I received in school, and I believe many people receive, has to do with a woman with a vagina and a man with a penis. This is the norm. As a result, those who don’t identify as heterosexual or “straight” are excluded. Sex between gay men is very different from sex between lesbian women. There needs to be more conversation about how to engage in safe sexual practices for those outside of the norm of heterosexuality.

I Believe

by lzg5385

For the longest time, I considered myself to be a caring, rather selfless person. Of course, I had moments of selfishness that are common in children such as wanting a toy or specific food all to myself but reflecting on my preteen and early teenage years, I was very considerate of others’ feelings. My friends viewed me as the friend that was always there to help. I took on the mom and counselor role of the group, and in all honesty, I didn’t mind. I loved knowing that I was helping others, it made me ecstatic to make other people happy. It was only at 14 when taking on those roles took a toll on my wellbeing. My school took my grade on a trip to Johannesburg, South Africa for 9 days. One can imagine that putting a group of 40 teenagers in cabins for 9 days is bound to end in unnecessary drama, which is exactly what happened. There were at least 4 different things happening at once and I found myself in the middle of it all. I was the neutral one and people would rant to me. One night, I began crying at the dinner table. I was overwhelmed. I was trying so hard to help others with their problems but I failed to realize that I am only human, there is only so much that a 14-year-old girl can do. I tied to act like superwoman when I knew I couldn’t. From then on I began to focus more on myself and my wellbeing.

 

I believe in Selfcare. I believe in the act of being selfish when needed. Selfishness generally has a negative connotation as it is associated with greed, shallowness, and unequivocal personal gratification. However, I view selfishness as a spectrum. The words just mentioned are on the more extreme part of that spectrum. Being selfish is knowing when to put yourself first, it is about being concerned with your own personal pleasure. 

 

Selfcare is defined as a way of physically taking care of yourself which then evolves into caring for your emotional well-being. Engaging in self-care is even more important when you find yourself in a state of extreme exhaustion, no matter if it’s emotionally, mentally, or physically. It is also important when you’re in need of help, when you need alone time and when there is a drastic or significant change in your life.

 

A perfect analogy for self-care is the oxygen mask on the plane. On an airplane, in case of an emergency, you are told to put on your oxygen mask before helping others put their oxygen masks on. This is because if you don’t put your mask on first, your ability to effectively help others will be compromised and could lead to you and other people being in danger.

 

There are several ways to engage in self-care. It could range from physical activities such as exercising, taking a relaxing bath, and meditating, to more subtle things such as accepting help, knowing when to take a break, and learning to say no. All of these activities are meant to put your body and mind more at ease to ensure that you are in a better place in your life. I engage in several self-care activities such as taking a 30 minute to an hour walk around my neighborhood without touching my phone. This time alone doesn’t just allow me to get in exercise, it also allows me to resolve issues with myself, think about future plans, and ground myself.

 

Even when partaking in Selfcare activities, I still consider myself a caring person; however, I now know my limits and I know when to put myself first. There is so much going on around the world at the moment and it could become extremely overwhelming, therefore, I encourage everyone to engage in self-care activities.