Describe a conversation in which you consciously suspended your answers to some questions. Did the person you were conversing with fill the silence and provide additional information?
I am currently taking AI – 884 this semester and we have be doing a lot of work around our strengths and what areas that we want to work on. I often write about my listening skills. I do have strong listening skills, but I want to have stellar listening skills. My mind has a lot in it (as many of us do) work, kids, school, house, finances, etc., it is quite easy to let your mind wander.
I’ve been working on “being where my boots are” and really focusing on being in the moment. I have made some progress as well. I recently was working with one of my senior leaders and we were in a visioning session with a few others to white board what a team could be in future state. I have tons of ideas, but I am their coach, their facilitator, so I need to sit back for at least a bit while they ideate and think out loud. This is often frustrating as I am an extrovert and love to participate, however, my role, especially in this scenario, is to observe, listen and coach. About 15 minutes into the session, one of the participants came up with a creative idea. I said 3 words – tell me more…. and boy did they get excited and began writing up on the board what the team could be. The future state came to life, the energy in the room increased and the others in the room started to add their thoughts as well. That was a success moment of suspension for me.
Additionally, I facilitate a lot of large group events. Many facilitators do not like quiet space. If a question is asked, if 5-8 seconds go by, many folks jump in to fill in the silence. Not me – I have learned in my 17 years of leadership – embrace the silence – someone wants to speak and will speak and then the session will be much more successful. Nearly never fails.