Kiersten Stafford

After a first semester filled with mental health struggles, homesickness, and heartbreak, I wasn’t too excited to come back to Penn State for spring semester. Tears were shed when it was time to make the drive back to State College. I just could not imagine how my life could ever be as good as it was in high school. I didn’t think I was capable of loving Penn State. And I certainly didn’t ever think I would say the words “I love Penn State” out loud.

January started out the way first semester had ended. Getting through each day felt like a struggle. I felt as lonely as ever at Penn State. It wasn’t until February that things started to change. I think the biggest thing that changed in February was my relationships with my volleyball teammates. I started to get really close with them, and I realized that I had so much more in common with them than I originally thought. I started forcing myself to go out and hang out with friends more, as well as setting aside time in my day to go to the gym or read a book. Making these little daily changes had profound positive effects on my mental health. 

The next major shift that happened for me this semester took place THON weekend. I spent over 30 hours at the BJC with my teammates who were quickly becoming my best friends, supporting our dancers through the 46-hour dance marathon. That weekend at THON, I truly felt like a part of something bigger than myself. That was the first weekend that Penn State felt like home. That was the first weekend where I really felt proud to be a Penn Stater. 

Spring only continued to get better as the weather got warmer. I was elected as THON chair for my volleyball team for next year, which put me on the officer board and gave me a renewed sense of purpose and belonging on the team. March snuck up on me, and all of the sudden it was time for spring break. To my surprise, I actually didn’t want to go home. I never thought there would be a time when I wasn’t jumping at the opportunity to leave State College and go home. 

After spring break, things just kept getting better. The weather was improving, and volleyball tournaments were back in full swing. My favorite experience from freshman year has definitely been traveling for tournaments. To cap off our season, we flew to Phoenix, Arizona for Nationals. That week was by far the best week of my life. Imagine a vacation where you’re surrounded by 25 of your closest friends AND you get to play your favorite sport against the best collegiate club teams in the country. That week felt like a dream. Coming back to State College to a snowstorm and a pile of homework to be made up and exams to study for wasn’t the best feeling in the world, but despite this, I was happier to be in State College than my first-semester self ever thought I would be.

The cherry on top of my Penn State redemption story took place this past weekend. On Friday, my friend from high school came up and I got to show her around campus. I realized how much I love this campus while seeing it through her eyes. The next day was the blue and white game, and I spent the day at the tailgate fields with my best friends. It was a day filled with sunshine, good food, laughter, music, and so much happiness. The kind of happiness I never thought I would experience here at Penn State. But the weekend wasn’t over yet. The next day, my team hosted an outdoor volleyball tournament. I spent the entire day sitting under a sunny sky in 80-degree weather playing the sport I love with my best friends, without a care in the world. It was that day, sitting on the field with my team, watching the championship game, feeling the warm sun on my skin, and drinking a slushie, that I said aloud, “I love Penn State.” And I really, truly meant it.

My first year of college was nowhere near easy. At times during first semester, I really didn’t think I was going to make it through this year. It was by far the biggest and steepest uphill climb of my life. But the view from the top is better than I ever imagined it would be. I am so excited to see what the next three years hold for me here at Penn State. It won’t always be easy, but it will all be worth it for moments like the ones I was fortunate enough to experience this past semester. I am thankful for everything freshman year taught me. 1 down, 3 to go 🙂

Yes, it’s why you went to college. It is a very important part of college. But it’s not the most important part of college.

When I first came to Penn State, I heralded my grades as the single most important thing in my life. I thought it was essential to graduate with a 4.0. Going to law school is my dream, and in my head, I seemed to think that I need to have straight A’s in college in order to do that. I ended up getting my straight A’s first semester, but at what cost? My mental health was down the drain. I couldn’t stand being at Penn State. I rarely ever hung out with friends or did things for my own personal enjoyment. Everything was school, school, school, all the time. And I thought that’s what college was going to be like for all four years. The thought of reliving that semester over and over for four whole years terrified me.

I started out with the same mentally coming into spring semester, until my mental health hit an all-time low and I knew something needed to change. I started prioritizing spending time with my friends, even if it cut into my study time a little bit. I sectioned off a little bit of time in every day to focus on self-care, whether that be going for a run, going to the gym, or reading a book. While all of this helped improve my mental health significantly, I still put too much emphasis on having the perfect GPA and getting the best grades. It wasn’t until my trip to Club Volleyball National Championships that my mindset changed. I had the best week of my life with my best friends, exploring Phoenix, playing volleyball, and making memories that will last a lifetime.

When I came back to State College after the happiest week of my life, I had piles of homework to make up and tests to study for. I acknowledged that some of those grades could have potentially been a little bit better if I had been in State College hunched over my laptop the week before, instead of enjoying my one precious life in Phoenix. But I also accepted that that is okay. I do not condone completely abandoning schoolwork and barely scraping through college with C’s and D’s, but I realized that I will still get to law school and accomplish all of the things I want to if I get a few A-‘s and B’s in hard classes. Instead of stressing about trying to be perfect all the time, I need to allow myself to enjoy the other things that college has to offer, as those are the experiences I will remember forever.

College is a very special and unique time in one’s life. When else are you going to live in a town full of people your age, within walking distance of all of your best friends? After seeing the extreme change in my mental health from fall to spring semester, I now understand the importance of having balance in your college life. Yes, grades are important for the future. But so are the once-in-a-lifetime memories you make in college. The latter shouldn’t be sacrificed in an attempt to graduate with a perfect GPA. I guess what I am trying to say is that schoolwork is not the most important part of college, because there is no most important part of college. Having a healthy balance is essential to making the most of your college experience.

As technology continues to improve, children gain more access to content and knowledge that was previously unavailable to them. But, consequently, the ability of parents to monitor and control their children at all times has escalated dramatically. Naturally, a little bit of parental monitoring is necessary, as giving children unlimited access to the Internet and the horrors within can be extremely dangerous and harmful. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and allowing parents full control over their children in the name of parental monitoring can be harmful in its own way.

With the rise of technology, intrusive surveillance has become a sort of “parental rite of passage” in the US. Parents who don’t obsessively monitor their child’s every move through apps like Life360 are shamed for being negligent and not caring about the safety of their children. But parents who subscribe to the “parental panopticon” may in fact be doing their children more harm than good. These parents spend so much daily energy protecting their kids from threats that aren’t even there. If your child has never attempted to run away or engage in rebellious behavior, is there any reason to install security cameras within your home or track their location constantly? If your child has never engaged in suspicious activity online, is there a justified reason for you as a parent to monitor all of their texts and social media?

Research suggests that constant vigilance actually does the opposite of increasing teen safety. A study conducted by the University of Central Florida found that “parents who used monitoring apps were more likely to be authoritarian, and that teens who were monitored were not just equally likely but more likely to be exposed to unwanted explicit content and to bullying.” Another study, from the Netherlands, found that, unsurprisingly, monitored teens were more secretive and less likely to ask for help. Most teens feel that monitoring poisons a relationship. And for queer and trans kids, there are situations where their safety may depend on being able to explore their identity and find an online community without having all of the details exposed to their families. 

While monitoring can be useful for parents of young children who don’t want their elementary-aged kids exposed to harmful things on the Internet, restricting the access of teens does more harm than good. Teens deserve to have a little bit of privacy. And the fact of the matter is, that teens will find a way to do whatever they want on the Internet, regardless of how closely they are being monitored. Most teens, when properly educated, will make smart choices on the Internet and social media and will avoid trouble altogether. However, it is inevitable that teens occasionally will find trouble on the Internet. The difference between a teen who lives under the threatening surveillance of their parents and a teen who has an open relationship with their parents is that the latter will be more comfortable talking to their parents if they find themselves in a dangerous or troubling situation. Parents who encourage their children to be honest with them will be able to guide their teens through tough situations safely. Parents who threaten their teens with 24/7 surveillance and punishment for stepping out of line will raise sneaky, dishonest teens who are unable to reach out to their parents for help when they end up in dangerous and even life-threatening situations.

As an American society, I think we all need to take a step back and examine the logic behind our parenting habits. No other country is as obsessively locked into the kid surveillance complex as we are, and yet other first-world countries aren’t losing their kids to online predators at higher rates. We need to switch to a paradigm of teen safety that empowers kids and sets them up for a successful, safe transition to Internet (and real-life) independence. But first, we must relieve parents of the expectation that only their constant surveillance and vigilance can protect their teens from online and offline disasters. Healthy conversation between parents and their kids allows families to work together on safety, increasing both security and freedom for everyone involved. 

Sources:

1. The Kid Surveillance Complex Locks Parents in a Trap
2. Teen Monitoring Apps Don’t Work and Just Make Teens Hate Their Parents, Study Finds
3. Parents Shouldn’t Spy On Their Kids

For this week’s passion blog, I am moving away from personal opinions about random topics and talking about one particular aspect of the American political process that, in my opinion, should be amended. 

Most people from Pennsylvania are familiar with the fact that the state requires voters to register with a party to vote in the primary elections. Pennsylvania voters are then only allowed to vote for a candidate within the party they are registered with. This is known as a closed primary. Closed primaries “preserve a party’s freedom of association by better ensuring that only members of the party can influence that party’s nominees” (FairVote). However, critics claim that closed parties exacerbate the radical partisan polarization that is taking place in the United States. Closed primaries also provide an obstacle for true independent voters. Voters may want to vote for a candidate from one party in one primary and a candidate from the other party in the next. Closed primaries force voters to choose a side, and this often discourages independent voters from voting in the primaries at all. Currently, 14 states and the District of Columbia have closed primaries.

The most popular type of primary is an open primary. 21 states are currently utilizing open primaries. In an open party, voters of any affiliation can vote in the primary of whichever party they choose. However, voters can only vote in one party’s primary, although this prohibition can be difficult to enforce in the event that a party has a primary runoff election (FairVote). Despite the ability to vote for a desired candidate in either party as an independent, open primaries have their own drawbacks. One area of contention is “crossover” voting. This usually involves voters affiliated with one political party voting in another political party’s primary in hopes of influencing the outcome. For example, Republican voters in a district that tends to consistently elect a Democratic nominee might vote in the Democratic party primary. This could be a good faith attempt to put a more conservative Democratic nominee in office, or it could be sabotage, in hopes of nominating a weaker Democratic candidate who is easier to defeat in the general election (FairVote).

The final type of primary used in the US is the semi-closed primary. 15 states currently operate under a semi-closed primary system. In a semi-closed primary, unaffiliated voters can choose which party primary to vote in, while voters registered with a party can only vote in that party’s primary. Semi-closed primaries “represent a middle ground between the exclusion of independent voters in a closed primary and the free-for-all of open primaries” (FairVote). The semi-closed primary also eliminates concerns about voters registered in other parties “raiding” another party’s elections. 

So what is the issue with Pennsylvania’s primary system? First of all, Pennsylvania is a major swing state, with 14% of voters not registered with either major party. This means that “nearly 1.2 million Pennsylvania voters are turned away from voting in the primary elections that will choose their candidate options in the general election” (Third Way). The votes of 1.2 million Pennsylvanians are no small loss in the primary elections. Therefore, I believe that the American, and more specifically Pennsylvanian, primary system needs to be amended. The American election system places too many burdens on voters and discourages citizens from utilizing their greatest democratic right. While I do believe that a Constitutional amendment mandating semi-closed primaries would be for the best, I think that changing Pennsylvania’s primary system would be a more realistic starting point. As a major swing state, our votes in Pennsylvania matter. All Pennsylvanians should be able to vote in the primaries, regardless of party affiliation.

In the past decade, a certain genre of social media “influencer” has risen to unforeseen fame. Family vlogging is a somewhat recent trend that is dominating the online video content scene, specifically on Youtube. The main content focus of these channels is the daily lives and activities of the family that runs the account. The children take center stage, with their entire lives being put on full-blast for millions on the internet to see and any trace of privacy being completely eliminated. Family vlogs, which are disguised as a fun, harmless family-friendly form of entertainment, create a psychologically damaging childhood that forces children into the toxic “influencer culture” (and a life of unwanted fame) before they are given the choice to partake in it.

The culture of family vlogging is harmful for many reasons. From an extremely young age, children are exploited without consent for their parent’s profit. The daily struggles and misbehaviors of these children are manipulated and exaggerated to be used as clickbait and increase views. While once upon a time family vlogs depicted average everyday life, the increasing amount of revenue that was coming to YouTubers in the mid-2010s forcefully raised the bar. The daily activities of everyday individuals were no longer cutting it, and the pursuit for extravagance, perfection, and arrogance began to take hold, at the expense of the families’ most vulnerable members.

A family vlogging channel cannot be successful without the presence of children. And the central focus on children does not come without detrimental cost. From the time they wake up until the time they go to bed, these children have every element of their life recorded and uploaded to the Internet for anyone to see. Since these children are not considered to be employed, they are not subject to child labor laws and are therefore expected to be camera-ready and “perform” for an audience at all times of the day. Parents are not required to pay their children or ask their children for permission to post their private business on the internet. Instead, temper tantrums are used as clickbait and personal problems are put on blast for the entire world to see. These factors make family vlogging a modern, unmonitored form of child labor.

Being raised as an “influencer” is not only psychologically damaging to children, but also fosters a parent-child relationship in which children are trained that in order to please and be loved by their parents they must perform for the camera in just the right way. Many children become confused as to why their parents treat them differently when the camera is on versus when it is off, and these children grow up feeling like their parents view them as an employee, or worse, a commodity to be sold for personal gain. More often than not, the parents will choose to make money over providing basic human decency to their offspring. When parents are making millions off of their children, it is not a surprise that parents tend to act in the best interest of themselves over the best interest of their kids. 

Between the lack of legal protections for kids, the competitive environment of the vlogging community, and the permanent psychological damage faced by children of family vloggers, it is clear that this is not a healthy form of income for families. The borderline abusive environment of toxic influencer families is no place for a child to grow up. Until laws are put in place to prevent children from being exploited on the internet by their very own parents, internet users should be more conscious of what video content they are choosing to consume. As more people stay away from “family vlogger” content, the allure of becoming a family lifestyle influencer will hopefully begin to fade and the innocence of childhood can be preserved for more children.

Colleges everywhere are adamant that freshmen live with roommates. Every college that I toured requires freshmen to live in a dorm with at least one roommate. Every school visit was the same, with tour guides insisting that living with a roommate your first year provides you with a great opportunity to make new friends. They all act like your freshman year roommate will be your best friend. But for me and many others, living with a roommate has been less than tolerable.

As a junior in high school, I grew accustomed to hearing my older sister’s roommate horror stories. I felt terrible for her. I also became increasingly nervous about my own future roommate. I was determined to do everything in my power to avoid having the same problem. But despite my resoluteness and preparedness, I still ended up in a very similar situation as my sister. 

Spring of senior year of high school saw many awkward small-talk conversations with potential roommates. I was determined to find the perfect roommate. We didn’t have to be best friends, but we needed to get along and have a mutual respect for each other. After weeks of talking to a girl who I felt I had a lot in common with, she asked me to room with her and I obliged. When move-in day rolled around, I was optimistic that I was going to be able to avoid my sister’s roommate problems. Things started out okay. We were not best friends and we didn’t have as much in common as I originally thought, but we got along fine and we respected each other. Until my roommate switched rooms to move in with her best friend and I ended up with a random roommate that I did not choose, agree to, or have any say over. And just like that, my sister’s nightmare roommate situation became my reality. Despite my thorough preparation, I was still unable to avoid the same fate that she faced.

I was always told that living with a roommate my freshmen year would be a good experience. No one warned me that my freshman year roommate would single-handedly have the power to ruin my first two semesters of college. Aside from my living situation, I have thoroughly enjoyed my first year at Penn State. I have made amazing friends through the club volleyball team and I am doing well academically. But neither my best friends or the allure of fun volleyball trips can make living at Penn State worth it when I have to go home to my loud, inconsiderate, rude roommate. Despite all of the amazing people and experiences I have here at Penn State, I was secretly hoping to go online after winter break to get through at least a few weeks of the semester without having to live with my roommate. 

I personally know that my freshman year experience would be 1000 times better if I wasn’t required to have a roommate. I know that many others feel the same way. I also know that some people really enjoy living with a roommate. This is why I feel very passionately that more schools should allow their students to choose to pay more for a single room dorm freshman year. Penn State is undergoing a dorm renovation project–why not make some of the rooms smaller single rooms? Living with a roommate isn’t for everyone, and no student should be forced to put up with the unpleasant and sometimes detrimental experience of dealing with a bad roommate.

Hey everyone! For my passion blog this semester, I am going to be doing something called The Hill I Will Die On: Random Opinions That I am Extremely Passionate About. This is essentially a way for me to rant about things that mean a lot to me for no reason at all  🙂 I am starting off with the one thing that I am most passionate about on Planet Earth and that is Miss Taylor Swift. Everyone is (or should be) aware of the wide range of music that Taylor Swift produces on each of her albums. Yet for some reason, many consider the album Lover to be her “flop era.” First of all, she does not have a flop era. That’s ridiculous. Second of all, Lover actually happens to be my favorite album. It is not just the happy, upbeat, glitter and rainbows album that songs like “Me!” and “You Need to Calm Down” make it out to be. Just like all of Taylor’s other albums, Lover has layers and complexities and an intense demonstration of every single emotion known to humankind.

One song on Lover that I think is terribly mistaken is the song “Lover” itself. Many people talk about how romantic this song is, and how they want it played at their wedding, but I personally was thoroughly and profusely traumatized upon hearing this song.  To this day, “Lover” is one of the only Taylor Swift songs that can bring me to tears without fail. You might be wondering why such a happy song is capable of making me so upset. But just like every other Taylor Swift song (besides “Shake It Off”), “Lover” is immensely nuanced.

The song “Lover” is about a love that is so serious and so real and so valuable that the thought of losing that person is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. And yet, loving someone to that extent doesn’t make you any less likely to lose them. That kind of intense and passionate love only ends in one of two ways: happily ever after, or the worst heartbreak imaginable. Nothing in the song is definitive or final. The lyrics discuss things that the narrator and her lover “could” do, and the chorus is made up of questions such as “Can I go where you go?” and “Can we always be this close?” What if the answer to those questions ends up being no? Then you lose the one person who you loved more than anyone else in the whole world. And what could possibly be more heartbreaking than that?

I know just as well as the next person that Taylor Swift has written a heartbreak anthem for every type of emotional pain under the sun. This is why many people are shocked that I think “Lover” is one of her saddest songs. I am aware of how strange it may seem to cry hysterically over a mushy love song, but thanks to my chronic fear of abandonment, the thought of opening up to someone and growing to love them and depend on their presence in your life only to set yourself up to lose them is the most heartbreaking thing imaginable. Therefore, I think “Lover” goes down as one of the saddest songs in Taylor Swift’s discography, and that is a hill that I will die on.