Every week I will be reminding everyone about some awesome (some not so awesome, but still story-worthy) events throughout American history. They will be based on Comedy Central’s series “Drunk History”. This being said, I will fact-check everything they say to make sure it’s real, but I’ll try to make history as interesting as they do.
Alright well first off, Elvis was already in his glory in December of 1970, he’s straight chillin’ in a club in LA with his boys doin’ beers when he overhears this guy who works in voice animation saying that HE HAS A NARCOTICS BADGE. A narcotics badge is pretty much the closest thing we civilians can get to escaping the law. Elvis hears this and immediately begins his hunt to get himself this free pass for life. He gets on the next plane to DC and writes Nixon a letter IN FLIGHT pretty much saying “hey prez, I’m on my way to DC right now let’s hang out in the next couple of days, I really want to be a special agent at large, you don’t have to give me any special position or anything, but I really think I’d be awesome at it because musicians are doing drugs literally ALL THE TIME I could totally help out”
If you want to read the note click here
Clearly, Nixon was totally on-board with the idea and was like “hey, yeah come over let’s hang, dude” so on December 21, 1970 the king of rock ‘n’ roll met President Richard Milhous Nixon. The conversation that ensued I can only dream of witnessing. With a Colt .45 pistol en tote as a present for his new friend, Elvis entered the White House and talked about Communist brain washing, how The Beatles were hurting the American spirit, and the drug problem in America. If you don’t believe me here’s an article from a valid source.
But it gets better. Elvis shows off his police badge collection to the POTUS and casually asks, like he’s asking his childhood friend if he could have one of his fries, if he could have a badge issued by the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs. In a memorandum issued to the president, it is obvious they were not planning on giving it to him. BUT THEY DID.
Just when you thought that was the best story you’ve ever heard, you’re wrong it gets EVEN BETTER. So Elvis is so amped he just got the most powerful badge in the law enforcement realm, a while later they’re hanging out and this weird guy keeps hanging around, at first Elvis is like “don’t worry about it guys he’s cool, it’s fine” but eventually Elvis subtly pays for this guys flight back home as a gentle nudge to get him to leave. Elvis and co. realize some of his jewelry is missing and they suspect the weirdo. So as the freak’s plane is on the runway about to take off Elvis stops the plane using his badge and interrogates him until he admits he took the jewelry.
Truly the most American story I have ever heard.
knd5174 says
This was a wild story start to finish. I’m so glad you based your blog on awesome historical anecdotes more people should know more about. I love your love of history.